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Should I move my mom in with me until after the pandemic. She has a bad cough and I have not been allowed to visit for almost a month now. She is paralyzed. Also a 2 person assist with a hoyer lift.

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Melissa, I totally understand your concern. Do you know why she is coughing? Do you (or her facility) think she may have the virus? Have you spoken to the admin about what they intend to do about this? Is she willing to go to the hospital if it comes to that? I don't know how bringing her into your home is going to help her if she's sick and will ultimately need more medical attention than you can give her. Plus you may be exposing your self and your entire family. Then what? Talk to admin to get more of an idea. Let us know how it goes.
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Don't move her in at all. The virus is one thing, two person assist is already more care than you can provide.
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Melissa23 Apr 2020
You are right. It’s just hard not being allowed to visit at all.
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No. For all the reasons she is there in the first place and then because physically distancing is very important at this time for you and your family.
It’s a tough time for all of us and there may be aspects of moving her in that would be comforting to her (and you) but I would bet there are other aspects that would be stressful.
She is at home where she is. Accustomed to the rhythm and the procedures. Moving her could be stressful. And paradoxically, unless your family has been quarantined and practicing strict protocol you could be endangering her by bringing her in.
I would check on her cough, make sure she doesn’t have a fever and ask she be treated for the cough. Continue to communicate with mom in whatever ways are available to you and keep your family safe.
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Thankfully the chest X-ray came back negative for pneumonia. I really miss visiting my mom and having dinner with her. I have gone every other day for almost 3 years. She is sad and misses us too. I have not talked to the doctor. They put her on a steroid for the cough. No fever so I do not think it is the virus.
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The admin is not super friendly. I ordered pizza for everyone and she acted annoyed. It was expensive but I wanted to offer help to the over worked and under staffed nurses and aides.
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2020
Nothing is normal right now. I wouldn’t be quick to judge anyone. It’s possible that pizza is the last thing on her mind.

Yes, it’s a very sweet gesture but I think people are going to be preoccupied for a long time. People are trying to process a lot of emotions.
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Melissa
So glad you ruled out pneumonia and she has no fever. Of course she misses you and you her. She’s your mom.
I relate to your feeling out of Step with the administrator. I once did an ice cream supper for a rehab group. The patients loved it. All that sugar. But the staff, not so much. Sigh. I was young and idealistic.
I can appreciate your gesture though and I’m sure others did too.
I hope you are enjoying this time with your family. Hang in there and keep us updated.
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