Is there anything to settle my mum with dementia at night? I'm about to have a breakdown.

I don't know if this would help, but ask yourself what YOU will want if it's you living with your kids, bothering them all night long, and keeping them from being healthy & happy adults who can function, driving them to insanity. All we can do is our best with today's tools and information.

Give yourself permission to act in their best interest- and yours- guilt-free.
Maybe this behavior is a sign-post that a change is needed. Nothing on this journey stays the same for long.

I swore I'd never put my kids in daycare before I had kids. People who used daycare couldn't possibly love their child. Daycare was evil and everyone who worked at a daycare hated children. (I had some really bad experiences as a child in daycare.) But, when I really had that baby and really had to go to work to pay the bills, I had to re-evaluate my thinking and find solutions. I had to let myself out of that corner and be open to looking at daycare centers, daycare in homes, a nanny/au-pair, etc. Eventually I found a good option to start which evolved into other things over time until we no longer needed a care option. It was good for me, and it was good for my child to be around others, do things I wouldn't have thought of, have experiences separate from me. It was good for me to get a break from the endless diapers, barf, washing & cleaning, & behavior management. I should mention this first child is ADHD/Asperger's and this was before we knew those diagnosis, so he was a VERY difficult baby. I thought I was in a government test of human endurance and I was failing fast. I think that experience taught me a lot that I'm reusing with my mom & her care. I had to give myself permission to be flexible, be on the lookout for changes, and be ready to respond to the change. I also had to give up what I had built in my mind as the perfect experience because it wasn't going to happen. Once I let myself be open, I ended up finding the most wonderful lady starting her daycare at home, who needed a first baby. Hello! We needed each other!

Look at the pros & cons of different respite options, including the ability for you to have some rest & recovery time - WITHOUT GUILT. There are no bonus points for killing yourself in the process of doing this. There's a reason people work in shifts at care facilities. No human being can do this 24/7/365, and they get paid for it! What makes us different that we're supposed to do this work without a break? Nothing.