Should I hire a 69-year-old health aide?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking the applicant if they can physically do the job and all that it entails. It is hard work...that is why you are hiring it out.  Everyone can't do it, no matter what their age or weight.  The question here is can she do the job.

I am grateful so many of you have taken the time to respond.

To follow up, we subsequently interviewed and chose a different aide who is also Filipino, age 66, normal size and appears fit and active. She will stay 4 days and a second aide will stay 3 days. Had we not met her our plan was to hire the 69 year old but I found myself going in a circle and talking myself into it each time instead of just feeling comfortable with the decision.

Its only been been two days but I am really pleased how my mother quickly accepted having a live in caregiver. With Alzheimer’s it is relatively useless to include her in any advanced planning so I wasn’t sure how it would go.

Another thought b4 agreeing is: Does mom like this person, and understand the candidate's speech/accent? I'm married to 1/2 Filipino and have been around persons, nurses and doctors who speak Tagalog, Iloko, etc.
Some person's accent and command of the English language is superb. Having said that... some are not.
Very important that they understand each other so well for better outcomes.
(So much to worry about, I'm overwhelmed). I am a trained and certified professional interpreter, medical setting..... seen so many near errors due to language barriers. One word, one misunderstanding..... chaos. Tread carefully... think and exercise caution......... Hugs, M88

Hire her under the condition of a 15 day trial, 30 day trial.... 1 week trial.... you'll see if it's going to work out or not in just a few days....
If she agrees, and she's a good fit for Mom, win/win.

What say ye?
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Have u made a decision to hire her or not?

For the Time Being, I would Feel the Deal is Okay to have a Live in Aide That Age. Unless she is Showing Signs of Going Down Hill, I don't see the Problem. Highly Qualified. President Trump is 71 Now, Still in GOOD SHAPE to Run our Country. Just keep an Eye on her.

Phillippino carers have the reputation of being very good. The only reason I wouldn't hire her if it was me, is if she couldn't perform the tasks adequately. Maybe a trial is a good way to find out?

IMHO, you need to do a full background check on this potential caregiver. The obesity is a concern.

I think I'd be more concerned about the live-in situation...make sure you know -legally- what's what with respect to her (or anyone) living in your mother's home. I think it's harder than you think to get someone out, if things don't work out. It could be the best thing in the world, you never know, but it's a crap shoot. I believe there are some folks in this forum who have talked about this very issue. You may want to look through the Q&As and see if someone else has had this problem... Good luck

For me, the obesity would be a greater concern than her age. 69 year olds are often more fit not to mention more responsible than middled-aged adults.

Law or no law, I have found in general but prevalently, that obesity very often equals being chronically tired out. Use your judgment.

No ...keep looking & interview others.

Short answer: no. I faced the same challenge. Mom is 93, mid dementia, and wheelchair bound. Luckily, she only weighs about 100 pounds, but I can honestly say I now understand the true meaning of the term "dead weight." If your mom has any physical limitations, the aide must be in decent shape to lift/turn her now or in the future. Also if the dementia is now or gets to the point where the aide is having to physically restrain her, that could be an issue. The oldest aide my mom ever had was 64, but she seemed physically fit and managed OK. I find aides in their 40s to be about right...young enough physically but mature enough to handle the responsibility. The obesity isn't really an issue if the aide is strong and fit. Most of my mom's helpers are at least somewhat overweight, but that gives my mom more to hang on to in a lift. (Not joking here.) Keep in mind that if you want to keep your proposed aide long-term that both she and your mom will be aging, with more physical issues manifesting for both of them. Hope this helps!

Short answer: Not advisable. From experience, these applicants are thinking this is going to be more of a sitter’s job or that the patient is more fit than they really are. If they get hurt, do they have workers compensation insurance...like hurting their backs while trying to get a patient up, etc. Really think this through from a liability standpoint.

My concern is more with the obesity than the age. I, myself am considered obese, BUT!! I can walk very fast still and I can do all my work very fast, accurate and I have a lot of energy to do my work. I am 55 and I can outwork the 19 yo’s at work and they are all skinny, my nickname at work is “5 guys” because I do the job of 5 men and I am also nicknamed “hurricane” because I roll in with the swiftness and get everything done and walk very very fast to do my work. So my weight does not inhibit my work at all, but I have seen some people at work where their weight does inhibit their work, so take this into consideration and that is why I say, sometimes being fat doesn’t matter, but it depends on what you see, I have seen obesity cause laziness and lack of hygiene, caregiving is hard enough, much less if your mother has alzheimers to take more energy away from a caregiver, you want to be in good health to be able to handle this. If she’s so obese that she can barely move and tires quickly then I would say no. Now age, my mother worked till 81 yrs old and could handle it very well. But I know of 2 men, one is 67 and the other one is 71, both are in good health, but they are kind of gone upstairs, the stuff I see going on makes me say, everyone needs to retire at 65, but then I think of my mother who was more “with it” than 20 yr olds working at 81, so it really depends on the individual. I would assess closely, don’t rule her out, but assess this good. Also, if she is expected to only do shopping and laundry, light work then she can be both obese and old and handle it fine.

Ask for references so you can talk to several past employers about her abilities.

Obese people need work too.

Ask when her last check-up with the doctor was. She should be getting annual physicals, annual flu shots, and probably frequent (probably less than annually) TB tine test to check for tuberculosis. Will she be required to lift your mom? Have her demonstrate moving her from bed to chair and back. Have her demonstrate care that you expect - or give her a week probationary period with somebody there to evaluate her proficiency.

I've used in home care for 7 years. My wife has a weight problem which I can handle. You need to make sure your HHA or CNA can physically handle your mother. Can she lift? Can she roll your mother over? If the HHA or CNA comes thru and agency they will have done some screening and they will also outline the services that your helper is capable of or expected to do. If their first language is not English make sure they are very understandable when they speak. Also make sure of English comprehension.

Does she have references if so check them out.
You could give her a trial few days and be honest with her. Tell her you are having other people try it for a few days and you need to be there to see how she’s does.
Does this require lifting ?
Don’t just hire someone because your are desperate.
Is someone in the home to check on the caregiver as the patient would not be able to tell you what is going on.
Also someone should check on the patient to be sure they are physically being taken care of.

I don't think you are out of line to question whether someone is physically up for the challenge of taking care of your mother.  I am sure you will agree though, that there are slender folks who are lazy  I am more concerned about the fact that she will be moving in... that's risky for a number of reasons.

Go with your gut but my mom's caregiver for the past 2 years(and she will be quitting soon) turns 80 this November! She's a 2.5 year breast cancer survivor. She still likes to dance and go to parties! She takes 3 long walks a day. She's amazing.

I'm 67 and was obese when I was a 24/7 Caregiver for my DH.
I managed. If you like the person, see how she works out for you. Discuss what you will be expecting her to do and watch her facial expressions.

Sadly, go into any hospital or clinic and most of the aides are morbidly obese these days. I am not judging by size - I actually feel badly for them because no one chooses to be obese, it just seems to be the normal these days.

Obviously you and mom like her which is most important. Check her references. If she kind and loving and can do the job you are asking consider yourself lucky! Be very clear about all the responsibilities and if she feels she can do them great. Hope it works out very well for you. We also use caregivers and it isn’t always easy to find a good match. We have been very blessed.

Boy now i see how much discrimination there is in the world over age and people's looks. My how we judge others.

I wouldn't worry about the age or size. I was amazed at how some of Moms larger caregivers could handle her. She was like moving a twig to them. Just make sure you and she like them, they communicate well with you both, and they have good references.

No!

My mom is 93 with Alzheimer's, we have two aides one that comes on the weekend is 70 yrs of age. She is great. My mom look forward to the weekend aide because they have more in common than the weekly aide who is in her early 50s. The weekend aide seems to get her talking more and spends more quality time with her, have more patience and don't sit around just checking her phone and Facebook.

I understand your concerns, but look at the other side from a caregiver who is 70 years young. I have been a caregiver for 50 years. I love what I do, & I'm darned amazing at it - never had a complaint. I'm skinny as a rail, red-headed, fading fast,! but I've got a huge overflowing heart full of love, understanding, compassion, patience. Clients pick up on this, and if they're comfortable with the CG, they will work with her, to get whatever done. The point here is; Please don't judge a book by the cover, .. it's what's inside that counts. Good Luck,!!

I remember when I first hired an aid to help my 82 year old bedridden mom. I too, was a little concerned with both her age, (also late 60's) and her weight. Boy, was I ever wrong in making any assumptions. This woman has more energy and strength than I do and I'm at least 10 years younger. She has been a complete blessing to our family and honestly I dont know what I would do without her. I'm so glad I didnt let her age or weight hinder my decision in hiring her.