My parents ,both 98, live in their home. My dad has recently had some health issues,a tumor in his kidney which was embolized to stop bleeding. My dad has always been a very impatient person,wanting instant gratification or becoming angry when it doesn't happen. Lately it is that he doesn't need to make an appointment to see his doctors and will just walk into their office demanding to be seen. He still drives locally and has now decided that handicap parking is for him although he is quite able to walk from the parking lot. I brought this up with him yesterday and he blew his stack. I kept my voice calm while explaining that those spots are reserved for people who really need them. He didn't care. My mom has been relatively healthy but is deaf,will not wear her hearing aid,her legs are failing,and fell recently and cracked a couple of ribs. My sister and I sat down with both offering some advice on how we could make the house safer and were met with my mom throwing an outright nutty. we offered to put a different toilet seat with rails to help her stand. Last week while trying to get up off the toilet sh snapped a towel rack off the wall which also supported the bathroom sink. My dad thought it a good idea to put in this seat. My mother left it there until I left and then started badgering my dad so he removed it. Now they have something he found through mail order that attaches with string. I do not believe it to be safe. We offered to bring in a home health aid to help my mom shower and dress. That was also met with an outburst. Now my mom wants to go into assisted living because she thinks they will be at her beck and call. My dad does not and wants to stay home. It seems like I spend every free minute there refereeing whatever argument is going on at the time. My mom can be very controlling and generally gets her way. We offered to hire a cleaning service to come in once a week which ended the way of the toilet. We mentioned having a different tub or shower installed to make it safer which ended the same way. Back to my dad,he still drives and shouldn't be . His car is covered in dents which he claims were someone else's fault. I broached the subject a few months ago and got blasted for even thinking it. I worry about him injuring someone else. As I said before he is very stubborn. My sister and I brought up assisted living and my mom is all for it. What she thinks it is and reality are very different. My dad would probably do well except for meals. He is the fussiest eater I have ever seen. He only eats certain things and say if out to a restaurant will send food back to the kitchen repeatedly. My wife and I stopped going out with my parents years ago because it became such an issue. My dad will eat no sauce or gravy,no mayo,cream,melted cheese,etc. every cut of meat is terrible. He would probably starve at assisted living or at the very least alienate the kitchen staff. My sister and I want them to safe and happy,but are getting very stressed dealing with this subject. My sister lives a bit away so it falls on me to deal with most issues.