Siblings unavailable in case of emergencies.

Chloe,

I am terribly sorry that you experienced a hospital discharge that was horrible.

I commend you for taking charge of your situation. You have to do whatever you need to do.

I don’t know why your daughter disapproves of the people that you appointed as emergency contacts.

I can understand your daughter’s concerns if she has valid reasons for her disapproval. Has she shared her reasons with you?

I am sorry that there is friction between you and your daughter right now. That’s hard.

Wishing you all the best and hoping that you can mend things quickly with your daughter.

Clearly you are not living safely alone.

Your daughter has told you that she cannot continue to be emergency contact.
You need to arrange a safe living situation for yourself, and will need to know that, as so many people without any children at all, you have to get placed in a situation in which you are safe.

Ask the daughter upon whom you are currently so dependent if she will help you explore Board and Care living, ALF or Nursing, and help you in assessing the assets you have available to help you in your are.

So sorry. You must be feeling very alone. Many hospital admissions come about simply because of feeling helpless and abandoned. My heart goes out to you. Talk calmly and honestly with your daughter.

Your post is seriously confusung. If your daughter travels extensively, then she's not available as an emergency contact in the first place. Yet you said "siblings unavailble in case of emergency". So, now your daughter has "refused to be an emergency contact also" when she couldn't BE one to begin with. Meaning she has no say WHO you choose. She needs to grow up and stop acting like a toddler.

I will also say I've never heard of a hospital discharging a cognitively impaired person in a taxi wearing nightclothes in the rain before. File a complaint with the patient advocate in the hospital.

Yes, you must do what is in your best interest. No one can argue with that. I hope your daughter comes around and is willing to resolve the issue with you. Perhaps she is fearful that someone else will take advantage of you in some way. Perhaps she has some guilt over not always being there for you. If you know what feelings she is experiencing perhaps you can reassure her. All the best.

Thanks for the added info. I really thought that Hospitals were not allowed to do this. I thought legislation was done a while back because of situations like yours.

Medicare? You said your age is 64, your not able to receive Medicare at 64 so are you collecting SS disability? I so hope your able to get this hospital penalized big time. If you have a trusted neighbor, I may ask if they could be put down as a contact. Not so much to pick u up, that makes the responsible for you, but so they can make sure when u get home, your looked in on. This was handled so badly and someone's head is going to roll.

You have no obligation to tell anyone who your emergency contacts are. You can have several, as far as I know.

Most people use their family who may or may not be MPOA or POA, but certainly if they're not around, you should have a list of people to call. In fact, it's probably a good idea.

Are you talking about your own siblings or your children? I don’t follow.

This is confusing. Are u the 64 yr old mother? Is it your son who lives in Spain and daughter who travels? Now the daughter who travels is mad because you placed someone else as contact?

It is kind of hard to believeca Hospital released you in this condition. I can see calling a taxi for you but they should have wheelchaired you out to the taxi. Not too sure about sending u home in a nightgown and footsies but you never know.

You have every right to list who u want as an emergency contact. If this is the daughter who is the traveler, then she is being unrealistic.

Thank you all for such compassionate comments. I will try to answer your questions here. Hopefully I will get all of them.

1. Ironically my daughter owns 3 group homes for people who have Alzheimer’s and dementia but also people have lived alone and are fall risks. She doesn’t feel I’m a ‘real candidate’

2. My daughter’s refusal to continue as my emergency contact is juvenile at best. She was previously partner with the person I have added to my emergency contacts. They had a very serious break and are no longer business partners. I have maintained a close relationship with her former partner. While she says she doesn’t expect everyone to turn their backs on her former partner, her actions speak otherwise. For example, when she found out I had been invited to have dinner with this person (even though my plan had been to come to her house afterwards) she uninvited me to her dinner and told me I wasn’t welcome. She apologized but only after her husband told her she was being an ass.

side note: she and this person (her name is Ayana) had been friends/family for almost 30 years. They lived together for a while. They are both from Trinidad. Share cultural values. (I am American. This is my adopted daughter). Their lives mirrors each other’s. Had their children together. Studied the same business separate, home health/care of the elderly, then partnered. We always had holiday dinners together. Thanksgiving. Christmas. Secret Santa’s. Easter. Etc

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Chloe, I would say, your daughter may have her reasons, what ever they are, we all need to except that. My sister up and disappeared on helping with my mom. I could dwell on it and be angry, but in the end it's her choice, nothing I can do. And no amount of being upset is going to change it. To be honest if my sister doesn't want to be there, then it's best if she isn't.
It may be best for all of you that you're daughter isn't there. What you have to do is take care of you and doing what is best for you. If this other person is better for you, so be it.