I have been the sole caregiver for my Mom for the past few years. Yesterday, she passed away. Where and how do I begin?

i sure understand the empty house. i blew out of my moms empty house in a matter of hours and came home to start rebuilding my construction equiptment and my life. id suggest start putting back together all the things in your life that have been neglected. nurture the relationships in your life that matter and never look back on the ones that didnt stand the test of caregiving. some people are self centered and not worth investing in.

Thank you all so much for your caring and comments. They have all been very helpful. I am finding myself really busy with all of the "details". Phone calls and papers to be signed. It seems endless. I am trying to donate things to the appropriate agencies. I did one of the things I promised my Mother. I got a haircut yesterday, and came home and told her about it. I hope that does not sound insane. I talk to her all the time. I am hoping this is normal behavior.

Joyce, I am so sorry for your loss. It will be quite difficult to get going again, as I know it will be for me. But if I want to be late coming back after she passes, I can. If I don't want to fix dinner I don't have to. I won't have to listen to a too loud tv, I can just turn it off if I want to. It is time for you to start doing what you want to do. This job is all consuming and a life altering event when the one we care for passes. It is one baby step at a time. Take your time and do the things you want to do.

I'm so sorry for your loss! Please be good to yourself and don't make any big decisions (selling the house, moving, spending large amounts of money) in the next few months. Find a bereavement group to join--some funeral homes, churches, synagogues and hospitals have them. Take baby steps back toward a life that you craft. My very best to you.

I'm so sorry about the loss of your mom.

Take care of the things you need to be taking care of now. Arrangements, informing family and friends, etc. Get through all of that. Then be alone in the house for a little while. Feel it. Grieve for your mom. Do this until you're ready to rebuild your life without your mom being at the center. Have dinner with friends. Spend time with family. Go shopping. Read a book.

My dad died 10 months ago and it still hurts. But I've made a life without him. What other choice do we have?

Again, my condolences.

Yup. Very normal. And comforting.

I am very sorry for your loss, after caring for family members recently and my father soon to move in I can feel your discomfort. After my sister in law passed I was the main financial person to handle all the details along with her brother in a nursing home. Dealing with all the issues was busy, after it was all done I felt a huge hole and did somewhat go into a depression for a short time. I just lost my mom and am cleaning out my parents house now. Try not to take it all in at once. Do a small thing one time a day, big jobs can wait, I am taking cleaning my parents house slowly while my dad is there. My sister wanted to swoop in and clean out quickly. She did it at first and it has caused a bit of discomfort. Take the time that is good for you and depending if there is a time factor that you may have to clean out. Don't be so quick to clear it all out at once. Take some time for yourself to reflect. After my moms funeral and all the papers were done there was more to do. I took a bit of time of to clear my head, talk to mom (I still do). Afterward you can be more clear about what you need to do.

The care giver role is no easy street.
What everyone else said....

And DJ, I am sorry about your loss. Everyone has their own way of grieving. You'll do a lot of deep thinking and you'll plan. One day at a time.

i only spoke to my deceased mom once. she told me to shut the h*** up and get a gear ordered for the spare mortar mixer. she always was pretty practical.
thanks mom..