What stage of dementia is when they will not talk?

To yooperlove & Give a Hug: Both of you should love and cherish every minute you have left with your loved ones. I lost my husband when he was just 52 years old. The 15 years we had together were the best years of my life, (and his I'm told). .During those years, we had ONE argument! I know it sounds unreal, but it's true. What I wouldn't give to have just one more day with him!

My mother passed when I was only 17 years old, she was 57. I would sell my soul to have had a mother, that lived into her 80s and 90s. Whether she had all her facilities or not.

You people have been so lucky to have all the years you did have, when they were in their right frame of mind. How dare you complain, because all they do is watch TV, or embarrassed/humiliated you!

For three years I took care of a friends mother with dementia. I became very close to her. Yes, she assaulted me, punched, scratched (I have the scars). Being I lost my mother so young, I took it with a grain of salt.

She passed away December 2014, peacefully in her sleep at a nursing home. They were wonderful to her, but I felt guilty, because I felt as if I couldn't do it anymore. I wish I would have stuck it out.

From what I've read, some of you are going to be in the same shoes, your loved ones are in right now. Do you think your children will be able to handle it?

Don't give up so quickly ... I know it's hard, try to understand ... And make arrangements for yourselves, being some of you have family history, with this very illness.

Think about what I've said, please. God Bless all of you . . .

I believe your mother is in the end stages of her illness. A woman that I took care of for three years did the same thing. Didn't want to eat, drink, talk, get dressed, bathe ... you get the idea. My mother-in-law did the same thing. It's almost like they've given up. I'm sorry to say they both passed away a few months later.
I wish you peace during these hard times. God Bless . . .

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Mom mom died May 6, 2015. She had the same issues you discribe 3 days before. Sit beside her and keep her company and be there for her if she needs anything like sips of water or tissue or change of clothes. If there are any other family members nearby that visit her on a regular basis perhaps a visit might perk her up. God Bless! Keep us posted .

For those that are taking care of loved ones in their homes, there are answers out there. Look for help such as, day cares, day caregivers, VA benefits, etc. Work with a social worker. They are really good sources of information and can direct you in the right direction. My dad has never been in the hospital up until his heart attack 5 1/2 years ago at 2010. He is an Iwo Jima veteran, survived all 35 days on that horrible beach but I truly believe that taking care of my mom 24/7 did him in. Drs said he had clogged arteries.....yep, probably eating out 2 to 3 meals a day since my mom couldn't cook anymore and the stress he was under. I tried to help as much as I could to give him some relief but he needed more than that. I lived with her for 3 1/2 weeks while he was recovering and I honestly don't know how he didn't have one sooner. After I had to put her in a facility for him to fully recover I knew she could never come home. It's been hard but I worked with her dr. , a social worker and the VA to get benefits for her. While she worked she had taken out long term care insurance because she saw what nursing home expenses had done to her mom, my grandmother. Her insurance is up in 3 mos. Going to take a big hit after that. My dad's VA benefits will help but not that much. I know it's hard, expensive and there is guilt. But if you don't take care of yourself, your caregiving will take your health. Good Luck and God Bless all of you.

My 90 year old mom talked (although it was jibberish towards the end) till the day she died.....and when I was younger, she used to tell me that *I* talked too much....lol

I realize this question is from April of this year, but I had a comment about it.

I know that dementia patients can have some symptoms from various stages of the illness, but this particularly raises my curiosity. I have noticed that in the Memory Care Unit, where my cousin resides, there are more than several residents who have been there for at least a year in the same condition. They are wheelchair bound, they do not speak or look at anyone who speaks to them. They don't appear to even know where they are. Yet, they have survived since she went to live there and that was at about 9 months ago. How is this possible?

sunnygirl1...I can't say for sure, but I suspect that they aren't as bad off as they appear to be....more likely they are just heavily medicated.

I guess it's possible, but knowing this place, I find that pretty bizarre. Plus, it's the doctor who prescribes the medication and in this place, each resident has their own private doctor. The facility doesn't have one.

94 years old. How wonderful. I bet you have made many great memories over the years. God bless her. My mother died when she was 57 years old. She wasn't able to be present for her grandchildren's milestones. I watch mothers and daughters and can only wish we had more years together especially that my father is now suffering from dementia. When he thinks we have to pick her up from dialysis it really hits home. Be thankful for your mother and love her!!!

Re: stage when talking stops....Teepa Snow probably has a good answer for this. It's not necessarily the end because my MIL doesn't talk anymore but still eats good and is quite mobile with walking. When she stops eating I'll think the end is near. She has just forgotten her words indicating which part of the brain is deteriorating.
To the thread about losing everything and existing in poverty as a result of paying for the spouse's care. Yup, it sucks. But because you are poor does not mean you are nothing. Your quality of life will be to a big extent what you make of it. Try not to build yourself a living hell after your spouse departs. Go to church, make new friends whereever you are living, volunteer, be kind. You are not just only your money and your possessions.

pargirl, and I know this was a while back, but just hoping, what do you mean you mom's ltc insurance was going to be up? because since you said three months, that means it should be just about now that it has been

I would also like to know why the insurance is up. Is it that she has been there for years? I know long term care policies you cover you for some many years than stop. Isn't there like a 30,000 or something co-payment also before it kicks in?

ooh, 126Cher, I'd not ever heard of that; I, too, would like to find out more about that; maybe we should just do some checking into it - will say (had almost forgotten about this; hope I still have the info) there is a company that will buy your term life insurance policy and convert it to LTC

Hi debdaughter, I think the company you are thinking of buys whole life policies not term and converts them into LTC. Term policies don't have any cash value while whole life does. I may be wrong but that is my thinking. I have heard of that also. Think there is a rider on whole life policies that you can buy. Thanks so much for reminding me.

yes, I'm aware of the "whole" wholel life thing but no, pretty sure this is term, since turns out that's all I have - if I even have that anymore, which don't actually think I do - think everything got all mixed up when our terms ran out and then hub couldn't get anymore - long story - just trying to get our situation straighted out