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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Let mom be your guide. She will not starve. When my dad began home hospice his nurse told us there would be three signs that end of life was coming…stopping communication, stopping eating, and sleeping a deeper than usual sleep. All proved very true with dad. Let mom’s doctor know what’s going on, consider hospice services, and just hold her hand. She’s had a long life and a struggle with dementia, she must be so tired. I wish you both peace
Thank you so much, your reply is very helpful and comforting. We know her time is coming and just want to be sure we are doing the best for her. Others have recommended hospice and I will ask the doctor about it again. I do think it is probably time. We do keep him updated regularly and have a visiting nurse who comes monthly. This is really the first day I’ve not been able to get her up and I’m alone tonight so I really needed to hear what you had to share. Blessings to you. I’m sorry for your loss and I appreciate your support.
This is the norm. If we live long enough we sleep more and eat less and in fact if we live so long we lose our ability to swallow or to leave the bed and become non-responsive, our bodies contracturing in a curled, almost fetal, position.
Discuss now with the doctor the current condition. Discuss palliative care. Discuss end of life choices. Discuss whether or not Hospice is indicated.
I myself cannot see a reason at 97 that a person should be awakened for anything. My own father, early 90s, told me he had had a wonderful life but was exhausted, and longed only for sleep and "the last long nap". This wasn't depression. It was deep acceptance, and almost a longing for the end.
It can happen quickly at her age. Make your calls and hold her hand. Hospice should definitely be consulted but I think passing in your sleep is a good way to go. If she seems comfortable just let her be and don’t worry about food and water. Let us know how she is tomorrow.
I agree it can happen fast. December 2024 my MIL in LTC was recommended for hospice. Within the week we got a call while in church to hurry over as they felt she was leaving. It was about 30 minutes after got there (a 20 minute drive) and she passed peacefully away with all of us gathered with her. She had as good an exit as one can have, including being pain-free with no drugs. It was an answer to prayer.
It sounds like your mom is nearing the end here on this earth as it is quite common to sleep more and eat and drink less then. I hope you have hospice on board now as they will be able to answer any questions you may have. And no, you should not wake your mom up, but let her sleep. If your mom is hungry or thirsty she will let you know when she wakes up, so don't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do. The body needs less and less as it prepares to leave this world for the next so just trust the process.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Discuss now with the doctor the current condition. Discuss palliative care. Discuss end of life choices. Discuss whether or not Hospice is indicated.
I myself cannot see a reason at 97 that a person should be awakened for anything. My own father, early 90s, told me he had had a wonderful life but was exhausted, and longed only for sleep and "the last long nap". This wasn't depression. It was deep acceptance, and almost a longing for the end.
At 97, she should probably be under hospice care at this point.
I hope you have hospice on board now as they will be able to answer any questions you may have.
And no, you should not wake your mom up, but let her sleep. If your mom is hungry or thirsty she will let you know when she wakes up, so don't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do. The body needs less and less as it prepares to leave this world for the next so just trust the process.