Sick of arguing about driving. I don't know what to tell Mom anymore.

I feel for you. I can relate to this so much as my dad had his license revoked at one time due to medical issues. Also when I was pregnant with my youngest, I was rear-ended by an 83 year old woman who should not have been behind the wheel. Luckily, she wasn’t hurt and I only got a cut on my lip. I do not know her situation but I can tell you she displayed severe cognitive impairment at the scene of the accident and in the days following—she called the officer that took the report and was extremely confused and wanted him to come fix her car. After she slammed into me twice, got out of her car and sat in the backseat. She never called her insurance either. The officer gave her a ride home and notified that DMV that her license needed to be revoked. Then my dad was having seizures and probably has narcolepsy and his license was revoked for a period of time because of it and he refused to stop driving. My mom wasn’t strong enough to fight him on it. If she hid the keys, he probably would have gone into a rage. So he drove when he knew he wasn’t supposed to and the whole time I was 6 hours away and helpless and I had so much anger! And I constantly worried he was going to hurt or kill an innocent person! Truth be told I wouldn’t have been too upset if he crashed and killed himself but I would have been unable to handle him killing someone else. That was my biggest fear at the time. Anyway He ended up having a seizure or falling asleep while driving home from the dr one day and he rolled the car several times. THANK GOD he didn’t hit anyone else. he came away with minor injuries. (Moms car was totalled though). If I had lived Closer and could intervene, I would have called the cops every time he got behind the wheel. If I disconnected a fuse, he’d just call AAA. I really feel for you, I felt a lot of anger at both my parents during that time especially because my mom would complain about my dad driving when he wasn’t supposed to And she wouldn’t stop giving him her keys (he doesn’t have his own car, he was disabled in an accident 17 years ago). And they would come down here to visit us and he would drive! Maybe you can disconnect some wires/fuses and give her the key back. But then I wonder, would she think to call road side service or a tow truck? I’m so sorry!!! I know exactly how you feel!

We told my husband that his insurance wouldn't cover him if he drove since he has no license. That plus he would be deemed responsible in any accident even if it obviously was not his fault. The other party could sue and get everything he had worked and saved all his life. This was sufficient to scare him although he still thinks he can drive but hasn't attempted to do so. He always was cheap so losing money for him was the ultimate threat!
I did ask him what he would do if I were to fall and black out. He said he would pick me up, put me in the car and drive me to the hospital. Not the best idea! Working on changing that reaction and meanwhile staying safe.

I had to get a medical warrent to get my husband to the get the medical help he needed. He was told do not drive. I hid the keys and refuse to argue about it! Just say no! DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE KEYS, Walk away. If you stand your ground, you just get into a huge fight. Hide the keys and walk away, after a time they quit asking. I always drove him where he need to go, as he complained that he could drive. I just didn't hear a thing, after awhile he gave up. Think of this as two year old throwing a huge temper tantrum. If you react it gets worse. GOOD LUCK! Its a hard thing to do, taking the keys. I know its heart breaking.

This isn't advice, it's just a "been there, done that," empathetic comment. We had the same issue with my mom. Luckily, my mom's car stopped working, (Divine intervention, I guess), and the mechanic told my mom, truthfully, that he couldn't guarantee that a replacement part would help, because of the age of the car. He said it might be like dominoes falling: 1 problem fixed, soon to be followed by another one.  You might want to consult (an elder care) lawyer regarding if you can be held responsible if your mom manages to get behind the wheel and causes an accident, and if the lawyer has any suggestions as to what you can do to protect your assets, and more importantly, protect your mom and others on the street. As another poster suggested, maybe check with Elder Services in your area, and/or AARP, or maybe call a Geriatrician for advice. Good luck.

Remove fuse unplug wires. Lookly my dad who could think but no longer feel the brake or accelerator key gave up driving because he was afraid of hurting my mom or some one else. bad thing he yelled at me often while I was driving him.

My mom told my grandpa that the car was sick and it had to go to the doctor. Then it was not fixable. She actually took it to her house

My husband disconnected the battery in my mother’s car and left a note on top of the battery saying why it was disconnected. This way if she called AAA they would lift the hood and see the note. Her car is leased and there is no acceptable financial option to get out of the lease for another eight months.
Listen when your mother complains (for only a minute), say you understand but do not to explain why she can’t drive. Change the subject, if that doesn’t work walk away. She likely thinks that as long as she can keep you engaged in the conversation she has a chance to win. I told mine that her doctors have forbidden her to drive and I have no power over the DMV. It has been seven months now since her license was revoked, she still complains from time to time but as her memory worsens she switches her OCD behavior to other subjects.

There should be an Occupational Therapist near by that is certified in driver safety assessments. I would suggest you tell Mom that if she passes the test she can drive. If she doesn't she can't drive.

My only choice was to get rid of my Mom's car. Ended up giving it away. I had my car but I controlled the keys.

My dad had the local police come to my grandfather's home. They gently told him he couldn't drive anymore. It worked!

How about: it got towed away because it failed a safety check. ?