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My mother (83) has always been her local church's seamstress. Over 40 years ago she made the altar cloths and gowns. She has continued to do this over the years. About 5 years ago, the then priest asked her again. She really struggled as her eyesight was poor and she couldn't sew in a straight line. We, as a family, never ask her to undertake any sewing tasks and haven't for about 20 years. The church has a new priest and he has asked her to sew the altar cloths again. She cannot say no but she is really struggling. Her eyesight is even worse, she can't remember measurements, the task is too much. I was thinking of emailing the priest and telling him the task is too much for her. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. I just wanted to add that she doesn't want to do it anymore but cannot say no. She also isn't paid.

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Good grief, just tell the priest to get someone else to do the work and relieve the stress on mom who has terminal cancer. How can you not do that quickly?
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I totally would speak up for her best interests. Her heart is in the right place, but if it’s not bringing her joy, I totally think she feels she can’t refuse. Maybe test the waters a bit, like if you told her that someone else volunteered and they were very excited to do it, but didn’t want to take something away from her. See what her reaction is - relief from someone else taking over, or annoyance that someone is attempting to take away something she loves. I think that will give you the best idea of her true feelings, and can go from there.
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Allow your Mother the dignity to speak for herself.
Because you wouldn't want the result that the priest takes her job away.

If you have the same priest, maybe he could bring someone over, and your Mom could teach them how to sew the altar cloths, thereby giving her a job.

These days, there are church supplies online, available. Check that out. Maybe Mom would like to donate if money is not a problem for her.
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charlen74 Aug 2021
Thanks for your suggestion. She isn't capable of teaching anyone else and doesn't have the energy. She has terminal stomach cancer. She also struggles financially.
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I would talk to Mom. Tell her u see her struggling. That she does not need to do this. She has been a good Catholic and its time for her to rest. That if its all right, you can talk to the Priest for her. There has to be someone that can make the clothes. He may have felt he was giving her a task that she enjoyed.

Religion puts such a guilt trip on us.
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