Sibling angry because I try to help parents adhere to low sodium diet; feels they should eat anything they want despite CHF. Advice?

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Does anyone have siblings that don't help their parents adhere to doctor's instructions because they feel their parents are "just going to die anyway' and should do what they want?

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Sandwich a stroke may or may not make Mom a vegetable as you know but she would not enjoy the build up of fluid in her body. Can't eat because of a belly full of fluid, can't breath because the waves are lapping in her lungs and legs so swollen the skin pops and she has weeping ulcers. Not a pretty sight.
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My mom complains and says that if she has another stroke she doesn't care because she'll be dead. Well, that's not guaranteed. You can end up a vegetable from a stroke.

It is very difficult to win this battle doing care at home. Thank heavens my mom is in a facility where she gets her meals prepared by the kitchen. She gets a diabetic/kidney/High BP diet and that's that. She thinks that's the same thing everybody else gets, and even though she doesn't like it, it's what there is. There's no access to snacks in a cupboard, and complaining does nothing.

If mom were on hospice, then I say let 'er rip. Cake, burgers, pizza, and all the pepsi she can guzzle.
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Yay Vikki, I am with you and am stunned too that people do not feel they should have to modify their lifestyle to stay healthy. Your cousin certainly is an example. In my experience, you are an unusual for a medically trained person.

Diet and exercise can prevent or treat adult onset diabetes. Metabolic syndrome is primarily caused by obesity and inactivity (quote from Mayo Clinic). Cardiovascular disease is linked to diet and lack of exercise and other lifestyle factors. I have to continually adjust my diet and activity as I age I order to not gain weight, and to keep my blood sugar, blood fats and blood pressure in a good range. In doing so, I concentrate on getting the biggest nutritional bang for the buck, so to speak. Untypically as I age, I have found I have less desire for sweet things. Fruits are fine for that and them in moderation. I agree that you can adjust your tastes for salt and , I have found, also for sugar. I eat a little whole grains, some legumes, coloured veggies, lean meats or fish, eggs in moderation, nuts, coconut milk yogurt a little dark chocolate and some fruit - mainly berries. I largely avoid processed foods. Cakes, pie etc. are a very rare treat. A common one is a single brown rice cookie. I make muffins from ground flax sometimes - low carb. I know my calorie needs are lower than they used to be and will continue to drop. I don't need much more that about 1600 calories.

It isn't rocket science. If we want to stay healthy, we have to adjust what we eat and how much we exercise accordingly. I find there is plenty of good tasty healthy food, even with my gluten and dairy allergies. My afternoon snack was a plate of mushrooms sautéed in a little coconut oil.

Off my soap box.

I gather part of the issue is that the sib brings high sodium meals over for her parents and they eat them.
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If siblings feel your food is not tasty enough, sibling should be cooking for parents. I can see why this would bother you. I am sure your meals are fine.
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OMG, yes, yes, YES! My sibling is a NURSE also; helps the bare minimal amount but has no shortage of stupid, snotty, uppity ("I'm THE top medical professional in the entire world") advice.

It has pretty much destroyed our relationship.

I truly feel for you; I understand how antagonistic this can become.
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Some things you compromise on, some things you don't. I say if two pickles and a bag of chips will push you over the edge into the hospital, stick with one pickle slice on the low-sodium turkey sandwich. You can get your taste buds used to lower salt, it is not that hard. Eat just the things that taste good without salt for a while and it will come naturally.

I remain stunned at the number of people who find it unimaginable that they should have to modify lifestyle or diet in order to preserve health and mobility. I don't know whether to blame that on advertising and constant jokes and funnies about how it is too hard to get off the couch or stop stuffing yourself full of high fat, high sugar treats and desserts as a steady diet. I think about all the outrageous commericals of slender, healthy, active people eating various candy bars and presenting a picture of who absolutely blissful it is to do this. (Some people can just have those things occasionally; I'm someone who truly has to avoid them altogether if I want to stay un-diabetic...and I won't even get into the rampant denial of the seriousness of long term consequences of that...OK I'll get into it - I have a cousin who brags on FB about eating waffles with syrup and cinnamon buns and weighs 300 lbs, needs u100 insulin, and has now developed fatty liver, but is pleased that it has made her blood sugar lower so she thinks she can eat even more carbs - in other areas of her life she is absolutely brilliant.) Morbid obesity is not a benign condition; even without diabetes in the picture there is high inflammation in the body, wear and tear on the joints, risk of sleep apnea, and even some evidence that poor sleep the inflammation affects brain function, hence the endorsement of Pam's comment above.

Now, that said, I have to admit that yes, you make some allowances and don't go overboard on optimal diet when quality of life is paramount and nothing much you do or don't do will add many years of health; sometimes whatever brings on a good mood and certainly when the first goal is just to get adequate calories into someone with a poor appetite, an ADA 1200 or 1400 calorie plan makes no sense. But that's for when the horse is already out of the barn, IMHO.
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What does your mom want?

Does she want to eat low sodium, or does she really enjoy other (higher sodium) foods?
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The problem is not the diet, but that the sib is interfering. The sib is angry and it makes WOD angry. WOD ought to just smile and say I'll take that into consideration, like the other poster said. The sib will just have to be angry. WOD is not responsible for sib's anger.
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Ha - We're ALL going to die someday, but I can't run around eating cake and ice cream all day long, every day. What kind of logic is that?

Until a doctor and hospice tell me mom is really, really, really near the end, she is going to be on her meds and restricted diet. The end, no discussion.

It helps A LOT that my mom is in a memory care facility where the meals are prepared by the kitchen to the diet orders for each person. Mom gets low sodium, kidney disease, diabetic meals and snacks every day.

If I let her have the McDonalds and pizza and dark pop like she wants, she'd be dead from a stroke or kidney failure in short order. She's not on hospice, so there's no point aggravating her conditions.
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To WornOutDaughter, Yes. We do have siblings that think they know better than we do. Not so much that our parent is going to die anyway, but that they just know more about everything. Medicine, nutrition, clothing, anything and everything. I used to try to defend my actions, but realize that's useless so now I just do like I did when my kids were babies. I smile, say thank you, I'll take that into consideration and then do what I want to do.
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