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In a family of six adult children, 2 live at opposite ends of the USA, father is in the Midwest; The four siblings take care of Dad's affairs. One daughter, wants all her "inheritance"now. Dad is still very much alive. One daughter, out of state, wants all her " inheritance" now. Dad is still very much alive, just needing a little bit more attention since his wife passed away. How would you hanle this sensitive subject. PS.. Dad knows what she wants. He says the whole thing makes him sick ..

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Parents aren't obligated to leave their children anything. They can leave it all to charity if so desired.
Sounds like your sister wants to make sure she "gets hers". What nerve.
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My stepsister did the same thing, ask my mother for an advance on her inheritance.
My mother told her point blank, "I'm not dead yet, and what makes you think there will be anything left when I'm gone!" Shut her right up and hasn't asked for money since.
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Good grief!

It sounds like Sister thinks there is a set amount she is assured to inherit. Ha! No one can foresee the future and what Father's expenses will be, as others have pointed out. She'll get what she gets when he dies, just like the rest of his benificiaries.

A loan is a bad idea, as others have pointed out. A gift (to be deducted from her inheritence when the time comes) is a possibility only if it is fairly certain that Father will not need to apply for Medicaid within the next five years. Also, since an inheritence is not certain -- there may be no money left for anyone -- giving one child a gift now may be unfair to the other children.

Many, many parents have worked hard to try to provide a financial legacy to their children, only to have those funds required for their own care. It is sad, but it is reality. And it is happening more and more as people live longer and are more likely to develop expensive chronic condtions.

No inheritences in advance, please!

How would I handle the subject? "Sister, Dad is not in favor of doing this, and it upsets him. Please refrain from bringing the subject up. It isn't happening." "Dad, I'm not sure where Sister's head is. I know that she loves you, but I agree she isn't using good judgement on this subject. You've told her no and it is entirely your decision, so we can just drop the subject."
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Oh your Poor Dad! Hey my siblings wanted it to but guess what? Its Illegal !!!
If you give them his money YOU can be held responsible, they are NOT beneficiaries until he dies. Good luck!
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Nothing new to me!! I've watch family (grand kids) take items and try and sneak their grandmother with ALZ to a lawyer to sign everything over to them when the grandmother has no clue what she's doing!! Don't worry I stopped it and have her where they can't take anything from her. Don't know where some people get off thinking that anything is owed to them! Did they earn it? Did they work for it? Do they even need it? Most of the time the answer is NO. I think it just shows you what that kind of person they really are! If I was dad I would just cut her right off!! Contact a elder law attorney and see if there are legal ways of stopping her and protect your dad. What he has now he just might need in the future, you just never know! Good luck to you and dad!!
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...just when you thought you've heard it all....

I think you have your answer in the last line of your post. Your father says that the whole thing "makes him sick." There is no mistaking what he wishes to be done.

Your father should instruct all his children, so he is not singling anyone out, that inheritances, by their very definition, come AFTER someone has passed. Therefore, no one gets their share until this event has occurred.

If you need a practical reason: your father may need these funds as he ages. ALFs and NHs are extremely expensive. And if he needs addtional in-home care, Medicare pays very little.

An inheritance is not a right - it is a GIFT. There always seems to be one little weasel in every family who sees their family members as ATMs. They get in a jam and expect everyone to bail them out. I assume your sis is an adult...let her handle her own life and stop picking your dad's pocket.

I would steer away from making her a "loan" of any kind. After the fact, she will whine her way out of "repaying" it. Ask me how I know this :o(

Your owe it to your father to keep away the sharks and let his last years be happy ones. If everyone is afraid to confront her, have her read my post.
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I have heard of this before. What makes your sister think your Dad may not need his money. Elder care is very expensive. If she gets "her" inheritance now, what if nothing is left for the other five? How will they all feel? Better to wait for a real inheritance. If she truly needs money, maybe a loan or gift is in order. This can be deducted from her future inheritance.
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