Should a therapist do this, or is it crossing the line?

I am a therapist and I think she is crossing a boundary here. The fee that you both agree upon can be adjusted at any time as long as you both agree upon it and adjusted fee and you are not using insurance. However what she is doing sounds more like a way to bribe you to come into her office. I believe there are alternative ways of working to build up your self esteem and to also to motivate you to make friends. Plus it is highly inappropriate to introduce you to her family. It is not your job to remind her that she is your therapist. It is not her job to "Show you" that you are a likable person. It is a change in your own belief system that needs to take place. You may have a belief that you are not OK and only you can make the choice to change that belief. Her job is to give you the tools to do just that. I have may client that I would love to have as friends, however I know that will never happen. That is not our relationship. We are therapist and client. 

It sounds to me like she's been very inappropriate by crossing lines. It doesn't sound like she's being very professional from your description. What I would do is print off your last session if you haven't already or even if you decide on another session, just print it off or take a screenshot of it if you have no printer. I would also get a copy of the link if this is through an actual website or contact the service admins to report that particular user. Another thing you can also do is find out what agency she works through and contact them, but let them know you printed out a copy of the session or you have screenshots of it. Another thing you want to find out is who licenses therapists and contact them. If you have some form of proof of what was on the screen, let those people also know

Hi Ruthroll, actually you're right. She had told me she was building up her own practice and probably wanted to "steal" me away from TALKSPACE website company. And it wasnt that she "liked" me, or wanted to build up my self esteem. As I think about this, she was manipulating and encouraging me to move to her city to be a client! And occasionally she would reinforce my psychological issues verbally to keep me coming for therapy and then eventually convert me to her own client. So that makes sense to me more so than her trying to develop a personal relationship with me. Thanks.

Gardenartist and midkid58 are absolutely spot on, I have always been taught to listen to my inner voice that if I get the feeling something isn't right, listen to it. This therapist is leading you down the wrong path.

I think the fact that therapists and clients are matched by state undercuts the concept that the relationship needs to be based not only on professional criteria, but also that both need to be matched in terms of experience, expertise, professionalism, client background, personality, etc.

I do understand that an attempt to provide proximity might be appropriate as I think a therapeutic relationship benefits from personal contact (as does just basic human interaction). But I just don't see otherwise how someone's residence has anything to do with providing competent therapy.

Bloom, in real life the therapist could be a lot of things, besides mean and nasty. She could be lonely, very lonely. She could be in a bad marriage. She could be anything, and used the therapeutic relationship to meet her own individual needs.

But I think that building her own clientele makes a lot of sense. I would suspect that's probably a violation of the terms by which she was hired, but frankly, I wouldn't get involved in that.

If she's done this with you, it's possible it's made overtures to other clients, and eventually management (as well as professional licensing entities) may become aware of it. That isn't your battle, so don't enlist.

And be circumspect about people with whom you share your actions. I always automatically document certain situations, but I would never tell people I have unless I feel the need to use mild threats. Don't tip your hand, and don't put yourself in any potentially unsafe position.

A legitimate therapist keeps a distance from his/her clients . They are not supposed to have close personal relationships with clients. A "personal friend" relationship would cloud their objectivity and decrease ability to be therapeutic.

Well I think its a combination of things. She wants clients for her own business, she is single and older so maybe like GardenArtist said she is using this relationship to meet her own emotional needs. She was always telling me that I'm a good guy, once she said she loves me upon concluding a session. I thought that was strange. I was there to help myself not to address her needs. But I hope she finds what she's looking for.

Hi. Bloomschool. As a former therapist. I never said that to one client ever. It's just not done. And to be 100 percent honest , I never did love a client. Sure I liked them. They liked me. That's really normal or therapists wouldn't be hired. You kind of have to be a people person to go into this field. But there are boundaries. There has to be or it becomes 100 percent non therapeutic. Glad you have severed all ties

I also recalled a text message through the talk space.com system (where all texting occurs) where she typed 4 heart symbols ❤❤❤❤. That was in the morning following a Skype session the night before. I thought that was strange. Very strange.

Sounds fishy to me!! I certainly wouldn't do it!! You can always find a therapist after you move!!

Uhhhh......YEAH!!!! Soooo unprofessional!! I would report to Talkspace. I don't care where you both live, she should not be getting this close to you. If you do get that close then quit using her as a "therapist" and just be a friends. However.....be cautious with this person. She might be after more than friendship and helping you with your therapy......as in MONEY. Good Luck and God Bless.

I quit therapy and the therapist wished me luck, gave another excuse. And I posed the problem in a general way to Talkspace, and they responded that this behavior is not something that a therapist would do. They cancelled my account. And that's that! :)

I meant to throw in here, earlier that I brought this up with my therapist and she was appalled. She said the line between client and therapist is sacred. Example: If I am out and see her, I can initiate conversation, if I want. If she sees me, she does not acknowledge me, as that is "outing" a person. She said the rules are in place to protect everyone involved.

I hope your "therapist" gets more than a talking to---she needs to be fired!

Thanks Midkid. I don't quite understand the term "outing a person". But I get the intent sort of. That's good to know you asked your therapist. Now I feel more convinced I was being used. I don't think anything will happen to my ex therapist.