I recently moved my elderly parents into a retirement community. This involved moving them out of a large home they had occupied for 43 years and it was filled to the brim with stuff. It was incredibly stressful. I spent countless hours sifting, sorting, throwing and organizing and negotiating with my mother about what to take and not take. She is in good health, my father has dementia. I did most of the work with some help from one brother (there are six of us in total). They are now moved in and settled but only one brother and I have visited them and settled them in. The other brother categorically refuses to have anything to do with the entire situation telling me he is too busy to visit or help. It irritates me to no end that he leaves my parents wondering why he has cut himself off from them. There are loads of family dynamics, hurt feelings, and issues but these are his elderly parents! How he can be so selfish and callous just blows my mind. It hurts me and it hurts them. Any advice is appreciated.
And remember, your parents raised your brother, so somewhere, he got a different message about responsibility than you got. That's what I find interesting! My brother and I grew up in the same house, but our sense of responsibility to our parents has been much different. I'm happy I'm the person that I am.
How recently did you move your folks into a retirement community, and bravo for you for helping them do that.... too many times our parents want to keep living in a house that is too overwhelming for them to maintain, and too overwhelming for us to help them with the house. Good for you :)
I have read on these forum here on this website that it is best to give one's parent(s) a month or so to settle into their new home. Then the family can come to visit. As you know, not everyone in the family will think alike for whatever past or current reason. Just keep offering the olive branch to those siblings who haven't visited, try not to scold even though you want to do that.