Should little children be visiting a hospitalized patient? And how do we explain his condition to them?

If you decide to take the 4 y/o to visit, it might be helpful to explain what the "machines" are. In particular, if there is a display showing pulse and BP, it could be mentioned that it is sort of like a speedometer, except for the heart. Turning it into a "learning opportunity" might be helpful in taking the edge off fear or shock. I assume a 2 year old is not capable of understanding such things.

Maybe start with a photo of him in the hospital. Then you can talk about the machines without being in front of him. There are good kid books on hospitals and what doctors do.
Maybe "tour" around the hospital first, talk about the departments and what nurses do and how patients get meals.
Then to visit him, your children will have a context and background and can not be overwhelmed with smells and sounds and sights or unusual things.

Imho, no, it is not a good idea to bring the children to the hospital to see their grandfather.

I believe children will mirror your feelings and actions. Just like they do with table manners, and other things. If you are composed, they will be also. If you are having hysterics, they will have hysterics also. You teach them how to feel and react.

When my children were in the 8 to 10 year old range, my daddy, their beloved, very active in their lives, Grandpa. Became terminal with Mesothelioma. As far as I am concerned, it is one of the most horrible ways to go. He wanted to die at home and so we did that. We treated it as part of the normal circle of life. They would go in before school and tell him goodby, after school, they would sit with him and do homework and watch TV. I had girlfriends who didn't think it was good for them to see this. So, I asked them if they would feel better if Grandpa went to the hospital. Back in 1974 children couldn't go to the hospital. They both said 'No, if he went to the hospital, they couldn't see him". So they saw all the sad, tough, things that went on. We believe that this life is not all there is, and they will see Grandpa in the resurrection. Any medical supplies and equipment was explained in detail. ie: oxygen cannulas' etc. They were not scared, they are in their 50's now and have always handled life and death in a positive way. There is a funny story about their uncle's funeral that I will tell some other time.

When I was about 12, my cousin died. I was not allowed to go to the service, because it would, I don't know do something bad to me, I didn't even know where he was buried for years. I found the place after looking at several cemeteries. I had a hard time forgiving my mother for not letting me say Goodby to Billy. Billy was 8 and his sister was 3. She didn't even know where he was buried either. When I found his grave, I sent her a photo of the headstone and she cried and cried because she finally "found" him.

If he knows them yes. From personal experience my grandma was in the hospital on iv. You and I know iv is no big deal. However I was 3 years old when I saw her. She passed moot to long after that and I associated the iv with her passing.

There is really no way of knowing how they will react. I was extremely close to my grandparents. When I visited my grandfather in the hospital I was a teenager. It was upsetting me but I wanted to see him. The worst was when the day came that he didn’t recognize me. No one prepared me for that. I was terribly upset by that.

I saw my uncle in the hospital as a teenager. It made me sad but I wasn’t afraid. Same with seeing my mom in the hospital as a teen. My mom was very healthy in my youth, but needed a hysterectomy later on, and I went to see her. I was glad to see her. She was glad to see me. It wasn’t scary at all. She was joking with her nurse saying that she was glad to have a break from cooking! Hahaha 🤣 My mom and grandma were excellent cooks and actually enjoyed cooking but I suppose that it was nice for her to have a break. She cooked for six kids, four of her own and my two cousins that she and daddy took in after my aunt and uncle died.

When my dad was in the hospital my kids went to visit. They were very close to my dad. He lit up with joy when he saw them. They were glad to see him.

I think it depends on the circumstances and the children that are involved. I would not make it a long visit. I kept the visits to my dad short and sweet.

🪴 U P D A T E 🪴

So this Sunday I took the children to see their grandfather.

Beforehand I had taken pictures of him in his bed with all the equipment and made a drawing to explain the functions of the machines to them. I had them run around the house so that they could feel the sensation of shortness of breath and understand better.

Friday they called him by FaceTime for 10 short minutes. They reacted well and were very very smiling, they asked all their questions. My dad was very moved to see them.

Sunday we arrived a little early so that I could show them around the hospital, the different parts and the garden.
When they got to the room my dad was asleep and I preferred to wait for him to wake up. 30 minutes later he woke up and the children sat on his bed, they hugged each other, my dad read them a story, they gave him pictures they had made and after talking a little of their week at school, of the future vacation, they left to let him rest. They stayed 45 minutes in total, with the 30 minutes my daddy slept.

On the way home they asked me more questions and we talked about what might happen after discharge from the hospital and the happy memories the three of them have.

So everything was fine and this is because of you. I wouldn’t had all those wonderful ideas without you so I really wanted to thank you !

XXX
Mary 🪴

Mary, I'm glad the visit worked out so well, due in no small part to your insightful handling of the situation, especially the pre-visit explanations.