So so burned out with life...
I have posted my vent about a couple months ago.
My sister and mom used to live together, they traveled together and would three way call me while arguing (those calls drained the heck out of me) My sister has a disabled child and living with mom wasn’t working out so instead of talking about it she kicked mom out and sold her house, moved with no forwarding address and has no contact with us.
Mom lives with me, hubby and two teens now. I hate my life! I wish I can disappear. We share a bedroom wall and I hate that husband and I have to be always paranoid. My mom was a crappy abusive parent. I feel like all those dreadful feelings of coming home to her have come back. I hate coming home knowing I have to face her. also feel horrible that I have so much resentment but she’s bossy and can say mean things. I take her to the stores and doc appointments (lately I haven’t as much she Uber’s or walks) she also loves cocktails and hides in the room day and night. She just turned 69 and doc says she may have a bit of a tremor from Parkinson’s ( this makes me feel bad even talking this way about her) But I’m losing it. I have contacted my jobs EAP to begin therapy but when I called to make an appointment I was on hold for 15 minutes so I gave up.
It kinda feels good writing all this down
I know this post is jumbled with run on sentences but I feel this way.
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It's sad that you're so burned out and dread going to your own home. Sounds like she's a handful and if you don't want her to live with you anymore, then you are going to have to make some tough decisions. And implement them, even tougher.
Low income housing if she is eligible.
Assisted living or Independent living if she can care for herself.
contact Senior Services in your area and see what help is available.
Lots of options.
You aren’t happy -and neither is she— or she wouldn’t spend her time drinking alone.
Then, call resource centers in your area and try to find a place for your mom to live.
You've got to do something. Even a small action towards making that change will help.
I have a doctors appointment in a couple of weeks I thought about asking her to put me on something. I don’t think I can make it.
I wasn’t ready to share my home and be a caregiver. I told her that she may outlive me. She called me names of course in my house. What kills me is she paid sister 400 dollars a month for decades but here she says she doesn’t have money because shes paying 88. Dollars to storage and I’m married so I have his income as well. Am I wrong for asking for help?
You know exactly what I’m saying. PTSD yes! This anger , resentment seriously caught me off guard. I thought now I’m grown in my 40’s I should have forgotten all of this. But there are days I feel like that child that wants to run away. I feel very guilty for even posting here and feeling this way. I have also been eating emotionally.
i have one sister and she is gone no contact. Those people are my cousins ( who text me telling me my mom is stressing out their mom ....my aunt)
my cousins and I used to be close... Now I’m the black sheep like my sister that left us.
luckily for now, my husband is very understanding. But who knows what my future holds maybe I will end up alone like her.
Does she pay rent? Contribute to the household in anyway? Cook a meal? Do the cleaning? Help with homework?
Alcohol and tremors and isolation. You aren’t helping her. If she is on traditional Medicare it will pay for therapy.
My kids love grandma but never see her she’s in the room. In the beginning she gave me a couple hundred dollars but nothing anymore. She sometimes washes our dishes but that’s it.
I am not helping her I know. She gets really mad when I bring up the drinking because I can smell it on her breath. She doesn’t want to see any therapists.
You do not have to feel sorry for someone to the point that you sacrifice yourself just because they have an illness, especially if they are unwilling to try to do what they can for it. (BTW, excess alcohol is NOT the recommended treatment for Parkinson's, and the recommended treatment for alcohol abuse includes counseling and/or Alanon for family and that and/or AA for the individual. That too, is a really, really common problem for elderly folks these days!
My mother is a really stubborn woman. When I’m her age I pray I am more active a lot more happier than her.