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10 months ago sister at hospital no one informed our mother fell and there took POA. Lied to brother out of state saying she was home. Tells no one anything. Banned entire family, other siblings grandchildren from seeing her. POA threatens us if we ask anything. Nurses when we tracked down where she is or was poa banned us. Then that place had my mother sign something after this saying so also. She is 88 years old mind wonders. We are devastated by all this. We are heartbroken. My mother would never do this to any of us especially her grandchildren. POA has always had issues with the family. Can someone help we want our time with her. This is just a short verse of it. POA says she will have us arrested if we stop at her house and ask questions. Never returns calls etc


Please someone

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What do you mean "took POA". You can't take POA Mom would have to assign and she is not able to do that.
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Zothy111 Jun 2019
Not one of us knew she was in the hospital. The person that had health care proxy was threatened over their children single parent if they told about where our mother was. Now she got it by keeping everyone in the dark. My mothers mind doesn't always work correctly dayes times years. That is how. Sibling threatens everyone if they ask about mother grandmother she will call police etc. If you understood the history of this person with the family you would understand.
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This has been going on for 10 months!!  If that had been my Mom, I would have gone to an Elder Care Attorney within the first month and would have applied for Guardianship and Conservatorship ASAP. 

What are you waiting for?  Why are you not fighting legally for the right to see your  Mom and to get the (most likely illegal) POA away from your sister?  Why are you not talking to an Elder Care Attorney about petitioning for Guardianship ASAP?  Have you talked to APS?  Have you reported your sister's behaviors to any Elder Abuse agency?

As soon as the Social Service Assistant at the nursing home where my Mom was residing told me that ALL OF MY VISITS WOULD BE SUPERVISED [and helped my Mom revoke me as her DPOA]--I called an attorney the next day and I petitioned for Guardianship and Conservatorship THAT WEEK.  It took over $10,000 and 4 months of meetings with Mom's Court Appointed Attorney Ad Litem, my attorney and our family attorney, BUT the Attorney Ad Litem REVOKED the DPOA that Mom had signed removing me from being her DPOA (which I had been since Dad died several years before) and RETURNING the DPOA to me.  I then met with the State Elder Ombudsman along with the Nurse Manager and Social Service Director of the nursing home where Mom was residing and arranged for the Social Service Assistant to have NO further contact with Mom, with me, with Mom's family, and she was to never attend a single of Mom's Resident Care Conference.  {Little hard for her to do her job as Social Service Assistant when she couldn't talk with a specific resident.}

You need to fight for your Mom's right to see her family.  Keep a journal of what has happened the last 10 months and what is happening and will happen when you start talking to an Elder Care Attorney.  Be prepared for your sister/sibling to lie through the entire process and be prepared for a major, major fight between your sibling, your Mom, the facility staff and your family.  Good Luck.
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Zothy111 Jun 2019
Called attorneys all over too bisy or don't handle it call elder abuse tried everything
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My mother i talked to once during this on phone the fear in her afraid she would get into trouble for taliking to me sibling has twisted her head she said they have rules here i will get into trouble etc i called elder abuse right after that call. Sibling manipulated her to get it.
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Jada824 Jun 2019
My sibling is doing the same thing to me. I haven’t seen my 97 year old mom in almost 2 years now & she lives across the street from me. He has banned myself & my kids from seeing or speaking to her & calls the police & says we are harassing her if we try. She too is afraid to go against what sibling tells her.
i found out he took her to a lawyer & had her amend her trust removing myself & my kids & leaving everything to him 100%. I know she was capable of understanding any of this because prior to all this happening I was the one caring for her.
i have called Elder Affairs numerous times, called my senator’s office & spoke to a few different lawyers. Nothing has been done for the past 2 years to help me.
i am now waiting for a reply from the senator’s office since they are pushing elderly affairs to do an investigation into elder financial abuse. Before they got involved elderly affairs told me “pretend she’s dead & move on with your life”.
I wish you all the luck with your situation. There will be a judgement day!
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Go to this website

http://ww2.nycourts.gov/ip/adr/cdrc.shtml

and look up your nearest Community Dispute Resolution Center.

To explain how this will help I can't do better than quote their own introduction:

"The Community Dispute Resolution Centers Program represents the Unified Court System's commitment to provide citizens with opportunities to develop their own solutions to the issues that might otherwise bring them to court." - Honorable Lawrence K. Marks, Chief Administrative Judge

The New York State Unified Court System partners with local non-profit organizations, known as CDRCs, to provide mediation, arbitration and other dispute resolution options as an alternative to court. Every year, CDRCs help thousands of New Yorkers resolve a wide range of disputes involving:
Landlords and Tenants 
Neighbors
Consumers and Merchants
Parents and Children
Child Custody and Visitation (Parenting Issues)
Families and Schools
Elder Adult Decisions
Victim-Offender Dialogue

A word to the wise - this is NOT about your right to time with your mother. This is about your mother's right to contact with all of her family. But any judicial system or elder care specialist is going to put your mother's best interests first, and forcing conflict on the sibling who is her primary caregiver is not in your mother's best interests. Calm down about your sister, stop hating her and stop blaming her for everything, or you will get nowhere.
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