Follow
Share

I have POA over my Mom. My mother has alzheimers/dementia, diabetes and incontinence and I am her primary (only) caregiver. Can my sister take guardianship without my knowledge? They (other siblings together) want me to put her in a nursing home and I refuse. I take care of my mother to the best of my abilities. My siblings absolutely give me NO help with her. I took her to a well checkup in July. The last well check up was in Jan. with no sickness in between. A nurse sees her twice a week and thinks I do a good job with her. Could my sister really do this without my knowledge or a court battle?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I would contact an attorney, and at least have a phone consultation. I think some attorneys will do an initial phone consultation at no cost. If you like he/she then possibly this attorney could help you with your situation. In addition, I have noticed a pattern with some siblings that never help out, often they will come out of the woodwork when money is involved (inheritance) and voice strong opinions. Where were they when caregiving help was needed?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Miller, think this through.

Your sisters cannot but be aware of how much nursing home fees are. Unless they are expecting your mother to die very quickly, they will therefore know that if they sell her house her money will drain away in fees. Greed doesn't make sense as a suggested motive for them unless they are profoundly ignorant and unimaginative.

I hope, on the other hand, that you will be able to account for what has been done with the money your mother raised through her reverse mortgage. It sounds as if people might be intending to look into it.

Miller if you are sure that your sister is going about this in order to get her hands on money, and you know the money isn't there, and you really don't want to put yourself or your mother through this process, then why not inform your sister of the facts concerning your mother's assets? If you're right, that will most certainly 'head her off at the pass' won't it?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

6 years ago I was a drug addict and my husband was an alcoholic up until 3 years ago. We have been living a clean and sober life since we got clean and sober. They still talk among themselves that I am still on drugs and haven't changed and am draining my mother dry to buy drugs! NONE OF IT IS TRUE!!! I've said many, many times to give me a cup and I'll pee (sorry) in it anytime! I am clean and very proud of the fact that I am. If I wasn't I would not be able to do the job that I am doing with my mother. If they would come around a little more often than what they do they would see this. I guess their lives must be boring to them that they have to try and be in mine. They are all retired from very good jobs and good be doing just about anything they want to besides trying to make my life miserable. I have nothing to hide and will live my life after my mother is gone,hopefully without regrets. They on the other hand I believe are living with plenty of them right now for the way they have treated our mother for the last 2 1/2 years and will continue with them after she is long gone. I hope they can live with themselves afterward!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I am sorry that you are in this situation.

The first visit with an attorney by your sister should open her eyes about costs.

If your sister became the guardian and sold the house, she would have to pay for Mom's nursing home costs out of the proceeds. It depends on what state you are in, but in 2012 semi-private rooms cost an average of $222 a day or more than $81,000 a year, according to a survey from MetLife cited by U.S. News & World Report.

Your sister has absolutely nothing to gain financially from this move. Can you think of any other motive she might have? Could this just be a rumor she has planted to worry you? Is she a non-very-nice person?

Dysfunctional indeed!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Probably not that much but then again if she thought she might win it she might. If she knew how little she might get out of it (like not breaking even with attorney fees) she probably wouldn't. They seem so vindictive anymore it's too close to call. Never dreamed my family was as dysfunctional as it truly is. Knew it was dysfunctional but not as bad as it really is!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Your sister probably also does not know how expensive it is to file for guardianship or that there is no guarantee that the court would appoint her as guardian. Is she willing and able to fork up about $5,000?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

she doesn't know that I know what she's up to! I just want to see if I can ward her of at the pass and protect myself and my mother! Thank you for your answers!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Your sister needs to think about who's going to pay the guardian fees if one is appointed. Maybe you should suggest that to her?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I think its all about her house which is the only asset she has.The house has a reverse mortgage on it also , so by the time she does die there will be very little money left maybe $10,000 if that (they are unaware of that)! Sorry about their luck! There is NO money hidden in any accounts. They just think they will get a cut of the house which if we were lucky may sell for 120,000 tops! Greed! For the LOVE of money is the root of all evil!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

What do you think is your sister's motive?

I believe you'll have to be served with copies of all the pleadings, so that should give you insight into her alleged grounds for seeking guardianship. Think of how you can respond to each of the allegations; get statements from your mother's physicians if you can. And it wouldn't hurt to hire your own legal counsel.

In cases of contest, the court often will appoint an independent guardian such as an attorney, who will have access to your mother's finances. And he/she will submit fee petitions which will blow your mind. If there's any money left, it'll be used up quickly once an independent guardian becomes involved.

That's not to scare you but to warn you. Be prepared and protect yourself and your mother. And start looking for your own attorney.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

She signed POA over to me 2 years ago when she was of much sounder mind than what she is now. Kazzaa you are absolutely right! They went for almost 2 years without seeing her at all and still only see her once a month at the most if then and now they want to swoop down and act like I'm not taking care of her but they sure aren't lifting a finger to help either! WTH!!!!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

No, she can't do this without your knowledge or a court battle. Before a guardianship case goes to court, the relatives are informed and invited to the hearing on the date and time stated. Your mother will need to be seen by two doctors both of whom would need to diagnose her as incompetent. Your siblings would not be able to get your mother to the doctor without your knowledge. Your siblings don't have the authority of having POA like you do. They can express their desires, but the final decision is up to you. They may not like that, but they will have to live with it. I hope this helps.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

POA only comes into effect when the parent is deemed incompetent? is your mum of sound mind? if yes only she can change it if no she is not competent you are POA and that cannot change as far as i know? How dare they? dont help but are always around to cause sh*t! see your lawyer but i dont think she can do this? Poor you i hope this works out in your favour but your mum will need a home at some stage?
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter