My mom lives with us and has short-term memory. We're moving in 3-4 months and we haven't told her. Should we be honest and tell her or keep it quiet until the last minute? - AgingCare.com

My mom lives with us and has short-term memory. We're moving in 3-4 months and we haven't told her. Should we be honest and tell her or keep it quiet until the last minute?

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We're going to be moving out of state and taking my mother. She has short term memory and is 95. We moved her in with us 4 months ago. We haven't told her. We're probably moving in 3-4 months. Should we be honest with her and let her know what's happening or keep it quiet until the last minute. Really don't know what to do and need help. She's healthy, but can't be left alone. Her granddaughter lives down here with 2 little children that my mom adores and will miss very much. Mom is also very stubborn and tries to be independent. What should I do. GEP.

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Since she already knows something is happening I would tell she will ask a million questions when pts. would ask me again and again the same question sometimes if I asked them that question they would give me the right answer it was wried. May she can help plan her room in the new house like the color or curtains etc. good luck it must be very upseting to have to relocate at that age and then again. My Mother is too sharp do not throw anything at me but she knows what to tell each of us my sister was planning a trip for months and hours before she was to leave my Mon told me that she had been sick for days but did not tell my sister who lives closeby and I live states away she has done this before when my sister is planning a trip she still told me my sister does not know that she is sick which is not true as Judge Judy says if you tell the truth you do not need a good memory she told my sister's husband not to tell my sister and she tells my sister she is better and tells me the truth-she is 91 and very cagy.
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The truth is always first instinct with me, so I would go with that, It has never failed me before. but I always happy afterward no guilt or shame after telling the truth!, maybe once in a lifetime, to save face to or to prevent any damages I mght tell a lil white lie to spare hurt feeings!
I a sure tdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddu
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You are in fla and moving to sc? Are u nuts? I live in sc...Columbia...I would kill to get out of here...I am from Ga. I wanna go home so badly....
But momma wants to be buryed next to my dad...Like I could not fly her in...
But she had to be here so here we are.....Leaving fla to come to sc....This state sucks you in and you never leave..So get ready...Hugs to you...Sharon
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Tell her. She is not going to remember it. then you can always say.....Hey we told you. stop the dramatics...They do not remember. my mom used to ask this one girl every ten min,....Where do you work? She became creative....At target.....Then where do you work? At target in the warehouse. where do you work again? about 2 hours away from here. So see they are not going to remember it....So tell her then if she gets upset and tries the YOU DID NOT TELL ME GABIT....You can say...Ohhh yes I did..do not make a big deal out of it...just say it matter of fact...I go to my mom and ask here and there.....are u in there today...I need to talk...She will speak and shortly I know..Forget that one..she is on mars, pluto, somewhere but not here....So go for it...What is she going to do? Not remember it? Well....Yeah......and when you get in the car to move...You are taking a road trip...Just do not make a big deal out of it. She will be fine.....Sharon
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Your sharing in this entire post and discussion thread is inspiring to me, pricetag. Been there, though not on the relocation category. I understand.
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I have tears for you and your dear Mom, pricetag. I am proud of you for crying right along with her. Sometimes that is the most comforting and caring thing we can do for our loved ones and ourselves - to not hide our feelings, especially when there is nothing more we can do over and above what all we have already done. I am so glad your Mom had a good cry, too! May sound strange, but I believe that tears are healing, especially in real-time. Bottled-necked tears are toxic as far as I am concerned.
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Mom just told me she heard me talk to someone about moving her, and she wanted to know where? I mentioned SC.I informed her that we were selling the house(trying) and moving, taking her with us. I explained everything, and how great a new change it would be for all of us. The conversation ended and I left the room, heard a noise and it was mom crying. My heart broke in a thousand pieces. She was afraid she would die, since she will be 95 in Sept and shouldn't travel. or move. I cried with her and tried to comfort her that everything will alright. She wanted to stay in Florida, this was her home, but I tried to tell her, we had no choice and she'll be with us. I have tears right now, I feel so bad for her, she was moved from her condo to live with us, car taken away and now another move. It's just not fair.
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Glad we were able to share. You will feel like a huge load has been lifted once you let her know. Best to you and your Mom. Hang in there. I know it's tough,
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She saw our other grandchildren on skype last week and was amazed how they have grown up. My niece has skype as well as my sister who lives in Colorado. The great grandchildren who live in this area are young, ages 9 months and 1 1/2 years old. She adores the older girl. Thanks for your suggestions. I'll be relieved after she knows, it's very hard trying to do a little packing without her seeing or hearing me.
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I just saw that you have Skype, so the calling card suggestion is a moot point. Does she understand the unrestricted access she'll have with Skype across the miles?
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