Should your parents visit their home after being gone for months? - AgingCare.com

Should your parents visit their home after being gone for months?

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Family is wanting to get together at our parents home; may be hard. Having get together's at our parents home when they no longer live there may be hard on them. Once the get together is over, they would return to the nursing facility where they now live.

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No, don't do this. Do you even know if the nursing home consider it ok for them to go out? If you take them out even to another place that will get their hopes up about going home and be extremely let down when they don't.
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No, that would be so very hard for them --- perhaps you can have the family get together that is someplace that is familiar to them - church, local hall, restaurant,
have the family bring lots of photos, stories of good times and lots of good cheer, have a wonderful time, share lots of memories and spare your parents and you the sadness of having to have them leave their home again.
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Who is living at the house now?
Have they changed interior & yard so that is not the momma daddy museum?

If so, and parents know or knew this happened, I think it can be done. I moved my mom to IL and much of her bedroom, LR, DR moved with her. Goodwill & garage saled most of the rest. Left a few things to have a crash pad. When I would come in to visit mom & deal with property, I would take her to her old hairdresser in the old neighborhood where she would spend the better part of the afternoon. hairdressers daughter would often bring mom from the salon to the old house on her way to get her daughter from school. Mom was ok on being at the house. She had moved on emotionally from the house. & it looked very different from when she lived there (50 yrs too). It can be done but the house has to be visually different & parents & you moved on emotionally too.

I would however be concerned with siblings & in-laws getting all maudlin & memory triggering or judgemental on their being in a facility or on the house having new owners which could make parents feed off these emotions. You know your family best if this is likely to happen. Good luck in whatever you do.
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Absolutely not! After 2.5n years in a lovely NH my mother still obsesses and grieves 24/7 for her old home.
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It will break your heart and theirs. You can't even imagine the sorrow. Please, please don't do this. I think a get together in the NH would go a long way in making them more comfortable and happy there.
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I dont think this would be good for your parents my mom is in nh im making dinner and taking it in.
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No, don't do it. Perhaps you can have the gathering and then everyone head over to the nursing home and meet with your parents in one of the activity rooms or the dining room. Or better yet, take the parents out to eat as a group. Just don't take them home so they can spend the weeks drumming up old memories that will only make them unhappy.
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I moved my parents from Wisconsin to my house in California so that I could take care of them. My mom had mild dementia and my dad had physical problems that made it impossible for him to continue to care for Mom and himself. We left the house just as it was and eight months later, at my dad's insistence, the three of us traveled back to their old home to finish cleaning it out and get it ready to sell. At first my mom did not recognize her old home, but after a few minutes, as she wandered around the rooms, things stared coming back to her. She was like a kid at Christmas opening up gifts! She said, "Oh, here are my dishes! Oh, these are my towels!" And it went on and on like that until she had walked through the entire house. Then she told me that she did not want to go back to California--that she didn't like it there. She was so happy to be back in her old environment and it broke my heart to know that remaining in Wisconsin in her beautiful home was no longer an option for her. She was sad when we had to leave, but, of course with the dementia, she did forget about it once we made the return trip. In answer to your question, I would say that it is better not to return someone with dementia to their old home.
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I totally agree with Pam and others. Took mom to her house when we were going through stuff and she questioned me for weeks maybe about what did you do with this and I wanted so and so to have that. I was so drowning in getting her in a retirement home before she thought of moving in with me, I helped hire someone to go through her stuff. She also took things that were already marked to sell and my helper wasn't happy about that. NO, NO!
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Absolutely not!!She'll never ever want to return to AL and hate her family forever!!
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