I will soon be a widow with no family or potential caregiver in case I get sick. What are my options?

Whoa there lady of 63! Stop being a pessimist and thinking you are in decline. I am going to be 65 in Nov. and just bought a house with a mtg. of 30 yrs. No, I don't plan on living that long, however, before I bought our home I checked out independent living first because my husband has dementia, and given our age difference of 22 yrs. I expect to outlive him. But, when I saw the cost of a gated, locked area on the same property, it was over $5000 per month. I cannot afford that, and since I am a nurse it was cheaper to buy a house and call for outside help when or if the time comes. The same will happen if I need help. With your house paid off, it will be less expensive to stay there and have live-in care, if you need it. But, if you are in good health, don't dwell on the "what ifs" life will deal you. Live for today, and tomorrow will come soon enough. We have now been in our home for one month, and I have met more single ladies on my street, and they manage very well. One of them is 89, and doing great. So, don't think negative because that in itself will generate negative effects on your health. Live each day as though it were your last, and make every day count. Get some people with whom you can adopt as your "family". There are lots of us without family and most of us prefer friends to family. You are not alone in this world, and there are many resources you can find to help. Don't give up that house. You'll wish you had it if you moved to independent living...

I can't believe at 63 you'd put yourself out of your paid home into a paid independent living center. You are living now independently! Get a will done, get a DPOA, POA done, if you have nobody close, get a lawyer. Put in writing what you want done when and if you need assistance, if you have to go to the hospital etc. Pay your bills direct debit, if you fear hospitalization. Hire someone to check on the house, take in the mail, cut the grass during that time. Get a home care nurse to help you should you require convalescence at home, someone to bring you meals, I think meals on wheels would do this for someone your age if sick. Prepare for yourself, then go on a freaking cruise you are making yourself worry over something that may or may not happen. Enjoy your life now and please stop being in a catastrophic mode of thought.

One additional thought, if your home is paid for, why not bring in a roommate once your husband passes, some additional income, someone to visit with, etc. Start your own version of Golden Girls.

Joanne,
It's not pessimistic to think about your future, it's realistic! Knowing you will be alone soon, you NEED to be as prepared as possible. After dealing with your husband's terminal illness & everything that follows, you will need the peace of mind it will give you. But, I agree you should keep your paid for house.
It's great you're in good health & have some resources. If you have no family/heirs that you want to leave your paid for home to, you could get a reverse mortgage. This would give you additional income. Could you consider sharing your home with other women? Being in a very similar situation, I plan to stay in MY paid for home & (while I 'm still healthy), seek out & cultivate friendships with other women. Women in similar situations could be good housemates, sharing expenses, housework, etc.

Have you considered getting a job, either part-time or full-time after your husband passes? You say you are healthy, and working would give you some extra money to put away, and also give you something to do. It would also help you to meet people. Sitting at home alone waiting to become infirm doesn't sound fun or healthy. I see lots of retirement age people working at the grocery store, the dairy queen, and other places. How about your local library? You could start as a volunteer somewhere, and move on from there.

Joanne, remember if you move into one of these communities you will eliminate many expenses that you currently have. For example, utilities for your home (electricity, gas, water, trash pick up), property taxes, home owners insurance, etc. some facilities offer 3 meals to the independent residents also.

If you have long term care insurance, they will assume the expense once you require the additional help of the assisted living.

I agree with Madeaa. I'm also 63 and am just getting started! My dad died at 92 and my mom is still going strong (well kinda strong) at 93, so I figure I'll be around for a while unless I get hit by a beer truck. :) Some of my friends are talking about senior living facilities and when I think of where my mom lives (in independent living) there's no way in h*ll I want to live anywhere like that for a long, long, long time. I'm just hitting my stride!

So like Ferris says, stop expecting doom and gloom and live for a while! Once you hit 80 or 90, you can start to worry about what to do. Of course have your DPOAs all set up and your will, etc. But live! We only get one shot at this and sitting around waiting for our own infirmity isn't what we should be doing!

You are very young, but given your concerns, you're smart to plan well ahead. What I would do in your situation is protect myself as best as possible from the toll dementia might take on my judgement. Adult kids (while certainly not always a safeguard against bad decision-making) can sometimes see signs and prevent financial calamity. Designate an adult child 'substitute' (a trusted friend's child, or your lawyer or investment advisor) and have a regular review of your finances.
As for housing, I'm all for unloading the burden of the house. I realize some people are very invested emotionally in their house, but for me, I plan to downsize as early as possible once my kids are no longer needing the benefits of the family house.
For a younger person, a CCRC makes sense. You'll be there long enough to reap the benefits and you're young enough that you can buy in at the 'no refund' (much cheaper) rate. I'd put the rest of the money from the sale of my house into an annuity; one that's hard to get out of, so I'd have monthly income and I'd be protected from any bad decisions I could make in the future if my money were just sitting in a 401K for me to pillage at will.
If you don't mind moving (I hate it), you could first move to a 55+ community. However, shop around. You might find that some of the CCRC's are pretty youthful. Plus, let's face it, after age 60 or so, anything can happen and we can't count on bouncing back the way we once could. The ultimate insurance is living somewhere there is help always available.

Look into long term care insurance that allows you to stay at home or helps with a facility should you need it. The longer you wait the more expensive it will be. I am 61 and looking in to a plan that will allow $4000/month in home or facility for about 4 years if I use the max from the beginning, longer if I don't need as much. My premium will be $211/month because of "my build". I am quite overweight but otherwise healthy. If my weight was not a facto I would only pay $150/month. The income from LTC along with my pension should help me live comfortably and not burden my only child. Right now we take care of my mother who did not have LTC and it can be very challenging. I have four sibs who are wonderful and we are working things. Please stay in your home and get LTC for a distant future need.

Here's an article from Consumer Reports about how to buy long-term care insurance smartly: http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/2012/08/long-term-care-insurance/index.htm