My father died a day ago and I was looking for answers to something and I came across this post and I wanted to share the things I have experienced over the last several months caring for him in home.
I noticed his eyes changing at the onset of hospice nearly a year ago, eyes went from blue to dull grey, never returned to blue. At time of death, nearly the same, no clouding etc.
The odor mentioned in another post: There has been a persistent odor, not foul, but not pleasant either and it was not from cleaning agents or clothing. It smells like oily skin but much much stronger if that makes sense.
More obvious and usual: loss of and waning appetite. A surprising one for me, lessened pain without need of medications some days. Bursts of razor sharp mental clarity also, as if the mind has disregarded the last months of sickness and needs to discuss things of 'more importance' like finances , people etc. These were few and far between and didn't last very long but were welcomed.
Another thing not mentioned; radiating fever days before he died. He spiked a random fever of 103 and you could feel the heat coming from above his body if you held your arm and hand over him as I did, I have never experienced that and was really freaked out by it, but I now know that was probably the beginning of the onset of final death. He also suffered ice cold legs and feet during this fever, which was even more strange.
I was told by a hospice care worker that the hearing is the last thing to go when someone dies, so if you are there just assure them until some time has passed that you love them and its ok. I was given the gift of being there at the end for my dad and holding his hand throughout. It is something I will cherish and may we all be so lucky in the end.
I hope any of this helps someone. I know there is a drive to understand things, and we don't normally discuss these things with those we know , but its good to share them here so some can find them.
I had my Dad in Hospice and the hospice nurses know all the signs to look for. I never heard them say anything about the eyes, but they talked about how the nail beds go all white when death is imminent. That is why they don't want you to have nail polish on during surgery. I guess it indicates a lack of oxygen. Yes, my dad passed on the night they told me his nail beds were changing. I was so lucky with him. He was in hospice, but he wasn't in any pain until his last three days. He asked for pain meds. They gave him morphine and he was gone in three days. He was totally clear minded until the last two days. He didn't have AD. He had cancer. And he was a wonderful man!
What this sounds like is fixed and dilated pupils, however, the surest way to tell if death is imminent is to listen for bowel sounds through a stethoscope. No sounds, no activity, death follows. My girlfriend had the smoothest skin in her final hours even though she was 74, but I listened to her bowel sounds and there weren't any. Sure enough I went back the next day and she had passed away. Patients who are about to die may give off a strange odor too. Hope this helps.
My mother did the same thing before she passed away. She had been admitted to the hospital in a semi-conscious state after years of cancer, diabetes, etc. She seemed to know who was with her but didn't really respond. Then her eyes got cloudy and she just stared like she was looking at something intently. She was dead 3 hours later.
When I saw thi question in my email queue, I had an immediate strong reaction. My mother-in-law's eyes developed a far-away gaze just a few days before she passed. Along with the change in the look inher eyes, her demeanor became more calm. I recognized that something was definitely different, and called hospice in, though they really didn't have to do much for her. She was not in pain, just went quietly to sleep the evening after hospice aid came in and helped get her all washed up, with shampoo and clean nighty and into the bed hospice provided, and didn't wake back up. Very peaceful.
Hi Sharjo - both my parents who passed aways recently had the same look in their eyes - it's a glazed look. It was my daughter (a nurse) who told me her Grandad didn't have long as she could tell by his eyes and he passed away that night. At first I didn't know what she meant, then 6 months later my mother had that same "look in her eyes" and she passed away the next day. I do hope things go ok for you and your mother - God bless you both.
Strange when my cat died the vet said she was in shock. He could tell by her gums. I was clueless but knew she would die because she had been crushed by the garage door. I took her to the vet to put her down. I didn't want my old buddy of 18 years to suffer. Love is the same for all, animals of family. Love is LOVE!
The vet could tell your cat was in shock because her gums were pale and knew she had been crushed by the garage door so was probably bleeding internally. you did the right thing by your cat but now should put one of those devices on the garage door that prevent it closing it anything or anyone is in the way
My 14yr old lab/dane, Sara, is dying. I think she will gone within 2-3 days. She's lost ability to walk, she lethargic, only eats and drink when i handfeed her. My other dog, a tiny chihuahua, wont leave her side. He's even snapping/biting at us when we approach my sick girl. Her eyes changed 2 days ago-they are sunk in, yellow-y, hazy, and she is very tired. very. i will take her to be put to sleep soon. She's the best friend Ive ever had and am making her last days as pleasant as possible. Lots of treats, good meaty food. And my lil guy, watches over her nonstop. She and he became very bonded in the last few months. He is going to miss her horribly and i hope we can grieve together, when its her time. Her eyes say she's tired and wants to rest peacefully, soon :(
I noticed his eyes changing at the onset of hospice nearly a year ago, eyes went from blue to dull grey, never returned to blue. At time of death, nearly the same, no clouding etc.
The odor mentioned in another post: There has been a persistent odor, not foul, but not pleasant either and it was not from cleaning agents or clothing. It smells like oily skin but much much stronger if that makes sense.
More obvious and usual: loss of and waning appetite. A surprising one for me, lessened pain without need of medications some days. Bursts of razor sharp mental clarity also, as if the mind has disregarded the last months of sickness and needs to discuss things of 'more importance' like finances , people etc. These were few and far between and didn't last very long but were welcomed.
Another thing not mentioned; radiating fever days before he died. He spiked a random fever of 103 and you could feel the heat coming from above his body if you held your arm and hand over him as I did, I have never experienced that and was really freaked out by it, but I now know that was probably the beginning of the onset of final death. He also suffered ice cold legs and feet during this fever, which was even more strange.
I was told by a hospice care worker that the hearing is the last thing to go when someone dies, so if you are there just assure them until some time has passed that you love them and its ok. I was given the gift of being there at the end for my dad and holding his hand throughout. It is something I will cherish and may we all be so lucky in the end.
I hope any of this helps someone. I know there is a drive to understand things, and we don't normally discuss these things with those we know , but its good to share them here so some can find them.
My sympathies to you and your mom. Hang in there as best you can.
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