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Recently 60. For the last year, I've been having a serious issue with revenge sleep procrastination. Staying up way too late on youtube, social media, alternative platforms etc. This has resulted in continual mild sleep deprivation. Feel like an "adult babysitter" is needed for one evening to just break the cycle (like the episode of Portlandia where she hired a babysitter to make sure her husband went to bed at a decent time while she was out, because he couldn't be pulled away from gaming). There could be more issues going on and I'm not saying I'm perfect. I live alone. Thoughts?

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Put put electronic things away..give them a nighttime curfew. Shut down, power off by 8:45. Grab a boring book. Read yourself to sleep.
Ya, like I do that.. and if you’re not opposed, natures aid time release melatonin..
Sleep issues are no fun and
stress is so much fun, right?
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My DH falls asleep in front of the TV every time he sits down in that darn recliner. I can make it through ONE movie a couple nights a week. He watches and average of 8 hrs of TV a day--most days, much, much more.

I start to wind down about 8 pm. I read myself to sleep. DH sleeps with his phone in his face, listening to podcasts or even watching yet another movie. He's a true elctronics addict!

My sleep has been irregular and bad for YEARS and if I get 2-4 hr stretches and a 1 hr lie dwon in the afternoon, I'm OK. But many, many years of poor sleep has taken its toll.

I take a Seroquel when I go to bed and after 20-30 minutes, turn off the lights, put in the earplugs and put on the eye mask. That's the best I can do.

IF DH is very restless and actually groaning in his sleep, I simply move downstairs. He feels bad, but my sleep is precious to me.
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It's all a matter of disciplining yourself to create new habits. If you want to stop this behavior, commit to shutting the devices down at 9 pm (or pick a time) and put them out of reach. Turn on the tv, or pick up a book or listen to a podcast, and that's that.

Or accept the fact you'll have mild sleep deprivation moving forward.

For social media to attach a label to such behavior as "revenge sleep/bedtime procrastination" is to suggest therapy is necessary to address it. In my experience, this is a habit a person can change with determination and commitment, not "therapy".

Good luck to you.
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Lulu376 Nov 7, 2023
Thank you, I appreciate it :)
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My hunch is you are depressed and lonely. Get a therapist
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Lulu376 Nov 7, 2023
:.( You may have a point
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I have always been a night owl. Most of my family is the same. Although the advice so far is very sensible, it doesn’t work for me.

If you’ve never been this way, it might be time for a check in with the doc. Aging and hormonal changes, depression, health issues can impact people.

If usually this way like me but worse now, perhaps spend some time non-judgmentally observing yourself on both the good and bad days/nights to see what they have in common.

For me, I discovered,
1. I need a looong wind down time away from people, even people I love, and the most minimal interaction resets the clock, so no texts, calls, email, people talking. The worse the day, the longer my do not disturb period needs to be.
2. Particularly when caregiving, I don’t get enough of what fulfills me. Revenge procrastination nights are usually when I was very busy that day, but didn’t do anything that mattered to me personally. Doom-scrolling in the evening tells me to DO something I care about for a while.
3. Light. Natural morning light, and slowly winding down the light in the evening. I’m very sun-cycle driven, and if I get too off schedule, I’ll end up sliding all the way to the next day and resetting. We live our lives by physical clocks, but biochemically we operate by the sun, and those don’t always align quite right with social expectations.

I feel for you. People have been telling me my whole life to just get up with an alarm clock as if I’d never thought about that. No one should ever depend on me at 7am to do anything meaningful, but if you need someone at 4 am to be alert and save your life, I’m your owl. Good luck.
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Lulu376 Nov 7, 2023
I've done that before, sliding into the next day and hopefully resetting. Just skipping sleep altogether for the night and going out and seeing what a morning looks like.
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Well, I am not altogether sure you have a problem. If you don’t have to get up early for work, then why not stay up and enjoy the quiet time on your iPad, reading, whatever, until sleep claims you? Then sleep until you wake naturally, and perhaps catch a nice “power nap” in the afternoon?

The pandemic lockdown back in ‘20 did a similar thing to my sleep pattern. Because the days of isolation seemed to be endless, I began doing all the New York Times puzzles at bedtime, and I would often stay up until crazy hours. Or, I would binge-watch a British crime series. Then, I would just sleep later in the morning.

Now that life is back to normal (whatever that is) I still stay up later than I once did, but…as I said, what’s the problem with a weird sleep schedule? Only school children really need to be strapped to a strict bedtime/wakeup schedule. Do what suits you!
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Lol, I remember that Portlandia episode!

I haven’t really experienced being tempted with that revenge staying up thing since my caregiving ended and I have control over my time again.

I hope others have some good suggestions or insights for you.
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There are many studies out there showing that exposing oneself to any of the many electronics we all own especially before bedtime is detrimental to our sleep.
So turn off all your electronics at an earlier hour, take a nice hot bubble bath, take a melatonin(if needed)and curl up with a good book.
I'm guessing that doing that might just cure your sleep issues. And if not it may be time to see your doctor.
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AlvaDeer Nov 6, 2023
I fall asleep to podcasts, sleep like a babe and feel great and well rested at 81.
Now I ALWAYS fell asleep easily, but now it is fun AND easy.
I don't believe in half what they say about sleeping. They recommend not to read as well. Nonsense. Books are guaranteed to put us to sleep.
I think the more we worry about sleep the worse our problems but that's just me. Brains do definitely differ.
Balance exercises are great while watching TV. Makes the balancing so much more difficult! Therefore makes the exercises more effective.
Hee hee.
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I think more expert help is needed here than the opinions of people on a Forum. Most of us are able to change behaviors we feel is destructive to our mental or physical health. If we can't we need some expert help. I would start with a cognitive therapist because you don't really want to discuss your early childhood and toilet training--you just need help with a habit you have formed. Good luck.

But, hey, another idea to try BEFORE that expensive therapist? I often go to sleep listening to Podcasts. I love it. They do put me to sleep fast. Get yourself a little tablet and listen to in this order of my favorites:
Terrible, Thanks for Asking
Anna Sales Death Sex and Money
Scamfluencers
Esther Perel's Where Should We Begin (counseling sessions)
Guaranteed to put you to sleep fast.
For true crime lovers the world is FULL of them but I love
Crime Junkies.
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Lulu376 Nov 7, 2023
Aww thank you for all the advice! And for the suggested podcasts!
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Tried Ambien? It gets you to sleep fast, the extended version lasts all night. I have tried everything over the counter, and nothing works.
I have tried Tramadol, Exedrine PM.
Ambien might not be good for you, but driving elderly parents around when I , myself didn't get but 2 hours sleep is even more scarey.
Downside is that it is an RX, and docs make you feel guilty asking for it.
I guess the docs are not caring for a 90 year old mom and 97 year old demanding dad...
Give em a day with my family , and the Docs them selves would gladly take Zolpidem ( ambien)
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Lulu376 Nov 7, 2023
Yes I have and ambien is great! My problem is getting to bed at a decent time when I have to get up early the next morning, or even when I don't, then I end up sleeping in until noon. It's like at night I don't feel tired or the need to go to bed, and then it's 1:30 a.m. When I do get into bed I can sleep well enough
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