I can understand your concern for your sister. Is it possible to get her to see her doctor and her meds reviewed? Is there a new medical reason for these falls? If she is very stubborn and won't help herself, one option would be to call Adult Protective Services in her community and have a social worker intervene.
I know its hard. We all want to stay as independent as possible, but sometimes we all have to make some hard choices.
I hope you can find something that will help your sister.
Chip, I noticed in your profile that yours sister lives in "Independent Living", or do you mean that she lives in her own home outside of a senior complex?
If she lives in her own house/condo, if your sister refuses any type of outside caregivers, then all you can do is wait. Wait for a serious situation where your sister needs 911, hospital, rehab, and maybe she will then realize [or maybe not] that she needs someone at home to help her be safe.
Would she be able to budget for an outside caregiver? They can be costly. Or could she afford to move into a senior "Independent Living" complex where she would be checked on during the way, and other perks like weekly housekeeping and linen service. Those could cost a few thousands a month, depending on your area.
I think Monkeydoo has a very good point. My mother was very resistant to any kind of help. The life alert allowed me to feel better about her living alone. We had it set up so they would call me, then my daughter, if we didn't answer they would call 911.
She fell and broke her hip in the kitchen. She set the button off and they asked her if she wanted 911 and she said, "No, call my daughter". I told them to call 911 and I called a neighbor who got there the same time as the Fire Department. There were bars on the house with a hideaway key outside. The neighbor knew where it was and he let the firemen in.
My girlfriend's mother lived in Montana and she lived in Southern California. They set her button up to call 911 then call Alice. That way Alice knew something was up.
Mom thought it was a waste of money until she fell and couldn't get up.
One thing you never said is whether or not she's competent. This would really help a lot to know her state of mind right now because if she's not competent the APS and an eldercare lawyer can step in and intervene. If she is competent there may not really be very much you can do except to let the cards fall where they will. If you can't get any help and all of your efforts have failed, just washing your hands of the situation may be the only option left. I faced this with my foster dad even when he was developing dementia but there was nothing I could do because I had no help. I was just at that point of having no other choice but to step back and let whatever happens happen, even if it meant walking in and finding him dad one day from self-neglect. I didn't want to ever have to find anyone dead, but there was really nothing I could do if no one else was willing to step in and help. This was the only option left for me regarding my foster dad, there were no other decisions because all other efforts failed until one day the IPS suddenly step in and intervene and come to find out, there were three of us who made anonymous reports. You can give all of the information that you have even if you have a book full of it but the APS doesn't always step in and intervene when you're on your own with this kind of situation and little to no resources. That's why you must be at a point of just stepping back and letting whatever happens happen. Eventually one of two things will happen. Either the right help will come along during that time or the person will just end up dying because there was no help when family had already pleaded for it. If the person ends up dying because no help came in time, the family would have a lawsuit on their hands because it would be a winnable case
I agree with those who said get her a Life Alert. For a few years that worked with my mom. Now she needs a sitter when I can't be there and can only be left alone for a few hours, but for a few years having that gave me some peace of mind that when she fell again, then help would come. If your sister is competent there's not much you can do.
Part of the problem might be the sleeping pills. If she's willing to listen, she would be safer is she went to bed before she took one. She could read or watch TV in bed before she falls asleep.
I myself take an occasional sleep aid, and what I do is I put a power chair by the bed and have it on a low-speed for going to and from the bathroom which is a good ways from my bed. I only use the chair when I take a strong enough pill that knocks me completely out for 12 hours, leaving me barely awake when I must get up to go to the bathroom. The chair ensures my safety to the bathroom and back.
I strongly agree with taking the sleeping aid after you're in bed because you never know how much time you have until it takes effect. When you become familiar with how long you have until sleep time and how it affects you, then you'll know whether or not you should be in bed right away before taking the pill or whether her you might have about a few minutes to an hour before it kicks in. It really depends on your fluid intake and your energy and exercise level. If you do some form of physical activity before going to bed, your medicine will kick in much faster than if you're relaxed.
I just hope by now you may have gotten her neurologically evaluated and a brain scan done to see if there's any sign of dementia or Alzheimer's on the brain. Special scans revealed this, which will reveal how much you're going to be able to do in this particular case. If it shows she has dementia or Alzheimer's, she's going to need a guardian. The APS can get that ball rolling if they must alert the courts and a court appointed guardian is assigned to her. If she's competent, her brain scan may not show dementia or Alzheimer's unless it's the very early signs. Not everyone gets dementia or Alzheimer's and they can remain independent until their last day. Definitely get her evaluated first so you know what options are open to you. If she's competent, there won't be very much you can do. Sometimes elders are clinging to their freedom and independence because they don't want no one over them, especially taking advantage of them. No one wants to lose their freedom or independence or have anyone taking advantage of them. Most importantly, no one wants someone else overturning certain things they put in place when they were able to make them plans those plans and arrangements. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if there are a wide multitude of elders who are protecting the most vital things in their lives along with their valuables that mean the most to them. Consider all the reasons yourself and what means the most to you, and consider that your elders are probably doing the very same thing. Age is really just a number but there are sometimes problems that come with those numbers. That doesn't say the person isn't just as human as us and that they don't feel just like we do. Just because you reach a certain age doesn't mean you're any less human than when you were younger
I can understand your concern for your sister. Is it possible to get her to see her doctor and her meds reviewed? Is there a new medical reason for these falls? If she is very stubborn and won't help herself, one option would be to call Adult Protective Services in her community and have a social worker intervene.
I know its hard. We all want to stay as independent as possible, but sometimes we all have to make some hard choices.
I hope you can find something that will help your sister.
If she lives in her own house/condo, if your sister refuses any type of outside caregivers, then all you can do is wait. Wait for a serious situation where your sister needs 911, hospital, rehab, and maybe she will then realize [or maybe not] that she needs someone at home to help her be safe.
Would she be able to budget for an outside caregiver? They can be costly. Or could she afford to move into a senior "Independent Living" complex where she would be checked on during the way, and other perks like weekly housekeeping and linen service. Those could cost a few thousands a month, depending on your area.
She fell and broke her hip in the kitchen. She set the button off and they asked her if she wanted 911 and she said, "No, call my daughter". I told them to call 911 and I called a neighbor who got there the same time as the Fire Department. There were bars on the house with a hideaway key outside. The neighbor knew where it was and he let the firemen in.
My girlfriend's mother lived in Montana and she lived in Southern California. They set her button up to call 911 then call Alice. That way Alice knew something was up.
Mom thought it was a waste of money until she fell and couldn't get up.
Part of the problem might be the sleeping pills. If she's willing to listen, she would be safer is she went to bed before she took one. She could read or watch TV in bed before she falls asleep.
I strongly agree with taking the sleeping aid after you're in bed because you never know how much time you have until it takes effect. When you become familiar with how long you have until sleep time and how it affects you, then you'll know whether or not you should be in bed right away before taking the pill or whether her you might have about a few minutes to an hour before it kicks in. It really depends on your fluid intake and your energy and exercise level. If you do some form of physical activity before going to bed, your medicine will kick in much faster than if you're relaxed.
I just hope by now you may have gotten her neurologically evaluated and a brain scan done to see if there's any sign of dementia or Alzheimer's on the brain. Special scans revealed this, which will reveal how much you're going to be able to do in this particular case. If it shows she has dementia or Alzheimer's, she's going to need a guardian. The APS can get that ball rolling if they must alert the courts and a court appointed guardian is assigned to her. If she's competent, her brain scan may not show dementia or Alzheimer's unless it's the very early signs. Not everyone gets dementia or Alzheimer's and they can remain independent until their last day. Definitely get her evaluated first so you know what options are open to you. If she's competent, there won't be very much you can do. Sometimes elders are clinging to their freedom and independence because they don't want no one over them, especially taking advantage of them. No one wants to lose their freedom or independence or have anyone taking advantage of them. Most importantly, no one wants someone else overturning certain things they put in place when they were able to make them plans those plans and arrangements. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if there are a wide multitude of elders who are protecting the most vital things in their lives along with their valuables that mean the most to them. Consider all the reasons yourself and what means the most to you, and consider that your elders are probably doing the very same thing. Age is really just a number but there are sometimes problems that come with those numbers. That doesn't say the person isn't just as human as us and that they don't feel just like we do. Just because you reach a certain age doesn't mean you're any less human than when you were younger