My mother doesn’t let my father finish the medications his doctor prescribed and is now taking her out of rehab. What can I do to help him?

It depends upon the reason! What reason does she give? Is there a logical reason for her doing this? Are the medications making him worse/ill/angry? Since she lives with him, perhaps she is seeing something which is making her try to protect him. Does the rehab help or wear him out? What does your Dad have to say about this? Is your Mom overwhelmed with having to take him to rehab and/or get him to take his meds? Is he making the situation easy or being difficult about it?

I helped my Mother switch doctors because her doc would give her BP meds which made her very ill: tongue swelling, dementia, hives, leg swelling etc. He believed the symptoms requiring the ER but when she complained she wasn't feeling well, he thought it was "in her head" and that she should continue on medication that made her extremely nauseous, restless, and dizzy. I finally found a doctor, who actually heard my mother. He found medication that worked for her. Could this be the case here?

Or is your Mother being illogical - and the rehab and meds were working? Maybe she likes having him depend more on her? The doctor is not able to tell you about your Dad's condition without your Dad's permission. However, you can call the doctor and talk to him/her about what you see is going on...

Hope this helps somewhat! Hang in there!

When my Mom was in rehab, the doc prescribed a pain med that made her hallucinate. Then, he promptly declared that she had Alzheimers. I took him aside and told him that if my Mom had Alz., then so did the both of us. Her mind is as sharp as a tack, and because he over did the pain Rx, he was trying to pass off her reaction to the meds as Dementia. Incredible!!
Could it be that your Mother is seeing something odd at the rehab? A change in behavior? or neglect?
You need to be such a vigilant advocate whenever a family member enters a facility - even a hospital!!
good luck
Lilli

Are there ways to find out if or what my dad is taking? I am a long distance care giver and am only hearing that mom is tired and she has had three weeks of going back and forth to the rehab facility. (only spending 4-5 hours there a day). It sounds more like mom is lonely. She does say that dad has lost 32 pounds in the last 3 weeks. But I think that may just be all the fluid from his untreated heart failure has finally come off. He is now being treated for that which includes diet changes right???

Yes, absolutely. Do you have your Dad's medical PoA? If not, your Mom can put you on the list of people who can discuss your father's care.
Losing 32lbs in a few weeks seems extreme. He may not be eating right or eating enough.
Has your Mom told why she wants to remove your Dad from rehab? She may have legitimate concerns or possibly just misses him at home....you need to find out. Also, talk with his docs and have a list of very specific questions and write down the answers. If his condition worsens, it may be time to take a trip to see them and assess the situation for yourself.
Are they able to move to a facility near you? It is so hard to try and advocate for your parents long distance. Doctors are more vigilant if they know someone is looking out for a patient.
good luck...let us know what you find out.
Lilli