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My sister had my mother move in with her and sold her house for $500k. She used this money to purchase a condo that is used by her son. In addition my mother used her IRA monies to pay off the debt of her grandson.
My mother fell and now needs to be in an assisted living home. My sister says she can no longer care for my mother at her home. She is now pressuring my mother to ask me to pay for 1/2 of her care.
When anyone confronts my sister, she becomes argumentative and combative.
I have supported my mother for the past 20 years, providing all financial needs without any help from my sister. The assets my mother had and gave my sister were to provide monies needed for my mother's care in later life.

No.

In addition, I might call APS to report sis's financial abuse of your mother
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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Nope. Not a dime.
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Reply to ZippyZee
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NO! Is sister POA because if so she has taken advantage of her position. She is going to have a big problems if Mom needs Medicaid within the 5 years this all happened. The sale of the house should have gone for Moms care. Is the condo in Moms name? If so it WILL have to be sold for her care if Medicaid ever gets involved. Yes, Mom would be allowed her house in normal conditions but I think there is a cap on how much its worth. Like, you can keep a 200k house but not a 500k house. 500k can pay for a lot of care. And using her IRA to pay off grandson's debt!

Just curious and you don't have to answer...why did u need to support your Mom when she had an IRA and a 500k home. She could have sold the home and used the proceeds to help pay for an apartment.

What I see here is sis seems to be able to get everything she wants from Mom. She took Mom in just so she could get the house and now realizes that Mom takes more care then she wants to give. Oh well, Sis has made her bed. Whether the condo is in Moms name or Sisters, she is going to have to sell it and poor little grandson will need to live somewhere else. She has made her bed. You are not responsible to get her out of a mess she has gotten herself into. And at this point, thats what I would tell her and Mom. You cared for Mom for 20 years, you got nothing for it. Sister got the IRA and the house. Its up to her to figure out how to pay for Moms care.

I have a feeling you are the easy going daughter. Would not think about doing what your sister has. You need to now stand up for yourself even if it means being estranged. I feel you have probably allowed yourself to be taken advantage of because it was easier than fighting or it really wasn't that important at the time. Your sister has the means of fixing her problem. Sell the Condo. Good Luck.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Absolutely not! The condo should be sold to pay for your Mother’s care. It seems you have provided for your Mother for quite some time.

Does your sister have power of attorney? There may be an issue if eventually the money is used up and you have to file for Medicaid. It would be wise to consult an elder law attorney to determine what would be in your Mother’s best interest.
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Reply to EmmaSue
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Why did you agree to pay for your mother's financial needs over the past 20 years? How long ago was the house sale? And the money all went to a pricey condo that is in your sister's name and lived-in by her son (your mother's grandson)? How much money from IRA monies was used to pay off the debt of this grandson?

Your profile states that your mother is already in AL. If your mother needs money to pay for AL, then your sister will have to sell the condo. I assume it is in her name?

Stand firm, say NO, and don't let any cajoling on the part of "Dear Mama" sway you. Remember, your mother allowed YOU to pay for her financial needs while she was giving away so much money to your sister and your nephew.
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Reply to CTTN55
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Sell the Condo to pay for Mom's care.
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Reply to Sendhelp
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I would not pay and I would be calling the authorities because what your sister did is a crime.

Get her and her son prosecuted for the financial exploitation of a vulnerable senior and theft that they have committed.

Sorry but your sister is not a nice person to do this to her mom.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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You really need the short answer here: absolutely NOT. The money for her care is in your sister’s hands. Stand your ground.
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Reply to annemculver
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Absolutely not! Time for sis to start backpedaling. This is going to cause mom problems with paying for Care for a long time.

If there isn't money to pay for Care, then sis gets to keep providing the care.

Call APS to report financial exploitation.

At least you are in California, are mom and sis as well? Medicaid look back in CA is 2.5 years elsewhere 5 years.
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Reply to gladimhere
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Isthisrealyreal Aug 12, 2020
I think that it is unfortunate that California only has a 2.5 year look back. It makes this kind of theft at the taxpayers expense much easier.
(13)
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Who is the "Anyone" who confronts sister? Have you had her to a lawyer? If not, why not?

And I echo the question as to why you have been paying for ANY of your mother's expenses when such blatant financial abuse was taking place.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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