Why am I so tired and yet I can't sleep?

I read the daily email updates but never login. Tonight I thought I'd throw in my 2 cents. I am a lifelong insomniac (I am 40). However, once I took mom in my sleeplessness became a severe problem because I can never 'make up' sleep anymore on weekends. I'm also getting older and had to find a way to sleep. About 2 yrs ago I started trying ASMR vids on youtube. They have saved my life. Not every person has the receptors for it but it work for me. Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response stimulates the feel good sensors in the brain. In a calming way...it makes a lot of people fall asleep like a child does...boneless and with a sense of safety. There are various sounds that people use...for me I hate the whispering sounds those aggravate me, but I love the sounds of dogs chewing bones, cats bathing themselves, artists sketching, or newspaper pages turning. I have since assembled my lwn collection of vids that I setup to autoplay each night for 4- 5 hrs at least. I calm down, my anxiety level drops and I sleep. Medicine free...I occasionally add tart cherry juice or sleepytime extra (with valerian) tea to my nighttime routine but usually the sounds are enough. I would advise against Ambien if you have to wake nightly for mom. Some may not feel it is addictive...but I have known several people who took it...they have never stopped even after years. Either way I hope you find something that works for you.

I would also like to comment about Ambien. My MIL has taken it for about 5 years now (she is 86), and she has had nightmares (some pretty vivid and scary). She also wakes up after about 4 hours and can't get back to sleep, but she won't give it up because she says at least it helps her get to sleep. She doesn't believe that the nightmares are from the Ambien. I can't make her not take them anymore and my husband thinks as long as she is o.k., then why change it. I would not recommend giving Ambien to anyone.

Benedryl winds you up?? If I take one of those I'm out for the night and half the next day LOL. I take melatonin, that helps me to sleep and I don't get that foggy headed thing in the morning. I've also heard that cherry juice (I know, it sounds kind of gross has melatonin in it and is supposed to help people unwind and get to sleep. So does milk of course. There was one over the counter natural sleep aid that I was taking called MidNight. That works pretty well for me and my Mom. Also, I've tried the thing where you lay in bed and tell yourself you have to stay awake and focus on something. That puts me to sleep as well. Good luck & sweet dreams!!

Have you tried tart cherry juice? It has a natural ingredient in it that relaxes you. Also there is melatonin. How about the method of tensing and relaxing each muscle group slowly starting at your feet and working your way up.

I personally would avoid ambien. I've heard that people sleep walk when they take it and it is also addictive.

I know what it is like to have trouble sleeping. In my case I can't turn my mind off at night. Anxious thoughts running through my mind. I like to read before I go to bed. It winds me down for the night. GoodLuck!

Yes, benadryl does give some people an extreme, almost amphetamine-like speed rush, heart palpitations and accelerated heart beat, etc, Others get knocked-out right away. Strange the same drug could have such opposite effects, but that it does! You can't sleep because you are so tired and have probably gone so long without good REM sleep that your system can't adapt and shut down for good sleep. You will probably need to make major changes in your lifestyle and eliminate or at least control the stress in your life. As you know, caregiving makes that almost impossible, so you're probably going to have to use a medication, and be forewarned - you will become dependent upon it, you won't be able to sleep without it, and it will be hell getting off of it. Been there, done that.

Yeah zookeeper you are probably right but I would exhaust all natural possibilities before going to prescribed medication cause they are addictive.

I suffer from insomnia and night terrors (so bad that sometimes I faint). I've tried all the medications, and found that none worked. My solution has been listening to guided meditations as I fall asleep, and sounds of water, or waves while I am asleep. You can go to youtube and search for guided meditations. I find that TheHonestGuys have the best ones.

Angel

glasshalffull, I wonder if you can't sleep because you are staying with your mother to help her being she is 90.... are you sleeping with one eye open?

Benedryl will give me a great night sleep, but I found out I can't take that pill during the day for allergies, then another at night to sleep because in the morning things will seem strange, like everything is enhanced... it was pretty weird.

I agree with Gershun, try to avoid ambien. My sig other uses that pill and he said he is fine while taking it, but I think he is in denial about the side effects.

Just very recently I have stopped eating chocolate, oh my gosh that is so hard to do... I have noticed I am now sleeping through the night... maybe just a coincidence, so the jury is still out on that.

Yes, staying up late on the computer or kindle type device will keep one awake. I try to sign off at 9:30p.

Slept pretty well last night except for the 3 "mom help sessions". Now she is sleeping in the chair and I am on the computer as I need to stay awake now as I am expecting an important call soon. I know I slept better, when I slept as I had some dreams, so I must have gotten deeper sleep.

My neurologist saw no problem with me taking ambien every night...I told him that was nuts. I do keep some handy but only use them very sparingly if at all. Back to the melatonin and better sleep routine. Thanks all...

If you are keeping an ear open for Mom you are probably not falling into deep sleep so you will wake up easily at small disturbances. A sleep aid will help you fall into a deeper sleep but you must talk to a doctor, a sleep specialist might be best.
Sound sleep is very important to good physical and mental health. To go without sound sleep for any period of time can lead to a condition similar to Battle Fatigue, not good. This is what my doctor told me when I had a loved one living with me who was prone to seizures and bouts of delusion. I could not fall into deep sleep because I was anxious something might happen, in time I got very sick. This was not an elder care situation and when my loved one finally stabilized and was able to move to independent living I finally began to sleep again. I wish now I had gotten some help for sleep during the 3 1/2 years he was with us.