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Hi - my mom's vascular dementia has been progressing and she's sleeping a lot more often. Her birthday is this week, and I don't know whether to celebrate, or if so, 'how much' to celebrate. When I mentioned to her last night about us coming to visit her for her birthday, she just said 'oh, ok' and then closed her eyes again. I'm afraid to make too much of a fuss because then she'll be sad and want to go home for her birthday. Yet I can't 'not' celebrate it....unsure of what to do. I realize that regardless of what we do, the next day she probably won't remember. I just don't want to upset her in any way. Any suggestions??

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Don't fuss to much, I think if it were me I would arrange to be there for a birthday lunch, does the nursing home accommodate guests for meals, perhaps in a separate dining area? You could provide a little cake or cup cakes and ice cream and open whatever small gifts you would normally give. By then she will probably be ready for a nap!
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No big party, please. Have each couple visit for a few minutes and keep the total visit time short to avoid wearing her out. No screaming kids, please.
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Its just me, my husband and my dad...we won't overstay or overwhelm. Guessing little is better a lot.
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