Does anyone have siblings that don't help their parents adhere to doctor's instructions because they feel their parents are "just going to die anyway' and should do what they want?
Ahh, the siblings that do not provide tge care! We do the best we can do and doctor's are advocates for the parent and caregiver. I would ask the doctor for a letter, or even a note on prescription pad with their recommendations. It seems that if you did not adhere to doctor's orders you could open yourself up to abuse investigation by adult protective services.
Many non caregiving relatives has the attitude that anything they wantnshould be allowed. Sometimes that causes other medical or behavioral issues. Do as the docs say, not what your sibs think!
WOD, Education should never be confused with Common Sense. Ron White said "You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take; there's not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever."
For those who think low sodium doesn't make a difference: when mom stopped going out for lunch and stayed with the ALF low sodium fare, she lost ten pounds, the leg swelling went down and the shortness of breath improved, all within a month. BP lowered and so did heart rate. So if you want to kill them off, pass the salt. It won't be pretty.
My sister was supportive of my mother not taking her antipsychotic meds. Mother ended up suicidal and spent a year in a geriatric psychiatric hospital till they got her back on them. She might have done it on her own anyway, but my sister did not help and was critical of me for wanting mother to continue on them. It makes the caregiver's job that much more difficult and I sympathize with you. There are many stories on here about uncooperative and obstructive siblings who don't help but criticize.
Is your sibling close enough to go to the doctor or dietician who prescribed this diet with you to get the story from them?
Everyone is just "going to die anyway." That does not mean we should not do what is right for our health.
Is your sib waiting for their inheritance and wanting your parents to die sooner? Many have that agenda.
I cut contact with my sister after years of verbal abuse and share information as needed with her daughter, my niece. I don't need any more of it.
BTW who has POA financial and medical? Are your parents living with you or in their own home. You have a huge load with two parents to care for.
My battle was with cigarettes. The smokers feel we should allow occasional cigarette. Mom has hypertension and COPD, among many other problems. No inheritance issues, they just feel she should have quality of life over quantity. Ok, so are they available 24/7 to sleep at hospital and handle the after care? They used to sneak cigarettes to her. Since my brother passed and I fired the previous caregivers, it hasn't been an issue. I don't claim to be perfect but I'm the only one here. Me and the dogs and the crickets.
I think it always a balancing act with nutrition and hygiene with elders. It's not realistic to expect old folks to maintain our levels of diet and grooming. You do the best given the circumstances you have. A low sodium diet is fine if your parents don't fight it. If they don't want it, so what. Will they only live to 100 instead of 102? As for the sibs, tell em go............yourself.
Thank you for all the advice and comments. My sibling and in-law are morbidly obese and don't take care of their own health. I would be surprised if they live past 65. That is another issue - since it's not a big deal to them, they don't think it's a big deal for my parents. Wrong. Even sadder, they are not uneducated people. They know better but are too unmotivated to help themselves let alone anyone else. Maybe I expect too much.
To WornOutDaughter, Yes. We do have siblings that think they know better than we do. Not so much that our parent is going to die anyway, but that they just know more about everything. Medicine, nutrition, clothing, anything and everything. I used to try to defend my actions, but realize that's useless so now I just do like I did when my kids were babies. I smile, say thank you, I'll take that into consideration and then do what I want to do.
Ha - We're ALL going to die someday, but I can't run around eating cake and ice cream all day long, every day. What kind of logic is that?
Until a doctor and hospice tell me mom is really, really, really near the end, she is going to be on her meds and restricted diet. The end, no discussion.
It helps A LOT that my mom is in a memory care facility where the meals are prepared by the kitchen to the diet orders for each person. Mom gets low sodium, kidney disease, diabetic meals and snacks every day.
If I let her have the McDonalds and pizza and dark pop like she wants, she'd be dead from a stroke or kidney failure in short order. She's not on hospice, so there's no point aggravating her conditions.
Yay Vikki, I am with you and am stunned too that people do not feel they should have to modify their lifestyle to stay healthy. Your cousin certainly is an example. In my experience, you are an unusual for a medically trained person.
Diet and exercise can prevent or treat adult onset diabetes. Metabolic syndrome is primarily caused by obesity and inactivity (quote from Mayo Clinic). Cardiovascular disease is linked to diet and lack of exercise and other lifestyle factors. I have to continually adjust my diet and activity as I age I order to not gain weight, and to keep my blood sugar, blood fats and blood pressure in a good range. In doing so, I concentrate on getting the biggest nutritional bang for the buck, so to speak. Untypically as I age, I have found I have less desire for sweet things. Fruits are fine for that and them in moderation. I agree that you can adjust your tastes for salt and , I have found, also for sugar. I eat a little whole grains, some legumes, coloured veggies, lean meats or fish, eggs in moderation, nuts, coconut milk yogurt a little dark chocolate and some fruit - mainly berries. I largely avoid processed foods. Cakes, pie etc. are a very rare treat. A common one is a single brown rice cookie. I make muffins from ground flax sometimes - low carb. I know my calorie needs are lower than they used to be and will continue to drop. I don't need much more that about 1600 calories.
It isn't rocket science. If we want to stay healthy, we have to adjust what we eat and how much we exercise accordingly. I find there is plenty of good tasty healthy food, even with my gluten and dairy allergies. My afternoon snack was a plate of mushrooms sautéed in a little coconut oil.
Off my soap box.
I gather part of the issue is that the sib brings high sodium meals over for her parents and they eat them.
Many non caregiving relatives has the attitude that anything they wantnshould be allowed. Sometimes that causes other medical or behavioral issues. Do as the docs say, not what your sibs think!
Is your sibling close enough to go to the doctor or dietician who prescribed this diet with you to get the story from them?
Everyone is just "going to die anyway." That does not mean we should not do what is right for our health.
Is your sib waiting for their inheritance and wanting your parents to die sooner? Many have that agenda.
I cut contact with my sister after years of verbal abuse and share information as needed with her daughter, my niece. I don't need any more of it.
BTW who has POA financial and medical? Are your parents living with you or in their own home. You have a huge load with two parents to care for.
Take care of you!
Until a doctor and hospice tell me mom is really, really, really near the end, she is going to be on her meds and restricted diet. The end, no discussion.
It helps A LOT that my mom is in a memory care facility where the meals are prepared by the kitchen to the diet orders for each person. Mom gets low sodium, kidney disease, diabetic meals and snacks every day.
If I let her have the McDonalds and pizza and dark pop like she wants, she'd be dead from a stroke or kidney failure in short order. She's not on hospice, so there's no point aggravating her conditions.
Diet and exercise can prevent or treat adult onset diabetes. Metabolic syndrome is primarily caused by obesity and inactivity (quote from Mayo Clinic). Cardiovascular disease is linked to diet and lack of exercise and other lifestyle factors. I have to continually adjust my diet and activity as I age I order to not gain weight, and to keep my blood sugar, blood fats and blood pressure in a good range. In doing so, I concentrate on getting the biggest nutritional bang for the buck, so to speak. Untypically as I age, I have found I have less desire for sweet things. Fruits are fine for that and them in moderation. I agree that you can adjust your tastes for salt and , I have found, also for sugar. I eat a little whole grains, some legumes, coloured veggies, lean meats or fish, eggs in moderation, nuts, coconut milk yogurt a little dark chocolate and some fruit - mainly berries. I largely avoid processed foods. Cakes, pie etc. are a very rare treat. A common one is a single brown rice cookie. I make muffins from ground flax sometimes - low carb. I know my calorie needs are lower than they used to be and will continue to drop. I don't need much more that about 1600 calories.
It isn't rocket science. If we want to stay healthy, we have to adjust what we eat and how much we exercise accordingly. I find there is plenty of good tasty healthy food, even with my gluten and dairy allergies. My afternoon snack was a plate of mushrooms sautéed in a little coconut oil.
Off my soap box.
I gather part of the issue is that the sib brings high sodium meals over for her parents and they eat them.
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