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My sister admits that she should have divorced her husband years ago while there was still some money but now that they are essentially broke, she has no place to go nor enough money to go. Her husband totally controls everything - she can't get her own mail, he does the grocery shopping, he controls the TV remote, etc. HE spends money on what he wants but she can't. This scenario goes on and one. Both are fine mentally - at least as far as I can tell. I've considered turning him in for elder abuse but worry that things might get worse. My BIL will "get even" with my sister when she tries to assert herself. She is 78 and he is 81. Any suggestions?

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Bless you for thinking of your sister. Please continue to look after her. 78 is a relatively young age nowadays. Could you take her to a woman's shelter and get her some help? She obviously should leave him. So what if there is not money. That is what medicaid is for.
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She needs to get a divorce. Document what is going on then file. This is essentially emotional abuse and she can get a restraining order which will put him out. Go talk to Elder abuse about this and the department of family services. He can be put out of the house with a restraining order and it will help in the divorce. Don't be afraid. Once he is out, if he showed up there, the restraining order would be violated and he would be arrested. Likely that would end it. She could get SSI, food stamps, Medicaid, etc. She's put up with this too long. It's time for him to go.
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Thank you for your responses. I totally agree with you but getting my sis on the same page seems impossible but guess that's part of being abused!
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