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Hi Everyone, I am recently new to the group & I care for my husband's 94 yr old grandmother whom is living with us since November 2015. Before she moved in with us she was in independent living for 2 1/2 years. She put herself in heart failure for not taking care of herself. She has low sodium, A-Fib, dementia, & also mental issues. Daughter is 72 whom is bi-polar manic depressive. Grandma came to live with us after being treated for heart failure in November. Keep in mind we found out the dimentia & psychosis just recently which explains all the repeated patterns of many hospital trips, in & out of the doctors offices which was constant as there were many complaints of constant tiredness, back hurting, itching etc...Every time we would get one issue settled, we were back in doc's office for something else. All of this for attention...part of her compulsiveness which led into the heart failure as she refused to take care of herself, she wants a man to take care of her...a man who has vitality..she wants one who drives & is in perfect health. Prior to her heart failure, she was in pretty good shape, no major illnesses, no incontinence etc! Seriously....constant, negative complainer. Never happy, always negative. Since moving in, we have had to deal with paranoia, extreme aggression, sundowners which is really bad, spitting out her meds. She is seeing psychiatrist who put her on 150mg seroquel which I give her before sundown, 30mg Mertazapine at bedtime & .05mg clonzapam which she is chemically dependent on. Yet she is still awake & up half the night. Her blood pressure shoots up & down. This morning it was 140//79 & pulse of 97, I took it hour & half later & it went down to 93/59 with pulse of 78. I am the only person who cares for her 24/7 & she acts like she requires 24/7 help....she does not, she wants it. I have had many conversations with her & she wants to die, but she is up batting curtains, people in her room, room is lit up like an airport at night , tv blaring all night long. Night before, she was up at midnight slamming her door. She says she acts this way because she is old & dying but yet does nothing to be a part of the living. Shows no interest in anything except to complain to visiting nurse how she wants to do things, but her only interest is sleeping all day & up all night. I think her spirit is restless as her meds should be keeping her down at night but all its doing is keeping her from wandering at night, not sleeping, her agitation level is down but still meds do not seem to be making her wanting to sleep at night, Her appetite has decreased....what do I need to expect here as she will be fighting it every step of the way, but yet refuses to do anything unless there is a man....I have been observing this behavior since she moved in....we had to increase her clonzapam as she was suffering withdrawl symptoms however this is still not keeping her sleeping...her blood pressure has been fluctuating alot in the past month...running high, now running low....hospice is not on board yet...

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To me it sounds like her body system is toxified. See if you can get her to drink some chaparral tea to help her liver deal with all those medications. You could see a homeopathic D.O. who would possibly recommend arsenicum album, or perhaps a tissue salt. (Would help with the salt craving. Salt cravings can be mineral deficiencies.)
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im the 212 degrees of global warming .
the point where it turns to steam.
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boy , you'all got off easy tonight . im just physically tired because ive dropped 70 trees in two days so im gonna go lie down .
ive been cutting on the great sahara forest . you younger folk dont get what im talking about because its DESERT now ..
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im also groovin on the half a week old pepperoni chili that i had to disprove society with . it freaking rocks . suck it society . ..
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yes , c willie .
dont ask me a straight question if you dont want a straight answer .
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Sampling the melon wine again captain???
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Munschausen Syndrome is not fatal in the least. If they are walking and talking, no where near the end.
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thats like me , with everything transplanted but my bandana .
the freaking bandana is going to dry rot at some point .
i hope science can come up with a better bandana but we have to deal with our place in history .
bandana technology is dragging @s# .
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tl , dr ;
94 years of age is a pretty good sign of end of life .
jeBus freakin freakshow !! .
thats really old ..
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You are her paid caregiver? Have you spoken to the family about this change in her?
I think she needs to be evaluated by a doctor to see what is going on, it could be something treatable. If she is truly declining then it may be time for an evaluation by hospice, they can provide a lot of help and knowledge to both the family and you, and assist in keeping her comfortable day to day.
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Hello everyone I am new to this site. Bu5 I care for a 96 year old women and she has had a rough life. She suffers from dementia and depression. I have cared for her for the last year. I have always been able to get her up out of bed and eat a good meal but the last week I have noticed that she has now started to stop talking, sleeping all the time and refusing to take her meds. I know that she has been expoed to a slue of colds in the last month but her vitals and temperature have been great. I fear that this is getting close to the end and she is giving up. She is normally a very spry lady. I dont know what I can do to help her or her family... thank you for the help
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Very exhausting. We brought her home to live with us as hospital physician said she can no longer stay by herself due to her starting to wander at her ASL & she was ripping IV's out in hospital & wandering in hospital. They had to call security on her...she refused to stay in her room...also, we had no other choice but to bring her home as she would have been broke in 4 months with no additional monies to cover meds etc. She burned through almost $100,000 in the last 10 months being in & out of hospital including a month's stay in rehab which was out of pocket. The ASL could have kept her but the cost of hiring someone at night 7 days a week would have been too costly. Her rent + additional care was costing between $5k-$6,000 a month. I was already caring for her during the daytime. We have such limited help other than for the VNA....We are putting her in eldercare day program 2x a week, starting next week to help with the sundowners....but it has been hard, as she can do things, but refuses...so....she wants 24 hour entertainment...she just started taking a higher dose of the seroquel extended release now for a week.
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It sounds exhausting! May I ask, why did you make the choice to bring her into your home rather that assisted living?
Frankly I wouldn't worry too much about her BP or diet at this point in her life, at 94 she deserves her little treats if it makes her happier. The reversal of day and night is a bigger concern, and one of the big reasons caregivers burn out.
If you are seriously wondering about end of life signs just google it, there are dozens of good sites, or do a search on this site. While nothing is certain when you are 94 I don't think she is showing any obvious signs yet.
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I may add that she has seen neurologist who diagnosed the dementia, but more psychiatric issues She is also high maintenance, acts like she is in constant pain, constantly wanting attention...she even complains about going to bathroom...always wanting sympathy...refuses to listen to doctor/nurses not to eat salt but wants to put salt on her food, craving sweets, she wants to eat only junk food. Refuses to bath/wash her clothes etc....
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