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My uncle has been in an assisted living facility since the end of May due to vascular dementia. Before he was accepted as a patient, they came to my house to do an assessment on him. I told the nurse that he has been known to be combative at a previous nursing home however I have not seen it in my home. I told the nurse that I believe he should be in a lockdown unit because of previous reports of being combative which she replied that he seemed like all he need was help with meds and meals so they decided to put him in assisted living. On August 12th, the director of nurses contacted me to inform me that he needed to be moved to a different facility that specializes in combative dementia patients due to him being combative with staff. I made several calls to find out when he was being moved and also visited the facility. However I could not get anywhere with the staff. September 4th I received a phone call from a nurse that left a voicemail stating that my uncle pushed the nurse into a fish tank, was combative with four other staff members, and slapped an elderly resident. This nurse informed me that they were trying to find an ambulance that would take him to a local hospital for a psych evaluation and they might end up calling the police because my uncle was being so combative. It took me 30 minutes to get to the facility and when I walked in I found my uncle sitting in a chair. He could not explain to me what happened due to a speech impairment from a previous stroke. The nurse informed me that she was still trying to find an ambulance company that would take him to the local hospital so I told her that I would bring my uncle outside so that the situation could be diffused until the ambulance show up. 15 minutes later, the ambulance and four police officers showed up. The nurse that I spoke to told the police officers that the incident happened hours prior to her calling them and me. She informed the police that my uncle was no longer welcome at the facility and told me that I had to speak with the director about getting his things. The police were quite confused as to why they waited so long to call them, me, and an ambulance. They said that they were going to make a report but due to my uncle being 67 years old and not knowing what he is doing due to vascular dementia they were not going to press charges. He was taken to a local hospital for a psych evaluation. After 3 hours of being at said hospital, the hospital sent him back to the facility without notifying the facility nor sending a report of their findings. It took me over an hour to find out where my uncle was because the hospital said that they released him to the facility and the facility told me he wasn't there. Finally the facility located him and said that if he "acted up again" she would call 911 to have him removed. She also told me that they would send them back to the hospital in the morning because he was not allowed to be at the facility. I went to the facility the next morning and found that my uncle was outside the facility without his locating device to let staff know if he left the property. The nurse that I spoke to during the said incident tonight prior told me that he was never told that he could not come back to the facility. This was the same nurse that looked me in the eyes and told me that he could not come back to the facility. This nurse also told me that her and her staff are so afraid of my uncle that they will not go by him for any reason at all. I asked my uncle if he took his meds and ate breakfast that morning which he said he did. My question is should I address my problems with the director and see what's happening or should I reach out to a lawyer because I feel like this is elderly abuse?

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This is a toughie.

You want your uncle to be safe, but the people around him deserve the same measure of safety.

It doesn't really seem like abuse--b/c he wasn't hurt, but the people he assaulted probably WERE. And at age 67, he's probably still strong enough that a push from him could wind someone up with a serious fall or worse.

It sounds a lot more like miscommunication. I'm sorry for that aspect. But your uncle probably belongs in a smaller, more contained facility where he can be watched.

You are welcome to find a lawyer, but since your uncle is non-communicative, that may be hard. I'd try to work WITH the facility in dealing with this.

If your uncle truly did all you said, and police were called, etc., it doesn't look good for HIM as being the injured party. Not trying to make waves, just seeing the facts.
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I would reach out to a lawyer. You can also meet with the director but don't have high expectations, expect the director to back the staff.
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You are really, really facing a lot of challenges.   I wish I had some advice, but I don't, at least at this point, other than it seems as though a more controlled environment or facility is necessary for your uncle.   Something I would be concerned with as well is overmedicating him to control his behavior, and that might be a possibility given his behavior.

I hope you're able to find some time for yourself, just to unwind.
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Update: the facility has now sent him to a different hospital for another psych evaluation without letting me know until he was on his way. I appreciate all the comments. My main concern is obviously for my uncle but I am also worried about the staff and other residents. My whole problem is that we had it all set for him to transfer to another facility that specializes in the care he needs but no one knew what was going on because the director of nurses is out for personal reasons. I'm just so loss right now.
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