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My 84 yo father has a lot of debt acquired over the last 5 years (early dementia). Debt is on card under his name. Is my mom liable?

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Your mother is liable. Why does your dad have a credit card if he has been diagnosed with dementia? That should be your first move is to remove all credit cards.
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If they are married, then probably she is. I think consultation with an attorney would give you some ideas on how to handle this. It's possible to declare bankruptcy and wipe out the debt. I doubt at the age of your Dad there is a lot of concern over keeping a good credit rating for future purchases. Some places will use whatever tactic they can to get their money so you have to be on your toes.
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Along the same line - an old friend just before he died, bought and charged a great amount of jewelry for his long time girl friend. This long relationship was known by his wife. Is the wife responsible for his credit card charges. Jewelry will not be returned, not proved who received it.
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I was told that she would be liable if her name is on it, or it is a community property state. I live in Texas and our lawyer told us since dad's debt was all on credit cards just to stop paying instead of going through bankruptcy. They cannot garnish social security, and in Texas they cannot attack your home. So therefore, my dad is judgement proof. But they can hound you to death. The lawyer suggested changing phone numbers. Also if you have medicaid or need to be eligible for medcaid, if the companies write off the debt you will receive it as income you have to file, but there is such a thing for medicaid called hardship, I really don't remember exactly. Hope this helps.
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One thing you need to consider, if when he dies, and there will be any inheritances or life insurance, all of this debt could hold up in Probate, please have your lawyer check into that, will your mom need insurance money when your dad passes?
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My mother-in-law to be has alzheimer's and it is getting progressively worse. She is 86 years old. She has debt from rebuilding her home after Katrina and I was wondering if that debt is passed down to her son, who will inherit house. There is not much else to the estate. Would love to know how this works.
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The lawyer told me, but I am in Texas, that when my parents pass the estate will either have to declare bankruptcy or sell the house to pay debts.
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His estate will be liable, but insurance and jointly held property are Not part of the estate. Look at it this way, the only things that are part of the estate are pieces of property (cars, bank accounts, houses) that you must go to court (probate) to have transferred from one name to another. If the property is jointly held, you don't have to go to probate to transfer.
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Individual credit card and the owner is single: upon the owners death, the executer or executrix can SETTLE FOR A MUCH SMALLER AMOUNT WITH THE CREDIT CARD CARRIER. I dont know what the percentage allowance is but there is a percentage amount they commonly work with.
I am a stock broker and have many widows that have deceased and no one that I know of pays the Entire Amount. Again its because there is no joint ownership..
Joint account credit cards I do not have experience.
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