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I have a situation with mom regarding her care. I have health care power of attorney for mom as specified in her living trust as well as financial Durable Power of Attorney. My sister has placed mom in an Independent Living facility far away from me without my consent or approval and has coerced mom to remove me from the primary designated agent on mom's Advance Health Care directive in her Living Trust. I believe my sister has also removed me as Mom's financial decision maker and has taken over her bank account and is spending money without consideration for mom's best interest. Mom has dementia and I know that she needs at the very least, trained Assisted Living not independent living with a service coming in to help out. I have attempted to settle differences with my sister by both meeting and resolving our differences face-to-face or by mediation, however she refuses to talk directly to me. My sister is planning on returning to her home in Northern California soon, and I am concerned about mom after my sister leaves. I feel that she needs to be closer to me since I live in Irvine (Orange County, CA) and I need to be in charge of her health care and financial decisions since this was mom's original intent prior to being diagnosed with dementia.

I will proceed forward with seeking the assistance of an attorney, and since this is a special circumstance, does anyone have any recommendations for the type of attorney that I will need? Elder Law, Family attorney or something else? Any suggestions would greatly be appreciated.

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all of you who have posted that it is not possible to change POA after someone has been diagnosed with dementia/Alz is WRONG! My mother changed hers twice and I filed for guardianship and was told that the burden of proof that she was not in her right mind when she signed the last one was on me. Her Dr said with Alz they have good days and bad and my moms lawyer said she was having a good day when she signed the 2nd POA and so did the lawyer who drew up the POA and changed will! The 2 are sticking together and backing each other, I'm sure because they don't want to be held responsible for not checking and making sure she was competent at the time. Getting no where with this, so document, document, document, keep a daily journal!
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What do you all think about the idea of just accepting that your family is dysfunctional, parents have made bad choices and have to live with the consequences, and just going no contact? How much effort is a child supposed to make to save them from themselves?
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Is mom in CA or NC? You would have to file for Guardianship in the county where she is living now.
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Keep records of everything, phone calls, visits, everything. You can consult with Adult Protective Services and/or an attorney. If you mom is not capable of making decisions due to dementia then she would not be able to change the advance directive/health care agent. It's always difficult when siblings disagree what's best for mom, but if mom completed the paperwork for you to be her agent before she became unable to make decisions, then I would think she picked you for a reason. Family conflicts are the worst. You must do what is best for your mom, despite what your sister wants. I wish you good luck.
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There is an abundance of good advice on here. I would like to add a twist. This happened to my sister and I. My mother played us both against each other ever since we can remember. She puts on a very sweet act to get what she wants. She had my sister and I at odds constantly telling us how the other was doing "whatever". We avoided speaking to each other thinking the other was trying to take advantage of "poor" mom, which worked out well for Mom's little games. However she pulled a move that totally exposed her, and it opened our eyes to her Dementia and Narcissism. Once we realized what was really going on and pulled together it was quite the eye opener. We are working together now. Be sure to get a full picture and not just a one sided one especially if all the info is coming from Mom with Dementia.
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The original POA should still be valid, one person has been diagnosed as having dementia or Alzheimer's that paperwork can't b changed unless the original POA has mismanaged mom finances or neglected her in some fashion. I will be praying God will favor you.
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I really don't know what kind of attorney you would need but if you are the POA you need to get a close view of what is going on with mom's money. Its so sad when family members take advantage of their parents, when their sick with demetia and can't remember its sad and it happens more and more. I hope you can find someone and take care of your mom because if your sister spends all the money, then if something happens to mom its all may end up in your lap which isn't fair. praying for you.
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Some people, perhaps like your mom get persuaded to change POA's without the other sibling knowing it....This is what happened to me. I was both my mom and my dad's POA, dad passed and my brother brought mom to a lawyer and got her to sign all these papers and now I am nothing....The lawyer went along with all of it because he wanted his money. Sad situation...but Karma will do his job when he needs to..
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I had a situation with my sisters that I reported to Adult Protective Services. Because my Mom told the investigator that my sisters had her permission to spend her money as they wished (which, of course, is on themselves), that the state investigator didn't do anything about it. According to one of my sisters, Mom's dementia was noted in her medical records, but that probably isn't true, since the case was closed just on my Mom's statement alone. So, nothing happened and my sisters are still going about taking my Mom's money.

I went to an Elder attorney, but the laws are so new in our state regarding Elder Financial Abuse, that he was charging us for doing research. We can do that ourselves.

Be prepared that you can spend literally thousands of dollars bringing charges against your siblings, and nothing will happen. That is just the reality.

I ended up choosing to walk away from my family of origin, am getting extremely helpful counseling to manage it all for myself. It is not worth the heartache or the money.

If your Mother wants your help, your result may be different. Good luck.
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This is why when I told the lawyer that I trusted my brother completely when it came to guardianship and both medical and financial issues of our Mom, she almost fell off her chair. I realize most people fight over parents, money etc. and who has the power. Whether is stems from dysfunctional family dynamics (we have ours) or plain greed or false sense of 'what is right'.

At this point get a lawyer who only does elder law. (not the local nice guy who does it all in your neighborhood) They will help you navigate the system and give you sound advice about everything you need to do. Your lawyer will also let you know if they think the court might appoint someone else to handle your Moms affairs - which can happen. But since your Mom has dementia, at this point she needs guardianship.
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