I took my mother home last night, the social workers at the ER reached out to APS last week and I got an order from the courts to take her home because she had no medical reason to be in the ER.
I have an emergency hearing on next Tuesday because of the APS call from the hospital. My question is two fold, what exactly happens when the state takes over? My attorney has told me that community guardians are overworked and understaffed so they do cut a lot of corners when it comes to care.
What experience do others have with community guardians. My attorney told me it is a coin flip and it is extremely difficult to switch them.
I am also afraid they are going to try and use that my mother is doing well against me, has anyone gone through that? Where they try and frame your parents well being as a reason to not give up because their quality of life is not going to be the same. How did you navigate that situation.
I am really relieved that you have legal help. I think it is badly needed.
People as bad as or much worse than your mother are every single day placed into care.
Why that isn't happening here I can only wonder.
I do wish you the best, unamused.
Hope you will update us after the court date.
Like I said, invite them to imprison, house and feed you. At least then they will have to appoint someone else to Mom's guardianship.
I wish you all the best for the better! Where there's life, there's hope.
Patahome01
If you're unable to be a competent guardian and find your mother a memory care facility, the state will. APS is trying to scare you because they don't want to use any resources for a case like your mother's. APS because of the current "government efficiency" nonsense going on in Washington is basically working on a budget of next to nothing. So, a senior like your mother who appears clean, well-nurished, and thriving is not going to be a priority to them even if you refuse to continue caring for her. You're going to have to get her placed youself, or if the court removes you as guardian like you've requested, they will find a place.
Find her a memory care facility and place her. You may as her adult child and next-of-kin have to keep her for a few weeks until there's an available bed in a memory care facility somewhere in your state. Or until your name is removed as guardian. So instead of paying big bucks to your lawyer who is doing nothing for you, spend that money you're shelling out on some temporary homecare until you get your mother into memory care.
Also, medicating a person to make them less co-dependent is abuse. This is not a valid medical/psychiatric condition which is why no doctor is helping you out. In fact, you should be ashamed of yourself that you'd even ask that. Elders with dementia are medicated for real conditions like anxiety, agitation, depression, aggression, dementia- related psychosis, and hyper-sexuality. Not because they're needy and their adult children think they're too dependent.
Find a care facility for your mother and place her. As I said, you may actually have to be her guardian for a little while until a bed becomes available somewhere.
Our OP has tried to place mom. Everyone doesn't want her. They say she would require one on one care and they will not medicate her against her will, and I guess this is falling into MENTAL incapacity and not physical as in dementia because she is exercising the rights that those with mental incapacity can use.
I think perhaps this OP is caught in a bit of an existential nightmare. Not sure.
Thank God for POA, with my two family backups when I could no longer help Mom until she passed away at 95. I truly believed our faith helped us survive!
I hope everything gets better for you soon.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/sneaky-side-of-caregiver-burnout-159850.htm
Can you obtain your doctor's evaluation about yourself and take it and your mother to your court appt.? APS Must take over temporary care of your mother while you'e getting yourself help.
Please update your situation after your court date. Wishing you the best.
Patathome01
😍
I just want to apologise for assuming you were a woman. I've just seen an old post where you state that your mum sometimes mistakes you for her brother.
It's an almost understandable assumption, as the majority of carers seem to be women. However, it's also sexist, as there are plenty of male caregivers.
I hope that you have had a good outcome to your court hearing. If not, I hope you have better luck with getting your mum placed in care.
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