I'm so depressed from it all. What can I do?

I am sorry to hear that your dad died of cancer and now your mother is dying. Does her doctor think this is the time to call in hospice care? It sounds to me like you need to see your doctor and get on a antidepressant.

Im on one but does not help It was so pain to watch my dad now my mom.

I have found that Facebook has been the best friend I ever had as a caregiver. It allows me to connect with other people outside of my home, which is something we caregivers have little, wait, I mean, NO time to do. It helps me get outside of myself, which helps me as I already suffer from major depression and tend to be overly obssesive too. Facebook allows me an outlet to post my feelings about things and get support and comfort from my friends. It also allows me to be "involved" in their lives. People post the humorous, the serious, the political, the mundane, anything. You can be as involved in a conversation as you want to be, or not be if you don't feel like it. Focusing solely on the drudgeries of daily life as a hospice caregiver, the ultimate "futility" of anything you do save your loved one, all of it can be so overwhelmingly depressive sometimes that it is easy to get stuck obsessing over it. Therefore, whether it be Facebook or any other distraction, you need to get your thoughts outside of your everday situation and experience the rest of the world. Even though we caregivers spend our time alleviating the suffering of our loved ones as they face death, it is still ok to live life as fully as we can.