This is a write-in type of message board. We don't do phone calls. There are many, many, many posts on this site from folks like yourself whose siblings have no idea how much work is involved in caregiving. Some people have called siblings and told them "I'm in need of a break. I'm taking two weeks starting tomorrow. it's your turn". As the old saying goes, walking in someone else's shoes does wonders. You sound like you are quite burned out. Do you want to tell us more?
Hi Stephen, I am in the same situation. I have been a caregiver for 4 years to my mom and dad. My dad passed away last year unexpectedly of a heart attack. My mom has moderate alzeheimers and I'm the only sibling living in the same city as my mom. I am out of work for this long to take care of her. It is so hard keeping up her 4 bedroom house and yard. Daily there is so much to remember with dr appts, prescriptions, bills, cooking, cleaning, just endless amounts of things. I don't think my siblings understand, with my sister only coming for one weekend a month its hard to even see what all this entails. I feel like I;m not appreciated from my mom. She stays mad at me because I'm the one that has to make all decisions. Sorry to hear you are going through this, trust me I know what it's like. Take some time for yourself is very important, do something you enjoy, a hobby, activity, etc. I find that I need to make more time to talk to other people and to mingle helps me reconnect. I have a mother in law recently entered a nursing home, so going to see her also. Try to find local agency in your area that can offer help. Hang in there, I know it's tough.
I truly understand....my daughter (17) came up with this while we were talking this morning....one of my brothers treat me like I am the hired help. He is always thanking me for all I do and saying that I will be abundantly blessed. Of course he is saying this while he is doing nothing and just coming for visits every couple of weeks. My sister treats me like a friend who comes to her to vent, saying " I understand and don't blame you for being tired, you have done this for 8 years now." While not helping in anyway unless she is asked to do something specific. During these 8 years I have lost my life, my direction, my health at times, while everyone else lives there lives, goes on vacations, and comes by when it is convenient or fits into there schedule. They just have no idea.
Stephen, could you post again, please? Your profile says that your mother's primary ailment is depression; and I know how contagious that can be. Please keep 'talking' here.
Stephen, I'm guessing you're completely and totally burned out. You've given us no details to work with other than your caregiving isn't appreciated; yet I sense I'm right -- burnout.
You have at least two other siblings. Call them both and tell them you are leaving for a week's vacation starting a week from Monday. It's up to them to provide care for mom. If they are unable to do so, call your local Senior Services social program and make an appointment to discuss other ways of caring for your mom.
Slavery was outlawed in this country. When you are someplace you don't want to be doing something you don't want to do? You pack up and leave. You can only be used and abused if you allow it. And that's the truth. Face it and make the decision that's right for you.
Depending on your mom's medical condition, she may be nursing home material. Nursing homes probably start at $7,000 a month. So here's the deal: if your siblings can't/won't help, all of mom's money will be spent caring for her in a nursing home. When it's allll gone, she can apply for Medicaid, and if she meets their criteria, Medicaid will take care of her for the rest of her life.
Her home will be gone. Her assets will be gone. But your mom will be kept save and warm and comfortable. That is, after all, what she saved her money FOR.
And you'll be free. Since your siblings don't seem to give a tinker's dam one way or t'other? They should be relieved.
Actually, I'm guessing that Stephen has just been grossly insulted by thoughtless, selfish or obstructive behaviour on the part of one or more siblings, and it feels like the last straw. Stephen, what's happened?
You have at least two other siblings. Call them both and tell them you are leaving for a week's vacation starting a week from Monday. It's up to them to provide care for mom. If they are unable to do so, call your local Senior Services social program and make an appointment to discuss other ways of caring for your mom.
Slavery was outlawed in this country. When you are someplace you don't want to be doing something you don't want to do? You pack up and leave. You can only be used and abused if you allow it. And that's the truth. Face it and make the decision that's right for you.
Depending on your mom's medical condition, she may be nursing home material. Nursing homes probably start at $7,000 a month. So here's the deal: if your siblings can't/won't help, all of mom's money will be spent caring for her in a nursing home. When it's allll gone, she can apply for Medicaid, and if she meets their criteria, Medicaid will take care of her for the rest of her life.
Her home will be gone. Her assets will be gone. But your mom will be kept save and warm and comfortable. That is, after all, what she saved her money FOR.
And you'll be free. Since your siblings don't seem to give a tinker's dam one way or t'other? They should be relieved.