Should I charge my mother rent?

Charging her rent is a whole can of worms you may not want to open. It could affect your homeowners insurance rates because landlords pay more for home insurance and once you start collecting rent you are technically a landlord. If you collect rent and do not tell your insurance company about it you could even void any claims you may have. As a landlord you will also be subject to tenant laws of your area and will likely owe taxes on the rental income.
On the other hand she has an income and should be paying her own way. I would expect her to pay for all of her own stuff if she is able to do so. That is an entirely different thing than rent. She should pay for her groceries, hygiene items, clothing, phone, gas for the car used to take her places, etc etc. If she doesn't have a debit card and you should go to the bank and help her get one. If she doesn't want one then you can get her a prepaid debit card in her name and then transfer money onto it from her account, as needed, to pay for her things. Since she has an income of 36,000 a year it's unlikely you can claim her as a dependent but it wouldn't hurt to ask a CPA about that.

Yeah, she needs to pay you something. I'd say do the math and charge her accordingly. She'll need to contribute something as $3000 a month is roughly what me and my husband make in a month! (It's expensive to be poor)

Some of these questions/answers are a lifeline to me. My 87 y/o Mom lives with my husband and me for year and 1/2 now. Dementia (Alz) and heart disease. I do all the household chores, cooking, laundry, errands, Dr. appts, medication reminders _- everything! She refused to accept the changes in her life and prepare for them until her living environment, became well, unlivable. She is a hoarder as well. It has taken me over a year to clean out her house. She has never offered us a nickel. A great deal of her money goes to support the house she can no longer live in. Taxes, utilities etc. She refuses to consider for a moment to sell that house. Even though it would probably sell quickly given the shape its in because it is in a historic district.
Brothers are supportive but live too far away to help. GTG. Off to cut her grass. I know. I need a reality check.

Yes you should ask her to contribute. My dad lives with me and I have a DPOA. He doesn't want to discuss finances at all and trust me to manage his money. I do not charge rent exactly but I do keep all receipts for groceries and anything I buy especially for him. I charge him half for the groceries and all paper products I buy (he and my disabled brother go through tons of paper plates, napkins, paper towels, depends, etc.) I used his money to fence in our backyard for his dog which is now living with me also. I keep records with all the receipts so if anyone asks (my two other siblings for example) I can prove what I used his money for. I also use his money to pay for a sitter to come in and stay with him when I need to take my brother anywhere because dad can't be left alone. I think all that is perfectly reasonable. Don't feel guilty. But do get a durable power of attorney that covers you. I had a lawyer draw up a DPOA, a Living Will, and a new will that spells out everything.

Reading these responses I am curious if having a parent living with you makes you the head of household? Then you could file joint tax returns, if that would be helpful. But certainly your mom should pay for her own expenses and chip in on the groceries if she has the money. Also her money could go to part time aide if or when she needs it.

My mother makes the house payment and pays the electric bill plus her insurance all on a little over$1000. I pay for groceries, water, phone, cable and internet

WOW! My first question is... What is she doing with all that money she has saved!!! Sounds like cruise time to me! But seriously... I will give you my situation... my Daddy lives with me I handle everything. I try to let him live as independently as possible so every month we go to the bank and he withdraws what he believes he needs for the month and with that money he can do anything with give it away, buy extras, treats, go out with friends, whatever. With the rest I pay his part of the utilities, his grandpad cell phone, his tithing, his medication, his clothing, basically his needs. When we file taxes he is his own single. I am my own single.
Hope this helps
Blessings
hgnhgn

My short answer is yes.
My long answer - When my mom moved in with me 10 years ago she insisted she pay a small amount of "rent" each month. I realized she needed to contribute and feel like she was carrying her own weight so I said yes. I paid everything else. The phone I had installed for her, the satellite TV that she watched all day, the utilities, her clothes, the personal items...the list goes on. Eventually she needed a full time caregiver when I was at work. Mom only gets Social Security and nothing else. She had a tiny bit saved up during the time she was living with me and then we had to use it up for a caregiver for her and now she is on Medicaid. You can bet during the time I was having to spend her savings I was wishing I had let her pay for more things instead of taking care of it all for her. Having said that, I'm grateful she had the money there to pay for the caregiving she needed.

My mother has been living with us for 20 years! She has dementia and has had it from the start. (And before) I get no support from siblings so yes I've started letting her pay for things. Diapers, toiletry items, etc. And she pays me an amount covering food, car expenses, caring, (which I do) granny sitters very occasionally, a maid once a week for her. I still do her laundry and other personal things. She should be in a nursing home but we can't afford it. So yes I don't feel guilty and you shouldn't either.

If she has a will and leaving your half of her assets then perhaps no need to charge her for rent. She just wanted to teach you responsibility by charging you that small amount. Mothers are like that they mean well but can be irritating. I raise my hand as a Mom.
Take your doing with the sense that the good you are doing will bring rich blessings into your life. You are improving the value of your house with that bathroom. You will need it one day yourself or, you will sell your property one day to someone who needs that exact bathroom set up.
What if you wanted to do it for her, but did not have the money to do it and had no means? How would that make you feel?
Your 12 hour shifts are your everyday vacation. Enjoy your days at work helping others. Going to work is an independence we don't appreciate until we do not have a much needed job.

I’m reading all these posts... consider this... first you are family, second you are helping her, third pool your resources and support each other as a whole, it’s not about rent it’s about how you feel and you may be feeling resentful ... are you on her bank accounts you should be by now and budget funds for the household.....expenses you are taking care of her....

Yes, Absolutely you should charge rent. If she has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and dementia you should also consider being her Power of Attorney. As already suggested, you should seek out an Elder Care Attorney and get her and your affairs in order ASAP. Good luck

My husband and I paid for everything until one of my sisters suggested using Mom's debit card (with her approval) for one grocery run a month. That helped some, but definitely wasn't even near her share of costs. Mom was completely dependent on us, both physically and financially, but we didn't feel right using her money. We listed her as a dependent on our taxes. Even though money was tight on our fixed income, I'm so glad we handled it this way because it enabled Mom to have a large enough bank account when we moved her to a memory care facility to live out the rest of her life, rather than worry about a MediCal nursing home.

I charge my mother rent. She lives in a house that I own. She doesn’t require any physical help at this time.
I have taxes to pay on the house. Any repairs that are needed I take care of. I charge her $750. a month. I could easily get twice that amount if I were to open it up to strangers.
I have no problem charging her rent! She is safe. And she loves her independence.

Of course, she can afford to pay her own way. I paid a lot of money out when I was caring for mom in her home. It was just easier, as I never had her check book with me. When mom dies, everyone will show up for the money!! So do it right, an let her pay her way. When your mom dies, you will be surprised to see who shows up for what they feel they deserve.

Yes. I think it would be fair to charge your mother rent. Perhaps half of her retirement income.

If she has savings, those saving should have been used to make your bathroom more elder friendly, not YOUR money.

An elder care attorney may be helpful in guiding you on how to use her own money to care for her.

With that said. It is not wise to hold a grudge against your brother for not being the caregiver, if it was your choice to be the caregiver.

The elder care attorney can also discuss options such as assisted living that your mother will pay for out of her benefits or income.

With my clients I find that a lot of disagreements arise when one child wants to put mom in a professional facility and the other sibling wants to care for the parent at home.

If mom is in a facility, it will be her money that will be used. Not yours.

Yes. If she lived anywhere else she would have to pay. One suggestion, release any resentment you may hold towards her making you pay rent when you were younger. I moved back home with my family when I was younger with my daughter and my father charged me rent. It was so I know that things aren't for free. What I received for the little rent I paid was much more.

Back to your mom charge her rent and keep good records of the transactions.

I would you're providing everything. Don't feel guilty about it. My sister was living with my other sister and she charged her 800 a month. My sister ate hardly any of their food and dog sat their dogs a lot for free. My aunt charged my mother 800 dollars to live with her and she was wealthy. She couldn't live by herself and if she did total up what it would cost her. Do not feel guilty about it. I think a thousand a month is fair.

Go back and read your own post from outside the bubble. What is she paying each month for her Medicare Supplement and Part D if she has them and does she have co-pays? What is her property taxes on her vehicle and condo and the insurance costing her? Average that out and if she has money for clothes. If there is money left over, yes ma’am, she needs to give you some money to pay her cell phone bill, maybe gas money, and contribute. Who is in her will as far as the condo and all? Are you more financially sound than your siblings?? Why are you redoing the bathroom if it doesn’t need it? That is why I said reread your post and you will know what to do. You will know if you are being taken advantage of but remember that your mother is mentally ill when you do this. She probably doesn’t even realize the money aspect and if they all think you have the money to do this, they will certainly let you.

Absolutely. Your siblings are saving a fortune by having your mom live with you. If they give you a hard time, encourage them to do some research on the cost of assisted living (which is what you are providing for her).

Also, if you can get them to spend a week at your house taking care of her while you go out of town (even if your brother and sister come the same week and share the responsibility), it will give them a whole new perspective on how much you do for your mom. My brother and his wife came for a week (more than once), and when we returned home, he always exclaimed, "Thank you so much for taking care of Mom. I don't know how you do it! This is a lot of WORK and it's so confining and sometimes it gets on my nerves!"

My mom lived with us for 14 years, and this is how we shared expenses. (Her income was close to $2000 a month.) We did not charge her rent. But we asked her to pay her part of the utilities. We added up the cost of electric, water, sewer, trash pickup, cable TV, phone, plus property tax. Then we divided by 4 (since my husband, my son, and I also lived in the house). Then we added one tank of gas (for the car) a month (to help pay for all the trips to the doctors' offices and tolls along the way). Her payment was close to $400 a month.

She had her own kitchen, so she bought and cooked her own food. She said (with glee) that she had more disposable income than she had ever had in her entire life, plus she didn't have to worry about maintaining the house or the yard. She said these were the happiest years of her life. (Every year, she gave us an additional $1500 for repairs and maintenance of the house.)

When her Alzheimer's got too bad for us to handle at home, she went into a memory care facility and blew through her savings quickly. Thankfully, she was there only six months before she passed. We kept her home as long as physically possible.

God bless you for caring for your mom. It isn't easy, but I've never heard anyone look back and say, "I wish we hadn't done so much for Mom."

Well first off you have to have a talk with your mom about helping Notting wrong with her giving you some money every month she's living with you and you do everything for her. Now the bathroom yes it would be nice to do it over if its the walk in shower you're putting in because as she gets older she will need it . Wish u luck

And one more thing let her pay to do your bathroom also ask your siblings to with something also.

She should pay 1/2 if it's just the 2 of you. Half the mortgage, property taxes, insurance, utilities, food, gas, + any personal expenses - clothes, meds, etc. + add your time going to Dr. etc. - you might have to declare the income from this, but would be worth it. Main reason. - If she ever needs to go to SNF or Memory care (you cannot take care of someone 24 hrs a day - it might be too much to have caregivers at your house) If and when she uses up any saved money , property, etc. down to the spend down limit for your state (about $2000 I think) then Medicaid will pay for her SNF - after taking her Soc. Sec 1st. Do not spend your money - You may need it yourself. Don't leave an inheritance for siblings who do nothing to share with you. Whatever she has should be used for her care. If any don't like it - let them do the care giving - they will quickly agree to let you do it as long as possible. All you are doing is saving the government - and any potential heirs - a pile of money - to your own detriment.

I wouldn't. She has given you many years of love & life & she is in her twilight years.
This is just my opinion.
😄

If you charge her rent you will need to declare the amount as income on your taxes. You should speak to your accountant.

Can’t believe you’re asking this.
The answer is yes. The real question is how much.
check out the local rental rates on a studio apartment and charge her something approaching that. Then, split the utility bills (including cell phone) 50/50. As for food, I would split that 50/50, too, just to avoid an ugly discussion about it. If she objects to any of this, simply offer to help her find an apartment. Explain patiently an unemotionally that you cannot support while you are saving for your own retirement.

Why are you paying for everything? Are you saving for your own future old age?

Room and board charges is fair. Your utilities bill should be higher and cleaning in the areas your mother uses are probably cleaned more frequently as well. There is no reason why your mother should not pay for her shampoo and personal care items, cleaning supplies and detergent, and certainly food and other expenses you may incur to keep her comfortable.

Best regards,

Are you an authorized user on her checking account and her investments? If not, that's where you need to start. Take her to an attorney to get this set up and then have the discussion about helping with the expenses, especially the bathroom remodel. Calling it "sharing" expenses instead of "charging rent" and done with an attorney, seems much nicer.

Get a full Power of Atty and yes you should charge or "share" expenses with her. There is no reason not to.