I just lost it with my husband. To be honest, I'm still mad, but I feel really bad. I've managed to remain calm for quite a while no matter how bizarre his behavior has been. He has stage 6 dementia (we thought it was Lewy Body Dementia, but just recently had it confirmed as Alzheimer's). I've been his full-time caregiver for 3-1/2 years now - plus I work full-time to support us - but am blessed to work from home two days a week and drop him off at a dementia day care on M-W-F on my way to and from work.
O.K., so here's what happened. We were watching TV together for a couple of hours. He got up and I really didn't pay any attention as I thought he was maybe headed to the bathroom. He's urine incontinent and wears depends 24/7, but he still goes through the motions. Anyway, I looked up to see where he was and he was in the kitchen standing next to the trash can. I thought maybe he was peeling an orange - but when I walked over to see if he needed help, he had his depends and bottoms pulled down and was peeing in the trash can! The trash can was sort of full, so It got all over the floor, the side of the counter, himself, etc., etc., etc. This was my first experience with this and it caught me off guard, so I didn't react well. We have two bathrooms downstairs that are just as close as the kitchen, so it wasn't a matter that he couldn't make it to the bathroom. The kitchen is where I prepare food and we eat!!!!
Even with stage 6 Alzheimer's, could he really not know any better? Maybe I'm in denial about how far gone he is. Believe me, I know it's bad because he needs help with just about everything - but to pee in the kitchen when the bathroom, which he's gone to hundreds of times, was just as close is beside me. I know he'll forget my rant, but that doesn't make me feel better about getting upset and raising my voice with him.
There are times when he 'cops a feel' or teases - and I really wonder if he's as bad as he acts all the time - or if it's to get more attention and service from me. I honestly don't think his reasoning or comprehension is intact, because he can't follow simple commands - but you never know. I just need to get a grip, realize he won't remember and let it go.