You would need to set up an appointment at the County Probate Office immediately to do the necessary paperwork. It will be up to the County to decide who gets what. You will need to list all of the assets that the parent had as of the date of death. The Probate Office will guide you.
The sibling who spending the parent's money, may find herself needing to give that money back until after the Probate is finished, which can take months.
Usually for intestate deaths (no valid will so probate cannot be easily opened with executor appointed), all assets "escheat" to the state. So family will need to establish lineal heirship to have assets distributed as per your state laws. Whatever system your state has for intestate deaths will likely need an atty. it will not be a DIY project.
FF is spot on in advice to contact probate court as your first resource.
? For you?..... The $ that your sibling is spending from your deceased parents account just how are they able to do this? Once someone dies, SSA finds out in very short period of time so that income source stops (& SS payments can be clawed back too); plus the banks know also and their accounts are frozen. Ditto for any retirements or brokerage accounts. If this is $ from an insurance policy, you have to be the beneficiary to get paid. So if sibling is spending $ either they are commiting fraud OR are doing this from the banking being POD to them or they were co-owners on the account or they were the named beneficiary. Or things were in a trust, so the death makes no difference & the trustee just keeps on doing as before. Trust is still in play. Pls pause to think just how "ownership" & assets were done. If accounts & assets were POD, co-owned, in a trust, etc well that $ is their $ to spend as they want. Maybe Mom expected Sissy to use the $ to pay for her funeral / mortgage / taxes / share, whatever's but Sissy flat doesn't have to. Not nice, but totally on Sissy to do as she wants too.
Btw if you end up doing lineal heirship, all the details on your parents marriages, divorces, kids, etc all must be presented. Notices placed wherever the deceased has assets. At least 6 mos just for notifications. It can get quite convoluted with the possbiloty of more heirs surfacing.
The sibling who spending the parent's money, may find herself needing to give that money back until after the Probate is finished, which can take months.
FF is spot on in advice to contact probate court as your first resource.
? For you?..... The $ that your sibling is spending from your deceased parents account just how are they able to do this? Once someone dies, SSA finds out in very short period of time so that income source stops (& SS payments can be clawed back too); plus the banks know also and their accounts are frozen. Ditto for any retirements or brokerage accounts. If this is $ from an insurance policy, you have to be the beneficiary to get paid. So if sibling is spending $ either they are commiting fraud OR are doing this from the banking being POD to them or they were co-owners on the account or they were the named beneficiary. Or things were in a trust, so the death makes no difference & the trustee just keeps on doing as before. Trust is still in play. Pls pause to think just how "ownership" & assets were done. If accounts & assets were POD, co-owned, in a trust, etc well that $ is their $ to spend as they want. Maybe Mom expected Sissy to use the $ to pay for her funeral / mortgage / taxes / share, whatever's but Sissy flat doesn't have to. Not nice, but totally on Sissy to do as she wants too.
Btw if you end up doing lineal heirship, all the details on your parents marriages, divorces, kids, etc all must be presented. Notices placed wherever the deceased has assets. At least 6 mos just for notifications. It can get quite convoluted with the possbiloty of more heirs surfacing.