Youngest sibling of 4, is spending all Dad's money and sending him into enormous debt. How do we stop her?

What !! Stop this right now or your Father is going to be in trouble w/getting Medicaid if he has to go into a home. Call APS today and get it stopped. I can't believe 3 siblings let this go on for so long. Tell the sister today she is cut off and follow thru she has been enabled for way to long by everyone so this won't be easy. Nothing she is doing is in the best interest of your dad.

Why the heck are the rest of you not getting your dad to direct deposit his money and then paying his bills for him. Your brother who is living with him could write out his checks and pay his bills then there would be no money for your sister to swindle. You all need to sit down with him and tell him his bills must be paid first and that he cannot continue to support your sister. Then sit her down and let her know the free ride is stopping so she better get a job.

Call APS. A POA has to act in the best interests of the person they are representing. If they arent, a court can revoke their POA.

Also, how is Dad accruing debt? Does he have a credit card which he buys things with? What is the balance on the credit cards? Or is he taking loans or some other form of debt? Does he trust YOU enough to let you know this information? Would the older brother resign as POA or not? Voluntary resignations with successors are always good! Why didn't the older brother POA put a stop to this already?

Boy that sounds familiar what you need to do like others said get your dad to direct deposit and then do auto pay all his bills where they take all his money and pay his bills first before it can even be distributed to anyone that's what you should do then you won't worry about her even getting to it tell your dad what's going on

We need to know in some detail how competent your father is, and then who in the family has the largest demonstrated 'gift' of ethics and fairness and balance to others. Also, what is wrong with your sister who needs money from him? Then we can help you the most. We can give you information and ways to work through this. Also, do you know his total assets? (pension, SS, other, home)?

Why hasn't your older brother stopped her from getting the money? He lives there and has the POA? Is he afraid of her? Tell your brother to say no to her the next time she comes by for money. Sounds like the whole family is tired of enabling her and it is about time ya'll did this.

The brother with the POA isn't the one caring for the father. He should turn it over to the brother that is doing the caregiving. Brother with the POAs is too far away.

I am very curious who is lending money to Dad. Your profile shows that Dad has Alzheimer's/Dementia, so does he still drive to the bank or a pay-day center to obtain these loans?

Your brother who lives in California can easily take on the financial role without having to live in the same area. I have taken over my Dad's finances... all his bills now come to my house and I have all the checkbooks where my names are on the checks saying "or Jane Doe" so that I can sign the checks. Dad has zero checks to use where he lives, he doesn't need them. Dad always likes to have at least $25 in cash in his wallet and that can last him for months. Dad still have his credit card to use for doctor appointments or once in a great while when his caregiver takes him out for fast food treat, Dad will insist on paying.

If your Dad has a credit card, time to take it away from him... it won't be easy as one feels they have independence have a credit card. Or if he insists on having one, get him a new one that has a low max limit.

And for someone to erase the word ATM off of your Dad's forehead.

Another thing I was thinking when someone mentioned credit cards, what I would do is try to get a hold of any credit card bill coming to his house. What you can do is see if the post office will forward all of his mail to your house or PO Box. That way, you have a much better chance of getting a hold of the credit card bills. What you can do next it is call each credit card company and stop all of the cards. Another thing you can do if he needs a nursing home is to just not pay any more money to those credit card companies. Those credit cards are actually considered low priority by law, so you pay them as you can. First, straighten out your dad's financial situation before tackling any debt. When it's time to tackle the debt, use his money to pay down the debt until it's paid off and don't let any more be charged. This is why I strongly suggest stopping all of his cards.

Mentioning cards, I have another thought about the debit card. You can stop your dad's debit card by speaking to the bank and asking them to order him a new card to replace the old one, but have them send that card to you if you intend on taking over his affairs. Make sure the two cards don't get mixed up. The bank should have a card shredder for old cards, they should shred the old one for you. I should also mention that I like the idea of someone mentioning APS, definitely go that route. They may not act right away without what they consider the right amount of information, they need as much information as possible from as many informants as possible. I faced this with my foster dad when I had to go secretly speak to APS due to our situation because I was definitely in no position to take on the full task of caregiving. This was well outside of my abilities and I need outside help. Don't be disappointed if APS doesn't jump right away, they may not. Don't be discouraged, they'll eventually step in if you're persistent. Don't give up or give in, hang in there!