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I'm self employed as a real estate agent and there is not a lot of time to commit to my job as I spend a lot of time helping my Grandma. Drowning in bills and no income to pay them. Not sure what to do as she would not do well in a nursing home and doesn't have a lot of money herself.

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Eks, the vast majority of us do not get paid to care for our parent/grandparent.... unless that parent/grandparent can pay us from their own retirement fund. If yes, then one would need to draw up an employment contract.

I know with your job, you need to meet up with clients all days of the week and any time they need your help. You work all the holidays, evenings, and can spend a month of Sundays with a client who decides at the last minute they won't want to move. You get zero income for all that work. So I can fully understand how tough this is for you income wise, plus all the expenses incurred by real estate agents.

May I ask why you were chosen to be Grandmother's caregiver? Where are her children or have they all passed on? What are Grandmother's health issues, and how old is she?

How do you know that Grandmother wouldn't do well in a nursing home? There she would have a village taking care of her. She would be around people closer to her own age group which I feel is so very important for an elder's self being.

Does Grandmother own a house? She could sell it and use the equity to be in Assisted Living. The newer places are more like hotels :)

Otherwise Grandmother could apply for Medicaid [which is different than Medicare] and Medicaid would pay for her room/board and care.

You really need to get back to your career. It's only fair. Or before too long you could crash and burn from the stress. Then what?
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I was a nurse for 17+ years so I have the knowledge for one. I have always taken care of her as an adult as she and my Grandpa, who is now gone, took care of me. I grew up with them. My Mom is "different" and she does do her laundry and occasionally take her to store, but she seems to spend more time and energy on her husband, which is a whole other story. She makes it seem like a burden and a bother, which upsets my Grandma. Her 3 sons are not of much use and they all assume I take care of her anyway. Good thing I do, or she wouldn't be here. My Grandma is 89 y/o and has macular degeneration so she can't see to do a lot of her ADL's and recently her memory is lacking so she wasn't taking her meds correctly despite my having them set up for her, so I found it best just to give them to her personally, that way I know she had them correctly. She was forgetting to take her regular meds and overdoing her pain meds which was not helping with her energy and ability to do anything. She was in a nursing home before after knee surgery (same one as my Grandpa at the time) and she didn't like it. She's too independent and used to living on her own. I know she wouldn't last a week, as I've known her my whole life. I will continue to take the best care of her no matter what, but it would be nice to get financial help.
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Was her husband a veteran? She could possibly get assistance from the veterans if her spouse served during war time.
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Sounds like the rest of the family is taking advantage of you -- your mother and your three uncles. I'm sure they are quite happy to keep things the way they are, which is that YOU bear the brunt of the caregiving and financial support for your grandmother.

Have you asked them for financial help? Do they know that you are "drowning in bills and no income to pay them"?
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