How do you stay patient with your parent?

My mother broke a hip in August and later had a hospitalization for an unrelated condition. She is making a lot of progress and I find that she is driving me more crazy now that she is "better." She wants to do dumb things like not use her walker. And she is dying to get back in the kitchen and cook, even though a doctor in the hospital thought she shouldn't, because he thought she had cognitive problems -- actually I don't agree with that. She is the WORST housekeeper. I hate when she gets in the kitchen because things get so greasy and dirty in her care, It was getting nice and clean under my care. She is also the WORST conversationalist. She has always had this very, very annoying style of draaaaaaging out a story and talking about really trivial things in the most minute detail. You just want to die of boredom listening to her. I work evenings, and when I got back to her apartment tonight at midnight, she wanted to have a big long conversation with me because we had had an argument earlier in the day. She is very hard of hearing and refuses to wear a hearing aid (even though she used to work for a hearing aid sales company) -- so I have to practically shout to be heard. I just got so tired of going over the same point over and over and I did not want to wake up her neighbors in the duplex unit next door. So finally I gave up and just let her hug me. I admit, I am a really shut-down person and I hate to talk about personal things and hug people. Being with her can be awful for me. So much baggage. She was the WORST alcoholic when she was younger and her 2nd husband was a child molester and in general an asshole. I avoided her for a good 15 years of my adult life, but decided after her husband died to help her out and it has been just one thing after another. I helped her get out of credit card debt (still working on it), helped her sell her house and move into a safe apartment, have helped her with her stinky dog. I've sunk thousands of dollars and hours into "helping" her and -- you guessed it -- it NEVER seems like enough. Sheesh. How do you not lose your mind dealing with someone who has some sort of undiagnosed mental illness and is in cognitive decline anyway from old age and TIAs, etc. etc. etc. Help!