Does anybody else feel like they're being stalked by a loved one with Dementia?

LO? PWP?

Sorry LO - loved one. PWP - person with Parkinsons.

Anxiety is not uncommon as the patient loses functionality. The MD can prescribe appropriate anxiolytics that mix well with Parkinson's medication. It also helps the patient if you say what time you are leaving and what time you will return. Sneaking out only makes it worse.

I never sneak out, do not leave if my mom is napping. Wait for her to wake, which is most of the day. Notes don't work, she doesn't read them. I'm talking about going out the front door to have a couple drags on a politically incorrect cigarette (I hear her opening the door and answer immediately) and to see the sky.

She is afraid that you left. Just tell her you are going out for a smoke. You'll be on the porch. You'll be back in 5 minutes. As you would for a small child, because that's her functionality.

I didn't know that Parkinson's brought on dementia. My neighbor is at least 65 and has suffered from it for 10 years. He works daily on his cars and sometimes needs a little help.

Anyway, you are going to have to get some help. You can't do it alone. Your mother could actually live a long time. Can you do this for 20 years?

Maybe medical MJ, would do you both some good.

Chicago 1954 - dementia is a really common symptom of PD. The tremora are the least of of symptoms. Thanks for your support. My mom won't live another 20 years, she's 86, I'll be sixty soon and feel like 96. You're right , I do need help but the last year has really been downhill mentally for mom and I hate to get anybody in until really necessary so I'm holding off. This is all still very new to me. I understand my moms's needs and do act appropriately to address them. I am isolated and starting to get lonely, new feeling for me. What is medical MJ?

pstegman - I can tell my mom all day what I'm doing, leave a note, doesn't matter. Now I usually just smoke out my br window so I don't have to go out. It's really uncanny, the moment I make my 1 phone call a day to a girlfriend, she's in here to ask another ?.No peace, no privacy, all night long also. My mom is well cared for by a person who loves her and only has her best interests at heart. My life is on hold indefinitely and I don't mind. She tool care of 3 girls btw the ages of 13 -17 after my dad killed himself my sr year in hs. She's done well after that and I couldn't admire any woman more than her. I owe her everything.

People with Parkinson's have protein deposits in the brain that interfere with various physical functions. They are the same protein deposits that cause cognitive and behavioral problems for persons with Dementia with Lewy Bodies. (In fact, the person who discovered the deposits, F Lewy, was working on brain tissue from Parkinson's patients.) So, yes, it is very common for persons with Parkinson's to eventually develop dementia symptoms, and for person with Dementia with Lewy Bodies to develop Parkinson's symptoms.

ocdltd, if you would like more information about what to expect in the dementia components of your mother's disease, I recommend the Lewy Body Dementia Association's website.

And, yes, a person with any kind of dementia can seem like a stalker or like a child in need of their security object. It is maddening at times, but it is not something they can help, and in the overall scheme of things, it is probably not the worst symptom caregivers have to deal with.

It sounds like you are handling the stalking thing well. I wonder if you could help her feel more secure when you are out of her site? Could you say, "Mom, I'm going on the porch for a smoke. Please sit in the chair where you can see me, and knock on the window if the phone rings." Of course sometimes you plain have to be away. She will be anxious. That can't be helped. If anxiety is a frequent part of her disease, do discuss with her doctor medications that might help.

I cared for my husband with Lewy Body Dementia at home for ten years. I have few regrets, but if I had it to do over I would get more help and sooner. If you feel like you are 96, it is really necessary to get in-home help NOW. Holding off just isn't the best course of action, based on hindsight!

jeannegibbs, thank you. i am so aware of my mom's condition. stay up reading all night sometimes, I want to be able to view the world from HER perspective and understand what she is going through and her fears. Mostly deaf, no
STM, she's in her own little world. She doesn't know her own address, and is afraid of getting lost, I get it all. My job is to reassure her sense of security and make her feel safe at all times. We used to work together, she was a full charge bookkeeper and taught me after graduating from college with no skills. She was a very bright woman and I love to tell her she taught me everything and we can work together on her payables, just like we used to do. We're a team now.

If it is any encouragement, my husband became much less insecure as time went by. My mother now has dementia and stays with me one weekend a month. When she first started coming a year ago, I couldn't be out of her sight ten minutes before she would be hollering for me. Today she only did it twice. So let us hope that this is a symptom that decreases for your mother, too.

I hope you have a good specialist and that you are keeping him or her informed. This kind of dementia often responds better to drug therapy than some other kinds do.

I also urge you to think carefully about delaying getting some help. You don't know what the future holds, but you do know that having help now would improve your life.

Thank you Jeanne. I stay up at night for time alone but still mom comes in. The future will be long, you're right to say it's the unknown. Holding off on help for a while, checking resources constantly though and will be prepared. Mom has always been a worry-wart, not happy til she finds something to wring her hands over. She fixates, that's why I've called myself OCD Limited, she has the OCD. It's nothing new though, I've been around her almost sixty years and she isn't about to change, I have to. Love this woman to death but God she really can drive me nuts/