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Mom is in a memory care unit in a NH. She's much higher cognitively functioning (converses, has some good short term memory, etc) than the other residents, but has been diagnosed with cognitive neurological disorder with behavior disturbance and unspecified dementia. It's been rough on her, and me, because the other residents are much more involved than Mom and they literally stand in front of her and jabber, grab at her and offer her dirt from the floor, but now a new problem has arrived. Yesterday, we found another resident in her bed, which has happened a number of times, at least 3. Today, someone went into her room and opened all her drawers and closet and messed up her stuff. I don't know if anything was stolen, but nothing of monetary value was there. She's very shaken between the strangers in her bed and the "robbery". She's paranoid to begin with and has continually insisted on being moved "somewhere else". She ended up in memory care because she has escape behaviors and strong delusions severe enough to land her in a psychiatric hospital for 10 days. She was placed in memory care for her safety and security, as well as less stimulation and lower resident number. The other residents do not understand, nor can be reasoned with. She keeps her semi-private room door shut, but that hasn't stopped this from happening. Any advice to help with the situation?

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I'm sorry you and your mom are going through - dementia is a d*mn awful thing and memory care facilities can be scary places

My mom is still very chatty at nearly 94 and the other memory care residents drive her crazy

When my mom was still walking she oftentimes wandered into the nearest room to use the bathroom and once opened a closet put on a nightgown and went to bed in another's room while they were in the hospital

Now that she's parked in a wheelchair - she fell and hurt her ankle before the holidays - she's not as mobile

For awhile, the men in the room across the hall would come into her room and take off their clothes or grab her

Now her vision impaired roommate wanders during the night and is getting into her bed - I bought mom her own full size bed - the roomie even peed on her comforter and last night was arguing with me when I asked her to get up and go back to her own bed

Things disappear all the time even if labeled - residents take things and laundry room doesn't always return things

So you have to learn a new level of patience and pick and choose your fights

You may want to see about having a private caregiver visit your mom for a few hours a week just to help her feel more comfortable
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If you look at it as becoming part of the community instead of having rigid property boundaries, it gets much easier. We went with the flow. I knew that someday it would be mthr's turn to not know what room she was in when she fell asleep. It's happened.

When mthr was being paranoid about someone leaving her drawers open, I told her that the bug man had visited and left everything open to get the bugs out. It worked. I put her name on things that she would want back and the staff brings things back when they notice.

I've lost some special things at the home -my fault for leaving anything of value. All photos, cards, letters need to be copied before being taken. They will get ruined by someone - mthr or a resident.

Mthr has lived there in Memory Care for 5 years and at first she was offended by those who offered her dirt off the floor or jabbering, but now she's not really verbal. It's the safest place for her, and most stable with so few people. If your mom is not "there" yet, she will be soon, so stick to it and encourage her to relax her standards too. It's not a hotel.
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Thank you all for your help and ideas. The care meeting went well, and while they were open to having child proof locks on her drawers, they also said they knew some of the residents were able to get through them! I'll get them anyway. And i'll relax more about the whole thing. I'm realizing that once I take care of one issue, 2 more will pop up. It's been that way since mom came to live near me from across the country, and maybe i'll figure out how to roll with the flow. Mom would be suspicious of a private caregiver, and we had Visiting Angels in IL, but she's refused that now. Again, thanks for your help and encouragement!
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When I worked as a CNA, there was a resident who had childproof locks on her drawers..would the facility allow that, but then your mother would not be able to get into her drawers..
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I will suggest that tomorrow at the care meeting. Thanks.
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