Should I tell my mom she has memory issues?

My mom 86 lives with me. Every couple weeks or so she asks me when I have a minute will you explain what's going on and why I'm here. So I usually tell her she's been lightheaded and the doctor says she's to stay with me and keep well hydrated to get better. I bring her a cup of lemon water and she's good with that.

Keep it simple & specific. Honest-ish but without any doom & gloom.

You are having some problems with tiny blood vessels in your head. The Doctors are treating it with medication as best they can.

I discussed my moms Lewy Body with her the minute we had a diagnosis and she was so relieved to know what the issue was. We talk freely about it and it helps her when she loses things or gets days and nights mixed up! She says to me “Lewy had me up showering at 1am..I thought it was 1pm”. OR “ my top is missing..Lewy may have had me hide it”. Days later she will find it in a bag hidden in her room. She no longer blames her fellow residents of stealing.. She told me she had worried alone for a good year..mom is 89 yrs old. Good Luck

I just tell my Mom she has brain damage. She asks how and I explain that she's had strokes. It calms her down a bit.
There is no moral failing with brain damage...it's just...brain damage. an injured organ.
Dementia has such a negative connotation to it and ties into going "crazy".

I used to draw my mother a picture. Not that it made a lot of sense to her, or sank in for long, or that I'm particularly good at sketching brain diagrams, but I think she found that just addressing the problem and explaining it was a comfort - knowing that it wasn't her, it was a physiological process that wasn't "her fault." Certainly talking about the subject in terms of brain and circulation problems, rather than memory or sanity, makes the issue more to do with the physical and less to do with a person's abilities or character.

If she wants to understand, try to find ways of explaining. You're right to reassure her that she will always have support and you will make sure that everything is okay, but I wouldn't fob her off if she's actually asking.

I went through the same thing with my husband who just passed away June 27 of this year. At one point he thought he was having a nervous break down and he would cry his father also had vascular dementia and so he kind of knew and felt that he had the same thing that his father had however he would forget. The only thing you can do is reassure her that you’ll be there by her side every step of the way. I kept telling my husband I would make sure he got the best care possible that I could find for him and I would never leave his side I’d always be by his side no matter where he was. I told him I would never stop loving him and I would love him forever and we would be together again soon. I also told him that he was tired he just needed to regain his strength.Don’t say anything that will make her give up hope. This was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through and watch my poor husband suffer mentally, the anguish and sadness was almost more than I could handle. I wish you the best of luck and I will pray for you. Hugs and good wishes are being sent your way

In my humble opinion......I would say Mom......you just have some short term memory loss as is what happens as we all age but dont you worry about that because I will be your memory. So you have nothing to worry about. And give her a big hug and one from me too. I also believe its good to give her a great big smile and say " Mom you are getting better every day."
Keep reminding her of this. I believe it will put her at ease.

I would say..
"Mom your brain is not working the way it should. I know you are scared but we are all here to make sure that you are safe."
If she asks if she is going to get better your response could be
"Right now the doctors do not know how to fix the problem you have."

Telling her or not will not make a difference.
If you tell her once and she gets very upset do not tell her again.
If you tell her and she accepts what you have told her then you can tell her again when she asks. (and she will)
If she gets upset you can come up with other "excuses" that might not upset her as much. The main thing is to make sure that she knows that she is safe.

Im confused by ‘she’s entering last stage’, if she’s still so self aware that something is wrong. Nevertheless, I would be honest but kind. My mum never likes the word “dementia” or just that she has it. She went through a stage of self denial, rejecting/covering/bluffing to finally accepting. She is in what doctor calls severe stage,..she has her lucid and non lucid states that also come with aggression. She’s incontinent but mobility is still ok but slow. Before I had a blunt approach to it,.. then I changed to understanding. I don’t use the D word (dementia), I use memory problem and I give her a hug and say I know it’s scary but I’m here. Mum’s dementia started with grief. I’m sure she was already dispositioned for it, but grief was the trigger. Therefore, I use this to soften the blow. I tell her it’s completely understandable that such a huge shock would affect her and her memory. I came to the realisation of comforting her when she started seeking her late Mum/Dad who passed 30-40 odd years ago. The look in her eyes were the same as a little girl who’d lost her parents at the shops and that’s when I realised how scared she was. Mum is still also self aware in her lucid states. For instance when she has an incontinence accident (because she removes her depends and forgets she needs them), she often cries and says “I didn’t do this, how did this happen”. She still feels embarrassed.
So I say tell her but do it kindly and with hugs!

This may be the time to get her on anti anxiety meds. They often help.