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Tried to increase MELATONIN through tart cherry juice 1 teaspoon per day. Even this low dose seems to cause loose stools and rushing to bathroom a little too late.


Tried to replace LARGACTYL sedative through cup of warm milk with 1 teaspoon sugar before bedtime.


Seems to sleep through the night. Then wakes up early morning 5am. Then breakfast at 7am. Then falls asleep. IMPOSSIBLE to keep her awake !


Now considering changing MY routine to suit HER routine. IS IT NECESSARY to follow the "circadian cycle" of "day-work night-sleep" ???


Maybe "night-work day-sleep" should be promoted because it is more beneficial to ELDER despite inconvenient to carer ? Carer's FOCUS should be ELDER (not carer).

Hey, if you don't mind sleeping all day & being up all night, week in and week out, month after month, go for it! I say an elder SHOULD be sleeping at night and their schedule SHOULD be tailored to everyone else's, but if you feel that your focus should be on the elder instead of yourself, then who's to stop you? Don't forget, however, that in advanced old age, the vast majority of them sleep 90% of the time anyway, no matter WHAT lengths you go to!

Best of luck!
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Reply to lealonnie1
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PreferNotToSay Nov 6, 2019
Thank you. WHY do old people sleep 90% of the time in advanced old age ? Are they TRULY asleep or just closed their eyes and lying down ? It is very reassuring to know excessive sleeping is natural. You are the only person who told me that. Whenever I ask "professionals", they tell me NOTHING. Mum says it is because they don't know !
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Don't force yourself to make a change, it's not healthy. Nor is it healthy to be on 24hr duty without a break. This leads to burnout which doesn't help anyone.
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I could answer your question but it is national security and based on your profile if you knew you would be a threat and need to be exterminated.
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PreferNotToSay Nov 6, 2019
No, I am absolutely not a threat. I dislike privacy violations by Facebook/ Google/ etc and millions spam emails I get daily. I will try to change my profile as it upset you. 8-)
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What are your natural circadian rhythms? Reason I'm asking is that it can be difficult to go against your own. I use to work a job that required me to get up at 2:30am. I started work at 4am and was off at noon. My "naps" in the afternoon ended up being 2-3 hours. Why? I'm a night owl and could never fall asleep before 9pm, even tired. The hours impacted my health. I was always hungry, always tired, and not getting any exercise. It took 6 months to get back to a "normal" for me sleep schedule.

If you decide to change your schedule, decide how much sleep you need and a sleep schedule. Stick to that schedule. Make sure you get 7-9 hours. 4 hours of sleep will eventually lead you to being physically and mentally exhausted. You might find yourself getting sick more often. (It's why it quite my job) Also, make sure your family and friends know when you will be sleeping.

I learned all this the hard way.
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Reply to SNeedsAVacation
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I don't see any reason, she is getting adequate sleep during the night. Old people just sleep a lot, possibly due to boredom.

As far as promoting the night work cycle, no way would I do that, nor would I give up my entire way of living for someone else. Homes put their focus on the elders, that is their job not mine!
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Reply to DollyMe
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Wrong: career should care about herself/himself. Without proper rest work, sleep patterns you will run yourself into the ground in fast order. You are not a martyr and shouldn't become one. Remember martyrs always come to bad ends.
Cant she be left to watch tv while she is up? Lock the doors, turn off power to stove/kitchen? Or find personal care or a carer for ccx a few hrs.
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Reply to Jasmina
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Depending on where she is in her life sleeping a lot is not uncommon and the patterns will change.
It was not uncommon for my Husband to sleep up to 20 hours a day and as he got closer to EOL (end of life) he slept even more. I am sure there were plenty of times he was awake at night and I was unaware of it. I would get him out of bed at 7 am, sometimes I would wake him but most of the time he was already awake. I guess the advantage I had was that he would not get out of bed unless I got him out.
When she wakes at 5 am what does she do? Do you HAVE to get her out of bed, or could she relax a bit more and give you another hour or so?
As caregivers we do have to focus on self care while we are also caring for someone else. So your sleep is very important, the time you spend on yourself is very important.

I just read one of your replies to an answer abut why they sleep so much.
There is a pamphlet you can read, you can read it on line..it is called Crossing the Creek. This pamphlet deals with sleeping a lot. And the explanation makes a lot of sense to me.
While people towards EOL sleep a lot it is to help them resolve issues. A lot can be done in a dream state that can not be done in real time. Sort of like when you have a dream and it seems like so much time has passed in the dream but when you wake it is only minutes.
I think a lot of processing of events also happens while they are a sleep. People with dementia are bombarded with stuff going on around them and it might be only when they sleep that they can slow events down enough to process them.

In any case..don't change your sleep pattern just to accommodate your mom's.
If she can safely stay in bed for a little while leave her there. It just might be that getting up a bit later will shift her day a bit and she will get used to the schedule.
If you can keep her engaged with projects during the day, a walk (even if she is using a wheelchair) the fresh air might help. This might stave off one of the naps and might lead to longer sleep at night.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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I go to bed after the Colbert opening and wake up without an alarm between 2:30 and 3 am. You can be alot more productive at night than during the day. When you need more sleep you will crash...over the weekend I thought I had cramps but it ended up being the stomach flu so I slept when I wasnt throwing up. Once your used to it, too much sleep gives you a "hangover" which is hell. At first, 20 minute cat naps help.

Btw, 65% of people are lactose intolerant and that changes by ethnicity so I would cut out milk.
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PreferNotToSay Nov 6, 2019
Thank you. No, my Mum is not lactose intolerant Thank God ! She likes her custard. What is Colbert opening ?
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To me, sleeping through most of the night and waking up at 5:00 is pretty close to regular… have breakfast and take a catnap mid-morning. Pretty cool pattern! That’s what my all my animals, three types, like to do.
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Reply to Zdarov
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I was advised to sleep when DH was asleep and be awake when he was awake. It didn't take long since we were both pretty much living in the living room and I started using a Sleep-chair.

My only problem was when he started waking me hourly at night to assist him in voiding (he used a urinal) - I was then advised to start using Ashwagandha and it helped me to get back to sleep most of the time. I kept iPad tablets charged for when I just couldn't get back to sleep. But really, the Ashwagandha helped me to remain stress-free and fully rested.
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