I am new here. My mom moved in a few months ago. She is 88 and has dementia. She sleeps well at night for which I am grateful. She goes to bed around 8-8:30 and sometimes sleeps until almost noon. A few times this week, I peeked in around 10 - 11. She was in the bathroom so I figured I would start making her breakfast, but when I checked again, she had gone back to bed. Is this normal?
Late morning sleeping for her means "brain rest" for me!
My wife is 14 years into Alzheimers and sleeps well from 8pm to 9:15 in the morning. She is confined to bed, but still able to relate and smile, although she is often hard to understand. Then after breakfast and watching tv she naps for a while, wakes up, has lunch and then naps again. She is sleeping some 17 to 19 hours of 24, which is a lot.
However, there are research studies that suggest sleep helps people with dementia to live better with the amyloid plaques and Tau tangles in the brain. It does not remove either the plaques or the tangles, but it seems in some way that is not understood to enable the person with dementia to live a better quality of life.
This has been true for me and my wife of 58 years for several years now. As other respondents have said, many family caregivers become exhausted because the person they are caring for is NOT sleeping and demanding that others stay up with them.
Be encouraged. You can manage this.
Take care (of yourself). Give care (to others).
Prayers in facing the daily challenges of life.
Not all places have a regimented schedule. At the facility my mother was in, they could get up when they wanted and eat when they wanted. Certainly there were regular meal times, with food delivered at those times, but the majority were ready, willing and able to partake in those meal times, many getting settled at the tables up to 30 minutes before the food was even brought to the unit! For those who didn't want to eat at those times or slept in or napped, there was always some food that could be provided when they wanted to eat.
They would also have activities scheduled at various times of the day, and would encourage as many as possible to participate. No one was ever forced to join in or adjust their own personal "schedule" to the "norm."
I can certainly understand places that do try to keep on some kind of schedule. They have to tend to many for meals, bathing, toileting, changing, medications, etc. as well as planned activities. Without some kind of schedule, it would be total chaos.
But it was her normal.
Sending you a hug. None of it is easy.
Boredom is crushing, and trying to entertain a senior all day is exhausting as well. I'd try to get your mom up after a 10-hour sleep, give her breakfast, then try to have something stimulating for her to do for a while. Talk about what's in the news, work on her memoirs for a bit (prompts available online), play Scrabble or work on a puzzle, go for a walk or sit outside for a while -- have something for her to look forward to. Have a snack a couple hours before lunch, then watch a little TV or a video. Have lunch, go outside again, have a snack again, wave your arms around and do some chair exercises, then it's time to get dinner. Talk to her while you make dinner, have her set the table or peel potatoes. Watch a little TV after dinner, then it's time for bed.
It's a lot to keep her stimulated and awake, and maybe it's worth it to get someone in to help, but I'd give it a shot to see if she's really that tired or just bored.
Why do people feel the need to impose their schedules on us oldies?
Have mom see her doc for any underlying conditions, such as heart problems. If the doc finds nothing, then if she wishes let her sleep.
Hope you two are making the best of your time together. I was a caregiver and in the beginning I had no idea. I started listening to Teepa Snow for professional training and advice. This helped tremendously. I had a monitor in her room so I could see and hear my Auntie. Hopefully she's eating well and has a positive attitude 🙂. She's fine relaxing (sleeping)😌. That's what my Auntie called it. Take care of yourself get support and remember to take lots if viedo of you guys having fun together because you'll going to miss her when she's gone. Love in Christ.💙
People with dementia do sleep alot and when you're older you sleep more anyway.
I would let her sleep in as long as it doesn't effect her sleeping at night.
You might ask her if she would like you to wake her up in the mornings or let her wake up when she wants.
Do you have something for her to do or is she waking up sooner to have more time during the day to stare at the walls?
-it allows for toileting or incontinence changes
-it is better for skin integrity to get out of bed and move,
-it allows them to eat and drink something which can help stave off dehydration, digestive issues and the frailty that can be the result of too few calories
-it keeps medication schedules consistent
-it may help with bedtime and overnight sleeplessness
My Husband would go to bed around 7 and would stay in bed until I got him up at 7AM. He was usually awake but if not I would turn the light on about 6:45 or so and that would more gently wake him than me telling him it was time to get up. This worked out great when he went on Hospice and the CNA would come about 7 so he was used to getting up then.
I would shower him, dress him and get breakfast and he would doze on and off until lunch, eat lunch then doze on and off until dinner.
the amount of time sleeping increased so that towards the last month of his life he was sleeping about 20 hours if not a bit more each day.
I would try to keep him as active as I could either a walk or a ride to one of his favorite places (Sam's or Costco for the free samples) until it became unsafe for me to get him into the car or take him for a walk.
Keeping her active might help.
Getting a set routine will also help. Helps greatly when you actually have an appointment and need to get going at a specific time.
If she is used to going to bed at 8 or 8:30 getting her up and ready for the day at 7:00- 7:30 (or whatever time works best for you). that would give her enough sleep and if she is tired she can cat nap later. But trying to keep her engaged, active is a good idea.
I'm sure there are lots of things to adjust to with her being rather new at your house. Make sure to get time for yourself.