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I have been taking care of my parents since 2013. In 2023, my parents had to move. I had to go in debt to purchase a house. I ask my sister for help and she said no. My brother was strayed from me and punished my parents because he didn't want to be around me. While my sister goes on cruises, parties, out to eat and the beach, here I am. I lost my mom in 2023, then my brother shows up 3 days before she dies then him and his wife tried take over. Didn't happen. I want to know would it be awful of me to take them to court because we have law in my state where all children are responsible for care. They don't visit anyway so.........

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Are you still caring for Dad? If so, what are his health problems. May be time to place him with Medicaid paying. Then sell the house abd get a nice apt.

If both parents are gone, sell the house, hopefully there is some equity. Get a nice apartment and start living your life.

You did not have to be your parents option. Your siblings did not feel they were and no law says they have to physically care for a parent. Filial laws are financial obligations and as said, many states have removed them from the books and the ones that haven't don't really inforce them.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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No, you would not win such a case. No law would require you to go into debt for your parents. Is your father still alive? If so, contact Adult Protective Services and tell them you can no longer take care of your father. Once they remove him from your care, sell the house, pay off the debt, and get a smaller place that you can afford. Then, like your sister, spend your time enjoying your life. Go see your dad as a visitor without needing to do the care.
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Reply to MG8522
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I hope you’ll stop drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. This isn’t any sort of winnable case, doubtful even the hungriest lawyer would take it. Your choices in this were yours, just as your siblings have been. I’m sorry for your loss and pain in this and hope you can find a way to move forward in peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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AlvaDeer Nov 17, 2025
Oh, dear, am I ever STEALING that expression. It is now mine forever.
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No, this is a case you would never win. You would have had to undertake this case while your mother was alive. Not when she is dead. It is over. Moreover, if you are talking about the filial laws they are almost NEVER EVER enforced unless there is a multi billionaire with an elder on government funds such as Medicaid. If it makes you feel better to consult an attorney to make certain of what I have told you, then do so, but please don't waste money on such a thing. You wouldn't have won in the beginning; children do not have to take on care of parents. You would CERTAINLY not win after the end of it.

I am sorry. I hope that you don't have much to do with them if you don't wish to. But I will be honest with you. I would not have taken on physical and/or financial care of my parents either. I was an RN. I would never have been capable of 24/7 in home care. I also feel it takes an entire lifetime to make ourselves "self-insured in age" to the extent we aren't dependent on family. That and a good job and good luck and good timing. You are responsible for the CHILDREN you bring into this world. Not to your parents.

I am truly sorry for your pain. It's time to move on and understand that you made your OWN choices and it isn't up to you to make choices for others.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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You can win the battle but lose the war.
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Reply to brandee
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Sue them for what? Not caring about their parents? Thats not against the law, even in a filial law state.

Instead of seeking revenge, why not live well NOW and start taking cruises and relaxing? Living well is the best revenge, it's said. You'll always know that you went above and beyond for your dear parents, and can be proud of yourself and your efforts. Nobody can take that away from you, being a good daughter.

My condolences on the loss of your dear mom in 2023.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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One hearing costs about $15k so do you have unlimited funds to start this?
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Reply to southernwave
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I once did the same for my parents. I learned hard lessons. Maybe your siblings were unable to do what you did, or honestly, it likely wasn’t their duty. Filial law is pretty outdated; we now have social safety nets for poor people. I don’t think you’ll get far in court. I think you need to deal with the house and move on in life.
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Reply to Bingocat
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It's awful to take anyone to court. Lawsuits can be hell and affect your life for months or years.

And you think what would happen if you did? How much money do you have? An attorney will want to know. Consult a lawyer to see where you stand!
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Reply to Fawnby
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I assume you mean that you are in a filial responsibility state.

Before you went into debt to purchase a house for your parents, did you consult an elder law attorney?

Filial responsibility laws are seldom if ever enforced; they are a throwback to the days before there was Medicaid to pay for care for the elderly.

I'm not sure I see where you would have the standing to sue your siblings; it's the state that enforces these laws when the state pays out monies that has been gifted away to adult children.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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