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I have a sister who is a bully and is negative all the time. She says i do not take care for our parents as good as she does, it hurts my feelings so much, myself and my husband go above and beyond for our parents, but we dont complain about it 24/7. We never get any credit for all we do. i just dont know what to do, just want to run away and i cringe every time she calls because it is always drama with her. She probably feels guilty because her Husband is never there to help out and my husband has done more for them than she has. But the funny thing is,i will not compare notes with her, we take care of the situations and never throw it up in her face. Her husband molested me as a child and she never stood up for me or believed me about what happened and now i just cant even stand being around her. I am 11 years younger than her. He molested me from age 9 thru 12. This has been tough not to blow up and tell her how i really feel. I am tired of her controlling my life. I am very overweight because of my life trama and she has ways. Picked on me for my weight gain. I just need advise, feel like i am having a nervous breakdown

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I am very sorry to hear what you are so unfairly going through. Read the article below,find a therapist and get you and your husband out of there before it kills you.

https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/power-of-emotional-blackmailers-176430.htm?cpage=0&cm=440543#440543

Good luck and keep in touch.
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Try to stop looking for approval from your sister. You'll never get it. Just keep doing what you're doing for your parents and know that you and your husband are doing a good job and are doing right by them.

And when your sister calls you don't have to take the call every time. Let it go to voicemail once in a while. The world won't end if you don't talk to her every time she calls. Make a decision to not participate in family drama. Care for your parents. Talk to your sister only when necessary and leave the rest of the toxic issues behind.
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I'm new here, and your topic of "sister issues" caught my eye. I too have "sister issues," but mine are with my Mom's interfering sister, who is only 2 years older than I am. More about that in another topic. :-) Sounds like your sister and her husband are toxic to your well-being..

My advice is to make a list of what you want your sister to do, and to stop doing. Try and construct each sentence in the positive...like "I want you to tell me how much you appreciate the work I do to help Mom." If you don't think she will respond well to positive "wants", then construct your "wants" like this...."I want you to stop____."

Either send her the list, or tell her these things in person, or on the phone. If she doesn't respect your requests, then cut off all contact with her. If you continue to maintain contact with her by answering her phone calls, allowing her in your home, etc., the abuse from her will continue.
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This caught my eye too. Please see a professional therapist before you have a break down. Nothing good is coming out of the relationship you have with your sister and her abusive husband. Sister's sometimes think they are in charge of grading, or degrading, younger sisters, but you don't deserve to be treated like this!
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